


Alone Together

by kiwu



Category: Superjail!
Genre: M/M, Superjail
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2018-09-19 20:29:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 62,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9459296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwu/pseuds/kiwu
Summary: "Are you guys comfortable with a little tasteful nudity?"Offshoot of the Time Police episodes (an AU based on when they were apparently abducted). Focuses on the twins and their relationship after they left Superjail as they struggle to adapt to their new lifestyle and struggle to support each other as they realize they're not as similar as they once thought.WARNINGS FOR: non-con mentions (but no actual non-con), violence, drug use, bulimia/emetophobia, weird and complicated relationships like idk where this is gonna go dude.Probably a long and long-term project.





	1. home

It was always hard to tell the time once it was dark- it was harder when time no longer mattered. Most places they went had no clocks and no way of telling the time, normal for places like these. The city was alive 24/7. Even with a noise curfew, their little gated community was always alive as well, usually folks yelling obscenities at ones they used to love, arbitrary fights and general rowdiness. Since everyone was caught up in their own drama, they paid no mind to the noise of others.

They had a private taxi to take them to and fro on a whim. Returning from a procedural night out, One had just about nodded off in the back of the taxi. His brother carefully put his arm around the back of the seat and held on to his shoulder to keep him in place in the event of an abrupt stop or sharp turn, contentedly watching the city lights blur past as they drove in a calming, muffled silence.

As One continued to nod off, his uncapped water bottle rolled out of his hand and onto the floor. The floors were plush and soft so the bottle made no sound. It went unnoticed by his brother until the aroma of vodka was overwhelmingly present. It was then purposely ignored - it was more important to keep One from falling forward than it was to pick the bottle up. They weren't a very rowdy or purposely disrespectful pair, but they could afford to pay for cleaning and damages and had done so more times than they could count.

The taxi slowed down and came to a gentle halt at the community gate. Two looked over at his brother and squeezed his shoulder gently a few times.

"Hey, wake up, we're home."

One tiredly tried to shoo away the interruption before stretching and opening his eyes slightly. Unamused and dreary, he looked over at his brother before leisurely grabbing his bag next to him as Two opened the taxi door. The lights came on as a result and One cringed as his brother let go of him and carefully stepped out of the taxi. Before helping his brother out of the taxi, he went forward to the driver's window to hand him a stack of bills.

"Sorry, this might take us a minute." The driver nodded politely in reply as two went back to help his brother. It almost always took a minute.

Two gripped his brother's arm as he stumbled out of the taxi to try and make sure he didn't fall. It became increasingly evident that One was going to need some help getting to the house. Once he was safely out of the taxi, Two carefully closed the door while still holding onto his arm. He signaled a thanks to the cab driver, who nodded in return before driving off.

"Let go of my arm," One's request was almost inaudible- quiet and slurred. "I can walk. I'm not a baby. And it hurts."

Two loosened up his grip before completely letting go of his brother's arm. His brother in response tried to take a step forward onto the curb and would have landed face-first if Two didn't catch him by his arms. He looked at Two with disgust and irritation, but was too out of it to do anything further in response.

Two sighed, and gently lifted his brother up and over his shoulder. Defeated, his brother did nothing to protest being lifted. As they both came to expect this to happen, it became less humiliating every time. Carefully, Two walked to the community gate and punched in their pass code as the gate slowly swung open.

The golden-colored, intricately designed gate was a telltale sign of the high class establishments within. It was a safe and selective community away from the business of the city. A short road lead to a complicated water fountain that was the centerpiece of a roundabout. Every house, save for a few, were identical architectural marvels. They were the goal which most people there strived to achieve. For now, it was good enough for the twins.

The twins were identical in body build, but Two had always been physically stronger, which was for the best- this wasn't the first time he's had to carry his brother home. He could hold his liquor better as well, which was also for the best since he often had to chaperone his weaker sibling, who was prone to let his hotter temperment get the best of him in public.

Their personalities had wound up differing a bit as time went on, but they still went together perfectly without a hitch. One had taken to straightening his hair to differentiate from his brother in public, but most couldn't tell them apart anyway. When they were in the comfort of their own home, they'd still wear matching attire, but being partial to fashion trends they'd often leave the house in completely different outfits.

Their house was one of the furthest from the gate. On occasion they'd considered seeking a clearance licence to allow the cab driver to drop them off in front of their house rather than at the gates, but they'd both become quite sticklers for privacy and always decided against it. They had a car of their own, but they knew it wasn't responsible to take it out if they were going to return drunk out of their minds. The car was just another toy to flaunt their wealth.

Two walked gently with his brother over his shoulder so he wouldn't disturb him, unsure of if he'd passed out or not. The community was relatively quiet compared to usual- no one was outside, but you could hear a few arguments going on in some residences, some kitchenware being thrown across rooms. It left Two with a warm feeling in his chest knowing that the bond he had with his brother was too strong to let something like that happen to them. It felt good to have someone unconditionally understand you. It felt good to feel superior to everyone around them.

Their house was one of the larger ones in the community, usually reserved for larger families, but it still looked no different than the houses around it. Despite how high class the community was, when everything looks the same, it feels featureless.

Two sighed contentedly as they reached their house, leisurely unlocking the door. One had dropped his purse at some point between leaving the cab and arriving home, but neither of them would ever notice.

A dim lamp in the far corner of the living room turned on automatically as the door closed behind them and the noise from the other houses completely vanished. The only discernable sound was the clock calmly ticking on the wall. It was always a great comfort to come home and disconnect from everything but each other. The living room had a plush, off white floor and a black leather sectional sofa set. A home theatre system was made up of a roughly eighty inch television and an impressive and intricate speaker set. A separate mini fridge was next to the sofa. A glass table in front of the television was littered with fashion magazines.

This was home, and it felt more like home every day.

Two very gently walked his brother over to the couch and placed him down on his back, who in return groaned and covered his eyes with his hand. He walked over and grabbed an ice pack out of the mini fridge, returning to his brother's side. He kneeled down on the floor beside him, carefully pushing his hair aside off his forehead before resting the ice pack down on it.

"Want me to put on the tv?"

One faintly nodded. The noise was a welcome distraction moreso than actually watching the television. He sluggishly kicked his shoes off onto the floor as Two got up to power on the TV and grab a water bottle out of the kitchen fridge. He walked over to turn the light off before gently wedging the water bottle between his brother and the sofa where he could easily reach it. He'd broken the seal on the bottle so One could open it easier.

He looked at his sick and drunken brother and sighed contentedly at being back in the safety and comfort of their own home. He knew his brother like he knew himself - he knew he'd be fine after he slept it off. After grabbing a magazine off the table, he sat on the sofa next to him and reclined, glancing over at One every now and then, who was evidently asleep after some time.

Two turned off the television as their night finally came to a close.


	2. nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins share a nightmare and reminisce on some of the situations that they endured in the past.  
> Warning for nondescript emotophobia/bulemia

If either of them were plagued by bad dreams, the bad dreams were sure to shortly follow the other as well. Two was sat half awake downstairs watching the television after being woken up by another nightmare. After this happens so many times, you learn to stay awake to stop it from happening again. For a short while, the twins were scared to sleep at all. 

Like clockwork, a slammed door upstairs was followed by the sound of soft footsteps making their way down the stairway and into the kitchen. Two smiled to himself empathetically- it wasn't a happy smile so much as it was a sign of understanding between them. After grabbing a water from the kitchen, One walked over to the living room, laying down on the sofa section adjacent to Two. They watched the television in silence.

The set of them had been through a lot since they'd left Superjail- and even if their darkest days were over, those days constantly resonated with them against their will. They had shared every experience they had together- bad or good. Their experiences brought out some differences between them, but never divided them. They responded differently to bad situations, but were usually on the same page.

Without knowing what they were fully getting themselves into, the twins had formerly signed a modelling contract with a man they'd met at a fashion show shortly after leaving Superjail. Inexperienced and too trusting of other people's motives, they never really stopped to think about the dangers of what they were doing until it was too late and they had signed their lives away.

Their freedom had been sold to their manager, and though things started off sketchy from the beginning, they only got worse as time went on. They'd been promised wealth and happiness- and they'd gotten more wealth than they knew what to do with, but only found happiness in each other.

For a while they had lived in the back of a van, travelling with their manager, modelling clothing for companies no one would ever hear of. Eventually they'd started being booked for fashion shows- the dream, what they always wanted to do, and as such, the process of starting was great for them. 

The first show they felt went great- flawless execution and a great time for everyone involved as far as they could tell. 

Their manager had pulled them aside once the show was over.

"I don't think you fellas were made for this," aggravated, he lit up a cigar as they headed back to the van. The twins looked at each other in mild confusion, confident enough to assume he was joking until he continued on talking.

"You're sloppy. You need to present yourself better."

It was the twins' first real show. Things would get better from here. Trying to convince them otherwise made no sense to them, especially since they were locked in on a contract they couldn't escape. Despite the harsh criticism, at the end of the rehash, the manager would always reveal he'd already booked them in another show.

At the end of every show, the manager would become angrier, finding more things to complain about and expecting more from the twins when there was nothing they could to do improve.

"You obviously don't have the talent for this!" He'd slam his glass down and grit his teeth, angrier after every show. "You'd be nothing without me, and this is how you repay me? You need to work harder. You need to be attractive and more aggressive. Aggression is confidence."

The twins did everything they could to appease their manager. They no longer enjoyed the shows but instead feared the end of them as it always brought emotional abuse- and sometimes physical abuse as well. They'd become malnourished and frail, eating and sleeping less, the weight of their dreams crushing down on them. They'd jokingly talk about running away, but never went through with it. They assumed this treatment was normal for people in their position and so they never seeked help out of fear of being ridiculed. They seemed as well received at the shows as they always did, but it still never stopped their manager from being livid.

He'd forced the twins to become bulemic as well, preaching about how it's what all models go through to make it to the top. Two was more receptive and adhering to it than One was. One had refused to do it and couldn't find the mental fortitude needed to stick his fingers down his own throat. Eventually exploding from impatience, their manager stepped in, physically forcing One's mouth open and forcing his fingers down his throat until he'd vomit. 

This became routine for them as One continually could not find the strength to go through with it- and after every time he was physically violated, he'd become weaker and angrier, each time becoming more unbearable for his brother to watch, but they both knew it wasn't a choice they had a say in. This was one of the first times the twins had experienced things differently from one another. Two tried to soothe his infuriated brother to little avail. Eventually he'd offered to help him with it, since most of the problem was being repeatedly violated by a man they'd both wish would drop dead.

Having his brother help him was humiliating, but not infuriating. Eventually thanks to the comfort of his brother, One slowly was able to do it himself until it became a routine part of their life. To a degree, this pleased their manager. The worse off the twins were, the happier he seemed to be- at least until the end of a show.

The aggravation and abuse had continued after every show, getting exponentially worse every time. The twins had become emotionally hardened, resenting everyone who looked at them and everyone supporting them for allowing this kind of thing to happen. One had become a bit more outspoken than Two, and would lash out at people for talking to or staring at them. This kind of thing garnered mixed reactions, but most people seemed to enjoy it. The more the twins became reserved and resentful, the more well-received they became. They gained confidence, but were stripped of everything else they ever had or wanted. There was only happiness in each other's company.

They'd both picked up some unhealthy coping mechanisms to help them make the most of bad situations. In the midst of enjoying a silent smoke in the back of the van after their show, their manager angrily flung open the van doors as usual, attempting to take a swing at the twins in anger. He opened his mouth to say something, but slowly stopped and clutched his heart instead. Attempting to steady himself on the side of the van, the twins looked on in fear. With no warning, their manager fell backwards onto the pavement and immediately dropped dead from a heart attack. Not knowing how to respond to the ordeal, the twins looked at each other with uncertainty about what this would mean.

The ordeal almost instantly attracted the attention of show attendees and an ambulance was called.

The twins were briefly questioned about their experiences with their manager as the biopsy was done on the spot. He was pronounced dead from heart failure with heavy drugs found in his system, but no one ever batted an eyelash at drug abuse where they went. Their van was briefly searched for evidence as well- cocaine was found, but the twins weren't interrogated about it. The whole ordeal was relatively nonchalant, as if this kind of thing happened often, which it did. The van was seized as evidence, but the twins were free to go.

At the end of it all, the twins were notified their contract was null and they were free to do whatever they'd like. Their earnings were secured and not seized as a result of the contract failure. Other contractors had reached out at them to try and buy them, but they'd politely declined, ripping their business cards to shreds once they were out of sight.

They needed to focus on getting themselves back together, and they certainly had the time and money to do so now.

They called for a cab to drop them off at the nearest hotel. The ride was made in silence. 

They looked out of their hotel room at the city around them as the gravity of the situation slowly settled in. They could live nearly any lifestyle they wanted. They'd been through a lot, and it would take a lot of time to heal, but they still had each other.

Unfortunately the trauma they'd went through would stay with them and make it difficult to heal. Some habits they picked up were hard to kick.

The present night was like so many before- being woken up by nightmares of what they'd been through, reminiscing on the past against their will, then coming downstairs to try and distract themselves the rest of the night. They didn't have much to say during these times, everything had already been said. The noise of the television drowned out the silence as they enjoyed each other's company. The sun would come up and they would try again.


	3. breaking glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prescription drug use gets out of hand for one of the twins while the other takes the wrong approach to confronting him about it.
> 
> Warnings for:  
> drug abuse  
> violence

 

Their hardships had brought out some differences between them, but despite this they grew closer than they were before rather than drifting apart. They'd developed different mannerisms in speech - One was often more blunt than his brother, who tended to be more soft spoken. Two would often have to save his brother from arguments he'd started. Skilled in faking an empathetic tone, Two could sway and win over nearly anyone as long as he stayed level-headed.

A lot of bad habits they'd been forced to pick up had stuck with the twins to various degrees. As time went on, One's bulimia got worse as his brother's had gotten better. Eventually it stabilized to a more manageable level as One became more familiar and accepting of the side effects. Their diets started to differ as well - while One was more reserved about his food tastes and how much he ate, Two was more into comfort food and had even taken up cooking as a hobby. Their dietary habits didn't cause any discrepancies in their physical builds, but One was much more frail than his brother. Still no one could tell them apart, but it no longer bothered them.

During their dark days, they had both tried to better cope through medication and had both been prescribed various antidepressants and mood boosters. After finding out how easily they could get prescription medications, they'd tried faking illnesses and pains to see what they'd be given to cope with it. They'd fraudulently tried muscle relaxers, opiates, stimulants, suppressants and anything else they could get their hands on. In their line of work, doctors didn't seem to ask many questions.

They had their phase of experimenting together, and it had continued on after their contract was done and after they'd settled down in a permanent home. Having no obligations to anyone and nowhere to be, they'd try to forget the past by mellowing out together. It was an easy way for them to bond, two limp heaps on the floor, softly reminiscing on all the things that could have gone right, thinking about all the things they could do in the future if they ever had the enthusiasm to do any of it.

Steadily, One's recreational drug use far surpassed his brother's, getting gradually more concerning as time went on. Two would go downstairs at night to grab a drink and find his brother half on the sofa, half on the floor- awake, but unresponsive. One would smile faintly at him once he noticed he was there, but was too weak to say anything. Being more fragile than Two, everything tended to hit him harder and faster- liquor, pills, anything that would have an effect on him.

Two would kneel next to him and try to consult him, try to get a response, try to talk some sense into him- usually to no avail. Sometimes he could talk, but most of the time he could barely move. Two started staying downstairs with his brother when he found him like this, usually pouring himself some liquor to try and be on the same wavelength as his brother, to make him more relatable- usually they were on the same page, but these days hit Two hard as he didn't want to accept this as the new normal for them.

He'd fall asleep on the floor next to his brother- two lifeless bodies fighting their own separate battles. Neither of them would bring it up the next day.

As Two had steadily kicked his prescription habit, One tried to become more secretive about his, being clearly aware that it was getting worse. Two would wake up and come downstairs to find his brother in the living room time and time again- at this point he wondered how he'd even navigate down to the living room without hurting himself. One, on the occasions he could still speak, would be honest and apologetic about his behavior, where he wouldn't bring it up otherwise.

Two would sit with his brother downstairs for a while, who would usually fall asleep relatively quickly after, before carefully picking him up and bringing him back up to his room for the night.

Their home was made up of three floors with a large, atmospheric patio area out back. The second floor boasted an impressive master bathroom, a recreational area with a pool table, a large, in-wall tropical fish tank, several spare rooms and a walk-in closet. They had separate bedrooms up on the third floor, with another small bathroom, and many rooms they hadn't yet done anything with.

Two would very slowly and carefully carry his brother back to his room, which was made up of matching cream furnishings and a wine coloured carpet. The desk was always littered with pill bottles. He'd carefully place his brother in bed, who more often than not was usually passed out by now, before vacantly staring at him for a few minutes trying to come up with a way to undo the damage done to them- then go back to bed himself. Like usual, neither of them would bring it up the next day.

Two had started sneaking into his brother's room and throwing away his prescriptions little by little. Ideally, he was hoping his brother would ask about them- the conversation piece needed to have a serious conversation about the problem. Instead, One grew more irritable and silent as time went on, often going out of his way to avoid his brother. Feeling like he was doing more good than harm, Two would continuously try to engage in conversation with his brother, who ignored anything that didn't require a mandatory response. As the days went on, One had eventually started to ignore him completely. They'd never had conflicts with each other before, and this was a delicate situation- Two started to wonder if this was the best course of action for helping his brother. One spent more and more time in his room. This behaviour went on for several days before Two contemplated forcing his brother to have a sit down conversation with him.

 

Realizing he was too restless to sleep, Two decided to get some late night housekeeping done to keep him occupied. They were probably the only house in the community that didn't use a cleaning service, but they didn't live like animals and did a good job of taking care of the house themselves.

He was in the midst of cleaning out the fish tank when a door slam from above shook the floor slightly. It was followed by footsteps down the stairs as he was met by his brother.

Something was immediately off. He turned around as he heard One walk towards him.

One was firmly gripping the neck of a green glass bottle in his right hand. His face and hair were damp. His movement was jerky as if he were having muscle spasms.

Two felt his heart sink and opened his mouth to say something- but before he could manage, One took a powerful swing at his brother's head with his bottle. He ducked just in time to avoid it as it crashed into the fish tank, fracturing the glass and causing a leak, but not a full break. The bottle however bursted into shards of glass as its contents poured over Two, who slipped and fell to the ground against the wall, cutting his palm on the broken glass. Paralyzed from fear, his eyes stung too much to open them. A steady stream of water from the tank slowly dripped over him. One dominantly put his foot on his brother's lower stomach, who struggled to find the strength to open his eyes and certainly did not have plans to struggle against him. He took the opportunity to make sure he was calm and collected.

Slowly he found the strength to open his eyes. Water still slowly poured out from the tank over Two as he looked up at his brother without moving his head, but avoided looking at his face. One didn't budge from where he was standing.

"I'm sorry. Maybe we both have different ideas of what's best for you." Two had a talent for sounding sincere, and he used it to his advantage around strangers, but he was always wholeheartedly sincere with his brother. Nearly every word said to his him is carefully and meticulously thought out as if they were the last words he'd have the opportunity to say. He considered the possibility of that actually being the case here as he continued on.

"I don't know how to cope with our differences since we went so long without having any. I don't know if you need help or if you have everything under control." He paused and inhaled as quietly as he could before continuing.

"I have your best interests at heart. Whatever you want from me, let's hear it."

One's voice shook as he mustered up a reply.  
"You're trying to kill me."

Two slowly lifted his head up to look at his brother in an attempt to better read him before responding.

On eye contact, One immediately looked away, gritting his teeth and sobbing before grabbing his face in an attempt to conceal it, as if the eye contact had broken him. He otherwise stayed where he was, and so did his brother. He dug the heel of his boot into Two's stomach, who was adamant about not reacting, as the pain still paled in comparison to the burning in his eyes.

"I won't mess with your things. If there's anything you want, name it."

After a few moments, One seemed satisfied with the answer and slowly backed away. His brother stayed where he was, gaze still fixed on his face, trying to determine if he was acting on withdrawal or if he was under the influence of something new. Unfortunately, if it were withdrawal, chances are he wouldn't be calming down like he appeared to be.

Without moving an inch, Two watched his brother as he backed away, turned around and went back upstairs. He moved slowly and carefully, as if he was about to collapse from exhaustion. The stinging of the cut in Two's palm kicked in shortly after as he contemplated what he should do now. Within moments, the tenseness of the situation dissolved and left him too exhausted to walk. The water level in the tank had dropped low enough for it to stop leaking, but as a result the floor was an absolute mess of glass, blood, water and an indistinguishable, sweet smelling liquor. He'd get it sorted tomorrow, but for now, he wanted nothing more than to end the night and sleep.


	4. coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the next day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter! Figured it would make the most sense to end it where I did, rather than combining it with what will be the 5th chapter

Two awoke in his bedroom with a pulsing headache. Bright sunlight washed over the dark grey carpet and white furnishings, making the headache worse. He ran his hand over his face as he struggled to open his eyes. Sitting up slowly, he noted the smears of blood on his sheets and pillow, recounting the events of the night before. He'd hoped he would have woken up to find out it was just a bad dream, but he remembered the events crystal clear. His stomach hurt, his joints hurt and he felt disgusting. He quietly hauled himself off to the bathroom.

He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror with mild disgust. His hair was dry and clumped together, skin peeling off his face in places. Taking some supplies out of the cabinet, he carefully washed the laceration on his hand and bandaged it up. He lifted his shirt to find a discoloured bruise on his lower stomach.

With an indifferent sigh, he washed himself up best he could. He took a hot shower in hopes of easing his aching body, put his hair up in a towel and prepared to go downstairs.

Down on the second floor, his brother was overseeing a man repairing the fish tank. The fish looked like they were safely transported to a smaller tank while the glass wall of the large tank was replaced. Since the tank was around 400 gallons and inside the wall, taking it out and replacing it would be a lot harder than having it repaired. Most of the mess from yesterday had been cleaned up. The man doing the repairs nodded politely at him and One turned his head to face him with a placid, unmoved expression but did not otherwise move. He looked fine, as if nothing happened last night and he'd slept it all off.

"There's coffee downstairs in the kitchen." One said, vacantly looking his brother in the eye for a moment before returning his attention to the repairs.

He sluggishly made his way down to the kitchen. Looking over at the clock he was surprised to see it was only about eleven in the morning- this made him wonder how long his brother had been up before him. He'd assumed it would have been at least a few hours later than it was. He put together a cup of coffee and groggily sat on the sofa, not knowing what to do with himself. He was composed, but directionless, clueless of how to deal with the situation by his lonesome. Head still pounding, he took the towel out of his hair, immediately making him feel light headed. He turned on the television, put his head back and closed his eyes.

Some time passed as he sat half asleep, exhausted and tuning out everything around him until he heard footsteps make their way downstairs and into the kitchen. He kept his eyes closed as a few minutes passed, zoning back out in an attempt to mind his own business.

After some more time passed, he felt a set of fingers run through his hair from behind him. He kept his eyes closed, but let out a small sigh of contentedness as it continued.

"You'd look good in a ponytail." One spoke softly and ran his fingers through his brother's hair a few more times, smiled thoughtfully, then returned upstairs to see how the repairs were going.

Relieved, Two pinched the bridge of his nose and smiled to himself as most of the stress immediately left his body. Just a signal that things were okay here and now was good enough for him, especially when he didn't know what to expect after last night. Maybe his brother didn't remember what happened, maybe the conflict wasn't over, but for the moment, everything was okay.


	5. wounded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A relaxing day out is finished with signs of PTSD

 

Later the same day after the tank had been repaired and everything cleaned up, Two insisted on taking his brother out of the house for coffee and lunch. It was mid spring- it was the time of the year where you could go out in a t-shirt one day and have to wear a coat the next. Today it was fair out, but Two brought a coat in case the weather took a turn for the worse. He was usually better prepared for bad weather than his brother was- who was wearing a casual t-shirt and shorts. Sometimes they wore matching outfits and sometimes they didn't, there wasn't really a reason or rhyme to what constituted when they did or not. Most of their clothing was shared, but they did have some differing fashion tastes and brand preferences, so they had separate closets as well.

They rarely left the house by foot- usually only leaving to go to clubs and fashion shows, and that was always by taxi. As a defense mechanism and result of their experiences, they'd both acquired a very strong superiority complex over time. Adventuring into public places was usually nothing but a bitter novelty for them. They liked to watch and judge the commonfolk around them, quietly coming up with backstories about them, imagining how pathetic and lonely they must be. In a sense the twins were completely free- they didn't care what anyone thought about them and nothing could make them care. One was good at detecting when people were staring at them, often instigating fights that his brother would have to stop. They may not have cared what people thought, but they didn't like the idea they were being analyzed in the same way they analyzed others.

They stopped in at a fancy coffee shop on the corner of two busy streets.

While Two usually ordered something easy and simple, his brother tended to experiment and try very specific things, more often than not getting in an argument with the barista under the assumption his order was wrong without even trying it yet. It happened today as well- his brother smiled empathetically and looked away out the window pretending not to pay attention to the scene One was making. Despite this, he found it charming that One would so passionately make such a fuss out of something that would be insignificant in an hour. It was an endearing quality to him.

They wound up switching drinks with each other shortly after leaving the shop, after One decided he didn't like what he'd ordered. Unable to decide on a proper place to have a meal, they settled on going domestic and dropping in a fast food joint.

Sitting down to eat, they watched people and talked amongst themselves happily about what kind of sad lives everyone lived based on what they ordered and who they were here with, if anyone. They felt they'd earned the right to judge everyone around them- and they did no harm to anyone in doing so. They lived to please no one but each other, having no obligations to care what anyone else thought. It was a fulfilling experience for Two to look over and see his brother laugh to himself, especially after the recent events. They had always gotten along great, but Two took it for granted more often than not and he was going to change that, to stop and appreciate his brother having a good time, to live in the moment.

They wound up losing track of time and it was getting dark by the time they got around to leaving- and as a result the temperature dropped considerably. Two took off his jacket and gave it to his brother, who was often more susceptible to getting sick due to his presumably weaker immune system. Though the boys were the same size, One always felt like his brother's clothes were a few sizes larger than his own.

The streets were as loud and busy as they were before it started to get dark. Much like their small gated community, it seemed that things never settled down here either.

They lived on the very border of the city, about a 30 minute walk away. Thanks to solicitation laws in their area, the walk back was refreshingly quiet. They didn't mind the noise and crowds in moderation, but they had limits- One's limits were considerably lower than his brother's despite him being more stubborn, so Two was usually the one who decided it was time to go home when they'd been out for a while.

In the past, One had bouts of silent breakdowns when he'd been pushed to his limits. Though they were okay with public spaces most of the time, he didn't react well to being shoved or touched regardless of if it were on accident or not. He didn't appreciate people trying to start conversations with him and so his brother would usually answer for him, politely try to end the conversation, and move on. As time went on they'd both adapted well to going out, though One developed a short temper to go alongside it. To his brother this was a good thing and more desirable than the breakdowns he'd had previously. Until Two was more familiar with his brother's breakdowns, it was horrifying for him to look over and see his brother shaking and unresponsive, being reminiscent of when they'd watched their manager drop dead from a heart attack in front of them. By the time Two knew to get them both home when it happened, his brother had started handling himself better and the frequency of the attacks dropped until they were nonexistent.

His brother had learned to handle himself much better as time went on. It was strange to think that they used to be identical, only to be changed in different ways by the same events. Nearly every every experience they had was shared with one another, but they both came out of it differently. They were still as close as ever, but Two wondered if something he wasn't aware of had caused their differences.

The walk back was made mostly in enjoyable silence until they got to the main gate. Without fail you could always hear screaming and arguing coming from the houses around theirs. They chuckled to themselves about it- sometimes it was like they lived in a zoo.

The sound stopped once they got home - the house was always quiet and detached from the rest of the neighborhood, but it never felt lonely. Someone could get shot outside and they wouldn't notice.

Two decided on catching a bath to combat the cold while One sat down in the living room to watch television.

The master bathroom was up on the second floor- and was about half the size of the entire floor itself. The far wall was made of glass panels that overlooked a neglected patio area. They spent a fair amount of time outside when the weather was nice, but despite having a fire pit outside, it was still too cold to enjoy it for a good portion of the year. To the left of the glass panels was a corner bath- and along the left wall were dual sinks with an impressive light setup. A separate shower and cabinets were along the right wall. Black tile floors, white walls with everything else being a matching shade of black.

Two sank into the bath to realize the laceration he'd given himself yesterday didn't hurt anymore- it was unsightly and discoloured, and the water made it look even worse, but aside from being an eyesore, he'd completely forgotten about it. Unfortunately in seeing it, he briefly relived last night's events as a result. Everything seemed alright now, but that could change at any time- perhaps his brother didn't even remember what happened. They hadn't talked about it, and he wanted to give the impression that he was over it and it was behind them.

He decided to tend to the fish once he was done- he hadn't actually seen the tank after it was repaired.

It looked like some of the decorations had been replaced with different ones, the filtration system moved around a little, but everything looked the same as it did prior to the accident. Tropical fish were hard to transport and often fickle about their environment, but it looked like all the large and important fish had made it. They had eventually wanted to replace the tank with a larger one, as the wall was quite large and bare, but they probably wouldn't get to that for a while.

"There's some new ones in there too."

Two hadn't heard his brother approach him- and as a result he'd panicked and just about tripped over his own feet turning around to meet him, half falling back against the floor. Taking a deep breath to try and compose himself, he slid down against the wall and sat, holding onto his knees, hiding his face in one hand.

Involuntarily he reacted according to how last night went, fearing the worst. Feeling vulnerable, he ran a hand down his face before burying his head in his arms and letting out a small nervous and defeated chuckle, clearly embarrassed by what happened. Unsure what to do at first, his brother watched him nervously for a moment before squatting down in front of him, putting his hand on his arm. Two jumped at the sensation and One drew back, nervously swallowing as the full extent of what he'd done had now set in, but not knowing otherwise how to handle it.

Two silently took a deep breath, not wanting to show his face or talk until he'd recovered. Crying or having a breakdown was not something he ever planned on doing in front of his brother. One watched him painfully with uncertainty, giving him the time he needed to compose himself. He let out a shaky, involuntary sigh. Eventually Two slowly put his head up. His face was red, and he avoided eye contact with his brother, but he smiled defeatedly and let himself relax.

One drew in an audible breath in preparation to speak, hoping to avoid surprising his brother.

"I know what I've done." One spoke softly and directly, looking at his brother, hoping his brother would look back. This was one of the first times he'd been in a position where he knew he'd done something wrong, and while he wanted to address it sincerely, he didn't know how. He remembered what he'd done the previous night as clearly as his brother did, and while they both hoped never to bring it up and just move on from it, it had clearly affected Two too much for either of them to overlook it. Showing any sign of weakness was embarrassing for Two, and he had wanted to play it off like it was nothing, but the situation was hard to emotionally recover from.

Slowly, One reached for his brother's wounded hand, carefully looking it over before holding it in his own. He squeezed his brother's hand gently as if to recognize what he'd done, but still couldn't find the words to say. His eyebrow involuntarily twitched as he directed his gaze back to his brother's face, who was still looking away and forcing a patient smile. After a few moments his brother reciprocated the action and squeezed his hand back, with a genuine but weak smile.

"You've always had softer skin than me." Two spoke gently to his brother, who said nothing in reply but let his expression ease up a little. Sighing, he carefully got to his feet and helped his brother up as well.

"I'm sorry," Two's voice shook and he swallowed involuntarily as he felt a lump in his throat. "I'm embarrassing. This was embarrassing." He ran his hand down his face in an effort to compose himself before looking over at his brother.

"Everything's fine though. I never meant to cause a fuss." Two inhaled deeply before continuing. "Do what you need to do. At the end of the day, I understand you as well as you understand yourself."

One slowly walked over to the pool table and leaned into it, his back to his brother, tapping his finger impatiently as if frantically trying to think of the right response.

He knew he had a problem with medications but at the end of the day he couldn't promise his brother that he could do anything about it. Like last night, he wasn't in control of the situation as a whole. Though he couldn't forgive himself for trying to hurt his brother, he couldn't guarantee it wouldn't happen again.

"That's the problem then," He paused before continuing to make sure he could continue his thoughts in an understandable manner. "We both know it could all happen again."

"I would never want to hurt you, I never intended on doing so, but it could happen again."

"And that's why it's okay. It's not you doing it- and it's over and done with." Two stood back and watched his brother with uncertainty. He was alright and ready for this to be all behind him, and admittedly was just trying to say the right things so his brother would feel the same.

One bent further over the pool table and sighed impatiently, angry with himself and trying to collect his thoughts. "I'm sorry. I think I'm done."

Frustrated and trying to be as coherent as possible, he tapped on the pool table and tried gathering his thoughts.

"I think I should go to bed. I think I'm done. It's hard for me to have this conversation because I don't want to take myself or anything else seriously. I'll try my best not to let that effect you for the worse."

Without waiting for a reply, One slowly made his way up the stairs and put himself away in his room. Unsure about the situation, Two decided it was what it was and that he wasn't going to worry about it any more.

Hopefully in the morning his brother would do the same.


	6. drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys go out for drinks

They fell back into their normal routines as the days passed, happily going on as if nothing happened. They'd decided on going out to a club tonight as they often did.

Going out to clubs was mostly a novelty for the twins. They didn't enjoy spending a lot of time in public and had no qualms about drinking alone at home, but on occasion they did like getting dressed up and going out for drinks instead. For them it was a delicate balance between the desire to sit around looking pretty and important, and being left alone to enjoy each other's company rather than the people around them.

Though they exclusively went to high class places, their outfits and jewelry were usually worth more than what most people there would earn in a year.

They had a private cab drop them off at the club they were going to tonight. The routine ID and bag checks always irritated One more than his brother as he didn't like his things being messed with or his privacy invaded. Laws in most of these places would require attendees' bags to be checked for weapons. One always kept pepper spray in his purse for self defense, but neither had owned weapons. They'd used to go to clubs that would pat you down before you could enter, but One had gotten sick of that kind of violation quickly and they stayed away from those places now.

As usual, club staff would escort them inside to their table after their bags and ID checked out, then they'd sit together and order drinks, watching people walk by but making sure to look disinterested to avoid conversation as much as possible. They weren't there for the reasons everyone else was, they weren't looking to get laid, to dance, to meet new people or let people buy them drinks. They both wanted to be left alone together. People who frequent the club knew this, but there were always new people set on pestering them as well.

They both tended to have sweet, fruity drinks, but Two tried new things more often than his brother, who seemed to be more picky about what he drank when he was out versus when they'd drink at the house. At home, they had about a full bar's worth of liquor and just about any kind of it. One tended to dislike beers, neither of them touched wine. Just about anything else was fair game.

Alcohol tended to have different effects on them. One would usually get irritable and more antisocial if they weren't at home, while his brother would wind up getting tired and more touchy than usual. Two generally held his liquor better as well, usually completely withstanding the effects of it far after his brother hit his limits.

They chatted with each other as time went on, ordering more drinks and watching the people around them. One had gotten to the point where if they were talking about someone within eyesight he'd wind up pointing at them, and Two would have to cover his brother's hands with his own and hope no one saw. If people weren't here trying to hook up and having a good time, they were here to instigate fights, and they wanted nothing to do with either. One would have no problem starting a fight, but there were only so many places they could get thrown out of before it was a chore to find new clubs. They could buy their way back in, but some places were more unforgiving than others, prioritizing the safety of their members.

After so many drinks, Two had gotten to the point that if anyone looked over at them he'd smile and give them a wave. One would tell him to knock it off and he'd apologize only to do it again mere minutes later. It was uncommon for Two to reach the point that he'd obviously had enough to drink.

He'd attracted the attention of people a few times doing this. A man came over and sat across from them. One stared him straight in the eye while his brother smiled, propping his head up with his hands.

"No. Leave." One snapped his fingers and gestured rudely away from the table in an attempt to shoo the man away, who chuckled smugly to himself in disbelief as he got back up and walked away.

"Bitch." He said before he was out of earshot. Two softly gasped and looked over at his brother with concern.

"He called you a bitch." He waited for some sort of response from his brother, who was growing a bit irritated- not irritated with his brother, but irritated with being out too long and moody from drinking.

"I don't think you're a bitch." Looking tragically distressed, Two was demonstrating he'd had entirely too much to drink at this point. Usually it was his brother who hit his limit first, so his brother didn't quite know how to handle it. Deciding it was time to go, he reached into his purse for his phone and arranged a cab home via text.

"Oh, can we call dad? We haven't talked to him in a while."

One put his phone down as he sighed impatiently in response and blankly stared off into the distance.

"We haven't talked to our father in years because he _hates_ us."

"Oh yeah."

As they got up to go catch their cab home, it became obvious One was going to have to help his brother out, taking his wrist and carefully guiding him out the front door of the club. The last thing he needed was for him to stumble and make a scene. He wasn't strong enough to carry his brother out if need be, but he'd be damned to let anyone else do it either.

Their cab was outside waiting for them by the time they got there. It took a bit of effort for One to help his brother into the back seat, but they got there eventually and were off.

Usually they had the cab drop them off at the front gates, but Two was not in walking shape and One didn't trust himself to guide his brother the walk home, afraid of him hurting himself. Instead Two opened the gates and had the cab drop them off in front of their house. Technically it was illegal for non-residential vehicles to enter without a permit, but worst case scenario they get slapped with a fee and told to get a permit or to not do it again.

One sighed patiently as he guided his incoherent brother into the house, who happily collapsed on the living room floor as soon as he could. One squatted down next to him to make sure he was okay, shaking his shoulder gently.

"I literally can't carry you. Please get up."

Two sluggishly rolled over to lie on his stomach and looked up at his brother, smiling. After a few moments he sighed, managing to get up and kneel after struggling to do so, his brother pulling him up by the arm and helping him walk to the sofa where he dramatically collapsed backwards and laughed silently. One walked behind the sofa and looked down at his brother, who smiled up at him in response.

"Hey... I know we go out all the time, but I had a great time with you tonight." Two paused for a second before continuing as his brother grabbed the television remote off the table and turned the television on, sitting on the sofa adjacent to him. One smiled to himself as he scanned channels restlessly. Two repositioned himself to lie on his stomach, arms folded under his head, turned to face his brother.

"I mean... you never know what's going to happen in the future. One of us could die, or we could both die."

One sighed awkwardly at the thought, still scanning through television channels to distract himself.

"Is that so?"

"I just meant I need to appreciate everything more while I still have it." He paused and watched his brother, who was still flicking through channels mindlessly.

"Are you listening to me?"

One sighed and lowered the remote before nodding nervously in response. He wasn't suited for these kind of conversations but he didn't know how to avoid them either.

"Oh... I kind of wish you weren't." Two thoughtfully watched his brother before realizing what he was saying. "I didn't mean anything by it. I just get scared that after all we've been through, we might not get a chance to recover."

"Everything's fine. Nothing and no one's going to change that." One forced a reassuring smile for his brother, who smiled back and sighed with relief, pleased with the response, before closing his eyes and almost immediately falling asleep.

After waiting a while to make sure his brother was knocked out for the night, One turned the television off and left for his room.


	7. interfering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two stops something bad from happening to his brother
> 
> warnings for semi graphic emetophobia and related stuff

Two woke in his room from a light sleep- enough light coming through the curtain to be able to see, but too early for the sun to be up. A small fan on his desk blew directly into his face as he groggily tried to part his hair away from his eyes, but his hair stuck to his forehead, making it difficult. He had a habit of getting overheated at night and turning on the fan in his sleep, and as a result he feared he'd sleepwalk as well, but he never seemed to, always waking up where he remembered going to bed. His bed was in the far right corner of his room and there was a gap between it and his desk. When he turned on his fan he'd have to get up to do it, but he still never remembered doing so.

On the other side of his room he had a separate computer desk with dual screens. The twins had lightly gotten into gaming- namely esports and mobas, but both had tired of them quickly. Downstairs they'd had a closet for entertainment goods as well- game consoles, movies and the like. They'd watch an occasional movie but video games never clicked with them.

He sat upright and let the fan blow into his face for a while to dry off before stretching and getting up to part the window curtains and look outside.

He missed the warmer weather when they could relax out in the patio. He'd taken up a bit of gardening since they had a home and at one point had an impressive collection of plants, but not having a dedicated space to move them to in the winter resulted in them all dying from the cold. He planned on replacing them soon and setting up an environment where they'd be safe in the colder months.

In a month's time it would be warm enough to light a fire in the fire pit and relax outside. Weather permitting, they'd sit outside by the fire all night, smoking and talking about places they wanted to go, things they wanted to see. Little by little Two had given up smoking of any kind as it no longer had effects on him unless it was done infrequently. As his brother turned to abusing prescription drugs, he also cut back on smoking, but still did it frequently enough.

They also had a hot tub out in their patio, but they rarely used it.

He sighed, running his hand back through his hair before heading downstairs.

One was on the living room sofa, laying on his stomach, head hanging off the side.

"Hey..." Two said softly, unsure of if his brother was awake or not, but he received no reply. He quietly put on a pot of coffee before carefully going over to check on One, sitting down on the floor next to his head to be at eye level with him. Two shook his brother's shoulder gently, who in response frowned and opened his eyes slightly, but didn't otherwise move and remained silent. After a few moments, One slowly looked over at his brother and smiled faintly. Two sympathetically returned the gesture and swallowed nervously.

"Are you okay?" Two waited patiently but received no response. Still smiling, One shut his eyes again.

Two got to his feet and gently repositioned his brother's head to not be hanging over the side of the sofa. It wasn't hard to imagine how much his neck would hurt from staying like that for too long. Feeling a little lightheaded from worrying, he sighed, got a cup of coffee then returned to sit on the sofa adjacent to his brother. He turned on the television to distract himself, but kept his attention on One. He didn't understand why his brother would come and sleep downstairs, so it always worried him. After recent events, Two automatically assumed the worst.

A few hours passed with no change. The sun had risen by now. Two got up nervously and sat on the floor next to his brother, shaking his shoulder gently again, waiting a few moments, then shaking it again.

"Time to get up."

One stirred slightly and opened his eyes, tiredly staring off into the distance before looking over at his brother with mild confusion.

"What is it?"

Two sighed with relief and collected his thoughts.

"Why do you come down here to sleep?"

"I don't remember coming down here." One blankly looked his brother in the eye for a few moments, then his expression softened and he closed his eyes again. Mildly frustrated, Two shook him again. One half heartedly tried to shoo him away.

"Come on, I'm tired." He frowned and turned away from Two, burying his face in the corner of the sofa. Defeated, Two returned to the other sofa, crossing his legs and switching on the news channel and trying to convince himself he was worried for nothing.

A bit into the evening Two decided to put a soup on - cooking helped him when he was feeling restless or anxious, and he'd gotten quite good at it since they moved in. It was one of the few hobbies he didn't really share with his brother. One had been prone to accidentally cutting himself and burning food, but he'd always laugh about it later. Even if kitchen work wasn't his forte, it was still fun for them to try and cook something together on occasion.

One stretched and slowly rolled around to face the television, opening his eyes but wincing until he was used to the light. Half awake, he curled up with his head on the arm of the sofa and tried to get comfortable. After Two was done tending to the stove, he fixed himself a drink, downed it and returned to the living room, sighing in relief to see his brother awake.

"Good morning." Two sat back down and looked over at his brother, who yawned and slowly stretched in response. Two leaned forward to gently feel his brother's forehead- thankfully it was cool. He'd started to worry that One had gotten sick but that didn't seem to be the case. One smiled slightly but otherwise seemed unphased by the gesture.

After a while he changed his position to sit upright on his knees. Two brought both of them a bowl of soup once it was finished cooking. They watched television mostly in silence - One looked alright, he didn't seem very keen on conversation, but he acted fine otherwise.

As the sun went down, One shifted around and slowly got up on his feet, making his way for the stairs without a word. Two watched expectantly.

"Where are you going?"

"To bed. Tired." One very slowly and carefully made his way upstairs as his brother watched in confusion, unsure of how to respond or what to do. During the few hours One had been awake, he had barely said a word and hadn't gotten up at all.

Two waited for a few minutes, expecting his brother to come back downstairs. When he did not, Two went up to check on him.

He took deep breaths as he went up to the third floor, trying to calm himself down.

One had left his door half open and his desk light on. As a gesture, Two knocked gently on it. After receiving no response, he open the door far enough to see his brother standing over his desk, arms shaking as if they were about to give out. A few empty pill bottles were knocked off onto the floor.

Unfortunately this was an image that would be ingrained in Two's mind forever. Before he could react, Two puts his arms around his brother from behind and dragged him to the spare bathroom that was across from their bedrooms. Kneeling down on the tile floor with him, Two forced his brother's mouth open and slid his fingers down his throat in attempt to get him to throw up everything he swallowed. Though weak, One struggled and clawed at his brother's arm, digging his nails into him, trying to get him to stop. Two's arms and torso had gone numb and he was shaking as much as his brother was at this point. _This couldn't be happening._

One seemed to regain strength to fight back as moments passed, but his brother was not going to give up. One bit down on his brother's fingers hoping he'd recoil, but he did not. Two grit his teeth and buried his face in the back of his brother's shoulder, who continued to fight him, trying to push him away, violently clawing at his arms, trying to bend his fingers backwards. One struggled, screaming incomprehensibly at his brother to let him die.

The moments felt like hours. Eventually One lost the fight, heaving and spilling the contents of his stomach onto the bathroom tile, weakly clawing at his brother, who was still sobbing into his shoulder and shaking uncontrollably. Losing energy and the will to fight back, he sobbed, making a pathetic attempt to pull his brother's hand out of his mouth and away from his face, pleading with him to let him die with a desperate, raspy cry. He heaved again, only liquids this time. His breathing slowed as he stopped fighting and went limp.

Two carefully withdrew his hand from his brother's mouth, hyperventilating, hoping what was happening was a nightmare he'd wake up from at any moment. He held his unconscious brother as tight as possible, afraid to face what happened. His entire body was numb from fear. He worked up the courage to open his eyes, horrified at the sight of what looked like an entire bottle of various pills vomited up on the ground in front of them. If this would have happened minutes later than it did, he might not have had the chance to stop his brother.

His hand had a real number done on it- his brother biting him hard enough to tear his skin and make him bleed multiple times over in multiple places. The blood was everywhere, Two hoped it was only from his hand.

Still clutching his brother, he held an ear to him to make sure he was breathing correctly. One's breathing had slowed to a normal pace. In an attempt to stop shaking, Two took deep breaths, helplessly resting his head against his brother's back while trying to decide on the best thing to do now.

He didn't know if or how they'd rebound from this, or what his brother would think when he regained consciousness.

Once he had stopped shaking and was stable, he gently lifted his brother up and away from the mess on the floor, bringing him downstairs to the living room. He was a mess- they both were. Drenched in sweat and dried fluids. Two cleaned his brother up to the best of his ability. It was painful to look at him like this.

Two sat down on the floor, hugging his knees next to the sofa he'd put his brother on, mentally and physically exhausted. As the hours passed and the night went on, he'd frequently check his brother's pulse and breathing, never taking his eyes off him. He rested his head on the sofa, drained of all emotion, not knowing what to expect when his brother woke up. One might not remember what happened, or he might literally kill him, or he might not wake up at all. There wasn't a best case scenario for this situation.

One's eyebrow twitched before turning into a frown, wincing before struggling to open his eyes. His brother watched motionless, blankly, drained of all energy and not knowing what was going to happen next.

One looked down at his brother, still sitting on the floor in the same place and same position as he'd been earlier. He put a hand over his eyes and smiled, then started laughing quietly to himself.

"What's funny?" Two's voice shook as he asked. One covered his face with his hands and laughed quietly. His brother watched him nervously as he continued. Still smiling, he broke into hysterics, still covering his face with his hands.

"What? What's funny?" A mix of frustrated and terrified, he watched as tears rolled down his brother's obscured face. He sat up and tried to pull One's hands away from his face, but One resisted, and he didn't have the energy to fight him on this. He waited patiently for him to calm down.

"I hurt you." One's voice was raspy and almost inaudible. It clearly hurt him physically to speak.

"I hurt you." One repeated himself desperately before sobbing and clutching his face.

"Everything's alright now. It's alright," Desperately wanting to put this behind them both, Two tried to console this brother. He wanted to believe this wouldn't happen again. From now on he'd be scared to enter a room and see his brother unconscious on the floor, but for now and in this moment, he wanted them both to believe everything was alright.

"It's alright." He repeated himself softly. "Get some rest. If you need anything don't hesitate to let me know."

He made another attempt to move One's hands from his face. One was more compliant this time, not putting up a fight. His forehead was hot and he was clearly exhausted and he avoided eye contact with his brother.

Two smiled as he studied his brother's face. It was a dark day for both of them, but they were alive, whether they wanted to be or not.

"I don't know what there is to talk about that we both don't already know, and I won't make you talk if you don't want to," Two paused and swallowed, voice trembling.

"... But if there's anything I can ever do to help you, then let me help you."

One stared off into the distance, consciously avoiding eye contact, and didn't reply. Two stood up and went to get his brother a bottle of water and a blanket.

By the time he'd come back, his brother was back asleep. He gently put the blanket over him, noting how much more peaceful he looked now. Relieved and happy with how things turned out all things considered, he sat and kept careful watch of his brother as he recovered his strength.

 


	8. just going

 

Two kept a watchful eye over his brother as he showed steady signs of recovering. One wasn’t too keen on his brother making such a big fuss over him, but didn’t have the strength to contest him either. Neither of them had the courage to talk about what had happened, but they both knew what happened, and apparently that was enough.

Over the course of a few days, One steadily gained the majority of his strength back. To an extent, his brother was scared this meant he was on his way to make the same mistakes all over again. He could not bring himself to go through with any more ordeals like what he witnessed the other night. For several days after, he wore gloves to cover up where his brother had torn his hand apart. Every time he saw the wounds, he was forced to relive what happened.

Ever since the previous night, Two had developed some detrimental nervous habits- he was scared to leave his room, scared to go down or upstairs- scared he’d enter a room and see his brother unconscious. This only worsened as his brother became well enough to take care of himself again and did not need Two watching over him.

Two would lie awake in bed, unable to sleep for most of the night. He’d stay in his room well into the midday before coming out, scared of what he may see. One caught on to what was happening and would knock on his brother’s door, inviting him downstairs to watch a movie or to cook dinner together- indirect ways of saying “hey, see, I’m okay”. The gestures were welcome to Two.

It had been about a week since the ordeal. Aside from being a little low on energy, One had all but made a complete recovery. His brother’s hand was still slightly bruised but other than that it had healed as well, and he stopped covering it up in an attempt to put the past behind him and move on.

  
Two was finally able to sleep at night peacefully again. As the sun came up, he heard a knock on his door.

“Wake up, we’re going out.”

Generally being a light sleeper, he rolled out of bed without hesitation to open the door - but his brother had already made his way back downstairs, obviously on blind faith that Two would have woken up easily.

He made his way downstairs to find out what his brother wanted. One met him in the kitchen with a sheepish smile, pacing and brushing his hair, but stopping to look at him.

“What? Go on, get dressed.” One gestured back upstairs. Bemused, Two turned around and made his way back upstairs.

“Where are we going?” he said before he was out of hearing range.

“I don’t know, we’re just going. It’ll be fun.”

They met back downstairs a few minutes later in matching outfits. Two looked at his brother expectantly and amused, waiting for an explanation, but he was out the front door already.

They walked to the city bus station, paid for tickets and boarded a bus. The bus was packed and they had to stand up until the bus had let enough passengers up to free up two seats next to each other. One sighed nervously and fidgeted with his hands. Two knew he wasn’t a fan of being in crowded spaces too long- and he wasn’t either, but he was better at keeping his composure than his brother was.

“Where are we going?” Two must have asked four or five times now with no real answer, but it made his brother smile when he asked, so he continued to ask.

“We’re just... just going.” Despite tapping his leg nervously as he spoke, he sounded confident and positive. “Let’s just have a good day for once.”

“You know any time you want to go somewhere, you can just say so, right?” Two looked down at his bruised hand, pleased that he no longer relived the circumstances that hurt him. Time tends to heal all wounds.

“I mean we can do anything,” he continued. “you want to go somewhere specific or do something and we’ll make it happen. We can do that.”

After a few cramped hours, One decided this was their stop. They departed into a bus station notably more crowded than the one they left, but the crowds quickly dispersed into the buses. One sighed, confident he’d picked the right place to get off. Looking back at the bus, it must have just gained double the passengers it let off just now. He didn’t do well with crowded environments at the best of times, much less so when there was no way to escape the situation until it was over.

They walked out into very strong sunlight, guessing it must have been a bit before noon now. It looked like a city comparable to their own, but more scenic, everything spread farther apart.

They ducked into a small cafe for coffee and a salad, sitting at a small table near the window, quietly enjoying the sunlight and watching the people who walked past. Two was tired and sluggish, but it was a distinctively better and different kind of tired than what he’d been used to. A peaceful and calm tired. He looked across the small table to his brother and smiled to himself. His brother didn’t notice.

They walked around the city for a while, enjoying the change in scenery, before deciding on visiting an aquarium they’d come across.

In the past they’d enjoyed sightseeing a fair bit, but had lost interest as time went on and their environment grew stale to them. The aquarium they’d visited was fairly large and fancy looking- and quite crowded. They stuck together, pointing out different fish and reading the information plaques with genuine interest, having a good time, despite the crowds. Things would go quiet, then groups of people with tour guides would come through, and they’d both get a little nervous until the groups moved on to the next section.

For no discernible reason, One reached out and grabbed his brother’s hand to hold it in his. Two waited for a few seconds for some sort of explanation, taken aback by the gesture, before looking over to see his brother preoccupied reading one of the signs in front of them and otherwise proceeding as they were before. Two didn’t reciprocate the action, and unsure if he should acknowledge it, he just let it happen without saying anything.

The crowds had mostly dissipated at this point, so One was visibly more relaxed, but still kept his brother’s hand in his as they went room to room.

Two found it increasingly harder to concentrate on his surroundings as they continued through the aquarium, just sort of smiling and nodding at whatever his brother said. One seemed happy, that’s all that was worth concentrating on.

Since the crowds seemed to have come and gone, they leisurely took their time enjoying the rest of the aquarium at their own pace, Two letting his brother guide him along by the hand.

The sun was going down by the time they were finished- and unlike where they lived, the city seemed to die down a little after dark. It was quieter and nearly deserted compared to home. One finally let go of his brother’s hand as they left the aquarium and searched for somewhere to get dinner.

Apparently the city only died down because everyone had packed into restaurants for dinner. They struggled to find a place without reservations, and when they did, they were still stuck waiting for a table in the waiting area.

One fidgeted uncomfortably- his brother wasn’t sure if he was upset with waiting or upset from being around so many crowded places. The building was deafening enough where they’d have to speak uncomfortably loudly to hear one another, so they sat in silence, Two shooting his brother a reassuring smile every so often.

It took approximately an hour for their table to be ready. The restaurant was quieter than the front waiting room, but still full of chatter nonetheless. They were escorted to a table and sat across from one another awkwardly, realizing it probably would have been a better decision to get food when they got home, and that it wasn’t worth the hassle to be here. They both had limits on social activities- not that they were social people, but they did not do well around lots of people for extended periods of time. One would smile nervously at his brother as if to say “I’m fine, I’m doing fine”- and Two was relieved and proud of him for doing so.

They were done and out of there in a fraction of the time they had spent waiting. It was completely dark by the time they were done. Leisurely, they made their way back to the bus station. The buses ran into the early morning hours, so there wasn’t a rush on catching one.

The station was nearly empty, and much to their liking, so was their bus. They took their seats and the bus departed a few minutes after.

Long trips were enjoyable to them so long as they weren’t cramped into a small space with a lot of other people. Trips like these they could reflect on and appreciate being alone together.

Two felt himself zoning out constantly. This was the most relaxed he’d been in recent memory without drinking or medication. He felt like everything was falling into place and that their hardships were all behind them. He felt lucky to have his brother still with him after all that had happened.

“You doing okay?”

“... Yeah,” Two replied softly. “Just tired.” He consistently nodded off, only to be awakened by sudden stops and the sounds of the traffic around them. Eventually he got accustomed to the noise and fell asleep for the rest of the ride.

His brother squeezed his shoulder gently when the bus came to their stop to wake him up. Half asleep, One guided him off the bus back into the station.

It must have been past midnight, but their city was as alive as it ever was. Nothing ever closed, no one seemed to sleep. They walked home leisurely.

Two struggled for a moment to swipe his card through the reader at the residential gate.

“You are absolutely dead on your feet.” One reassuringly gave him a gentle push in the right direction and they walked slowly home.

Home was the same kind of comforting silence it always was. Two winced when his brother turned the lamp on- his brother turned it off when he noticed, smiling empathetically.

“You staying up?” Two’s gentle tone reflected how tired he was.

“Not for long.”

Two made his way for the stairs.

“Thanks for coming with me. It was... a fun change of pace.” One spoke softly- it was strange for him to thank his brother. It was the kind of thing he’d have to rehearse in his head before saying out loud, as if it was something that would be humiliating for him.

Two smiled to himself in response. “This means I get to bring you somewhere too- hopefully when you least expect it.” He made his way upstairs to retire for what was left of the night. One stood in the darkness for a few minutes, reminiscing fondly, before calling it a night as well.


	9. the talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a heart to heart

Two awoke in the middle of the night, dehydrated and overheated, which was quickly becoming the norm for him. He’d considered sleeping with the window open, but it still got cold enough out at night to get sick and he didn’t want to risk that.

  
He exhaustedly made his way downstairs to grab a drink- usually getting out of bed for a few minutes and distracting himself before returning was enough to help him get back to bed.

He was greeted by his brother, who was sat at the kitchen table in the dark, picking at a salad. Very rarely was it too dark to see even with all the lights off, as there was always light coming in from other houses. They’d considered getting some curtains for the glass wall, but they never got around to it.

“Hey...” One said quietly as he continued to pick through his salad. “Can’t sleep?”

His brother grabbed a cup from the cabinet and filled it with ice water before responding, a little too tired to be coherent.

“No, I’m alright. I just need to get in the habit of bringing a drink with me to bed.” He put his glass down on the table and sat across from his brother, tiredly holding his head up with his hand. “Are you alright?”

One stretched his arms out and sighed, smiling unsurely at his brother’s question. Two looked over at him, expectantly waiting for a response.

“I can’t sleep.” One pulled his chair out and got up- Two didn’t turn around to see where he was going. He returned a few moments later with a glass and a bottle of liquor and sat back down. Two watched him uncertainly, not knowing if that was the end of it or if he was going to explain further. One consciously avoided eye contact as he poured himself a drink and downed it in one go. They sat in silence for a few minutes as Two zoned out, half asleep.

“Alright, uh...” One shifted awkwardly in his seat and poured himself another drink as his brother looked over at him without moving his head.

He had difficulty continuing. He had always had problems having serious conversations, and Two knew this, so he waited patiently for him to continue. He felt a bit stressed not knowing what turn the conversation was going to take- he had just wanted to come down to get a glass of water and go back to bed. Admittedly he was quite tired.

“Sometimes I don’t have the best self control.” One took a sip of his drink, and paused before sighing.

“Sorry, I don’t have this planned out. I mean, I was thinking about it...” He briefly looked up at his brother, who was listening patiently.

“I’m sorry for what I put you through.” One smiled defeatedly and looked down at his hands. “I’m going to be more careful from now on.”

“Careful how?”

One downed another drink. He really wasn’t good with serious conversations, much less when he wasn’t fully expecting to have one. He didn’t know how to respond.

“... Careful, to me, would mean to stop doing the things that you’ve been doing.” Two leaned back and crossed his arms. His brother sighed.

“I can’t. But I can moderate myself,” He finished off another drink. Two watched him unamused. “So that we’re both happy and so that I don’t make you worry again for no reason.”

Two frowned at this- the statement didn’t sit right with him. He got up to get himself a glass and poured himself a drink from the bottle on the table and leaned back again.

“You feel bad that you essentially tried to kill yourself because it made me worry for _no reason?_ ” Two tried to control his tone, fully aware that his irritation was obvious. He downed his drink and poured another, his brother watching him nervously.

“I watched you almost die. I was hoping it was behind us and that I’d never have to think about it again.”

The conversation was fueled by liquor at this point - One couldn’t even think about holding a serious conversation without it, and his brother drank when he was nervous. One didn’t know how to respond, so he didn’t. 

“What medications are you even taking? Are you still taking them?”

“Uh...” One paused to think. “I’ve got something for depression, insomnia, pain, schizophrenia... bipolar disorder...”

“You absolutely do not have half of those things,” Two abruptly got up to get a bottle off the shelf and sat back down with it before continuing.

“You absolutely do not need to be taking medications for these things.”

Two was very stressed at this point, being forced to remember what happened before and now having to worry about it happening again. He was fully aware that he might appear irritated, so he was very careful about his body language and word choice. He didn’t like being upset, he didn’t want to be upset- but he couldn’t hide it from his brother. He poured himself another drink.

“I almost broke a bottle over your head because you took them from me. I think I need them.” He watched his brother, who was staring off to the side, very obviously irritated and uncomfortable. This scared him- Two kept his composure through the worst of times. It was unsettling to see him upset, more so when he was the one that was causing it.

“Hey, come on, I’m all right now, see? Nothing excessive has to happen again. Look at me.” He smiled desperately at his brother, who looked back at him, but his expression didn’t soften. One uncomfortably pulled his gaze away and looked at the table. There were a few awkward moments of silence.

Two knew if he were truly fine he wouldn’t admit it because that’s not how he was. One thought he was fine because he was on medications, and medications are what drove this discussion.

“I don’t think you fully understand.” One paused, expecting his brother to respond, but he was met with silence.

“I think you should give up drinking. You drink a lot more than me.” The joke didn’t sit as well with Two as his brother hoped, as Two smugly took a few hearty swigs from the bottle he had in front of him in response, paused, and then downed the rest of the bottle to bitterly spite him.

“I guess I’m just not as strong as you are.” One was running out of ideas to sway the conversation in his favor.

“I can’t control what you do. I can try, and we’ll both hurt, and then you’ll find a way around it.” Two paused before continuing, clearly stressed.

“I’d rather you stop and use me as a punching bag to help you get through it. I’m fully aware of the side effects of quitting this shit, but they’re far better than having to watch you turn into someone you’re not and destroy yourself.”

Two looked him in the eye, expression unchanging.

Eyes still fixed on his brother, he slowly got up, turned around and went back up to bed for the night without another word. One watched sadly, hoping he’d come back down to console him in some way, but it didn’t happen.

The medications made it impossible to sleep. Unable and unwilling to try, One poured himself one last drink before turning on the television and sitting on the sofa, flicking through his phone trying to pass time.

Him and his brother never texted each other because they were always together, and his brother barely used his phone at all- but he texted him goodnight anyway before trying to find something on television to focus on for the rest of the night.


	10. groceries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one tries to cope with a new situation - being by himself

It was oddly quiet when One woke up- despite the sun shining through the window directly into his face, it was quite serene. He didn't remember falling asleep last night, but he was glad to get some rest. He stretched, picked himself up off the sofa and focused on how quiet it was.

It was midday, and he was alone, which was a little strange for him. He slowly made his way upstairs to find his brother, but there were no immediate signs of him.

He went up to his brother's room and knocked on the door shyly. No answer. He opened the door slowly and peaked in- his brother wasn't there.

His brother's room was very tidy, but that mostly due to it being relatively empty. Neither of them had many personal belongings, so their rooms were quite bare. Curious, he looked through his brother's desk drawers, but found nothing that surprised him. There was some stationery and notes, some clothing designs they'd both planned out but otherwise had done nothing with. He was surprised his brother had kept these. Maybe one day they'd have the ambition to make something of them. He looked out the window out at the patio- it was empty as well.

He sighed and went back downstairs to get his phone, hoping maybe his brother had texted him, as he'd prefer to reply rather than send the first message. Unfortunately he had no messages, but this didn't really surprise him- his brother wasn't much of a phone user and they very rarely texted each other since they were almost always together.

"Where are you?"

One awkwardly texted his brother, then immediately set his phone to silent, putting it on the coffee table face down. For some reason expecting replies and notifications always stressed him out and made him uncomfortable, so he distracted himself by going into the kitchen. Though he wasn't much of a cook, he considered making dinner so he had something to focus on. After taking some ingredients for a barebones soup out of the fridge, he went to check his phone.

"getting groceries"

His brother had texted him back- it was a little unsettling that he'd have gone without him and without saying anything, but he was glad he got a reply. More often than not they had their groceries delivered so they wouldn't have to go out themselves to get them.

He went outside- the car was gone. He should have checked that first to save him the trouble of looking around.

He returned to the kitchen and very meticulously diced up vegetables and meat for a soup, putting them on the stove and sighing with mild frustration knowing that he wasn't half the cook his brother was, and that it took him twice as long to put anything together than it took him.

He peered out the window every so often, waiting for his brother to come back. The sun was going down by now. Restless and trying to pass time, he did some cleaning around the kitchen and living room, vacuuming the rug, washing the inside of the window- though everything was already clean. Two enjoyed housekeeping and usually kept the place spotless, especially since they weren't keen on hiring a housekeeper. They didn't like anyone being in their space unless it was necessary.

The sun was going down. He restlessly checked his phone and texted his brother again.

"Everything okay?"

Stressed, he insisted on waiting for a response before putting his phone back down.

"yup"

He sighed and tossed his phone onto the sofa, then went back to check on his soup.

The only piece of cooking information that really stuck with him was to make sure the meat was cooked so that it was safe to eat and everything else would usually come together with that. Even if it didn't taste good, it was safe to eat and that would be good enough for him. His brother would be proud of him for trying.

He went over to look out the window again, trying to wait patiently for his brother. At least he knew where he was and could communicate with him. Most of the time when they went out, Two didn't take his phone with him.

He sat down on the sofa and picked up his phone to text his brother again restlessly.

"Are you mad at me?"

He turned on the television to distract himself while waiting for an answer. The sun had gone down and it was getting dark.

"of course not"

He turned his phone off in an attempt to distract himself from checking it so often, fearing getting on his brother's nerves. He got up to pour himself a glass of water and check on his soup.

The soup didn't look too bad, but it did look plain and didn't have a strong smell, but aside from that it looked done and had been cooked thoroughly enough, so he pulled it off the heat. He was proud of himself for doing something constructive, but it was strange and unsettling to do something on his own.

He sat down and tried to focus on the television, trying to wait patiently for his brother to return. At this point he'd been gone all day, but One assumed he was alright given that he'd been texting him. It was still a long time for a grocery trip.

Eventually their car slowly pulled up into the garage. Overcome with relief but not wanting to seem like he was specifically waiting for his brother to come back, he got up and went to the kitchen to stir his soup. It looked better now that it had been sitting a while.

Two came through the front door a minute or so later, carrying a bunch of recyclable grocery bags. He smiled briefly at his brother as he set them on the table and started putting the groceries away.

"Hey," One said awkwardly as he pitched in, helping his brother get everything put away. They didn't live close to grocery stores, so when they got groceries they usually got enough to last them several weeks. They'd have perishables like milk and eggs delivered more often than that, but anything that could be shelved was bought in relative bulk.

"I made soup." One awkwardly tried to continue the conversation after not receiving a reply, assuming his brother was too preoccupied putting things away to answer.

"Oh..." Two sympathetically checked the stove. "I ate while I was out. I'll have some tomorrow though."

One frowned to himself but said nothing in response, not knowing how to react to that. He took bowl of soup for himself and sat at the kitchen table. His brother grabbed a drink and went to sit on the sofa with a magazine.

After he tried the soup, he was glad his brother had already ate. It wasn't bad, but it was horrendously bland and unsatisfying and he would have felt bad serving it to him, since his brother would have eaten it just so he wouldn't feel bad.

Something didn't feel right to One. It was obvious his brother was upset or affected negatively by last night, but he didn't know how to address it without getting into the same conversation they'd had last night. He decided he'd just give his brother the space he wanted.

After a while, Two tossed the magazine onto the coffee table, turned off the television and started to head upstairs. One was still sat at the kitchen table.

"Where are you going?"

"To bed." Two replied without turning around and continued heading upstairs. "Goodnight."

Again, One sat awkwardly at the table, hoping his brother would come back down after a few minutes. Again, he didn't. He poured himself a drink and went to sit on the sofa in the spot his brother had gotten up from. Sad and not knowing what to do with himself, he turned his phone back on to text his brother goodnight, then immediately turned it off and closed his eyes.


	11. text

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this as three separate chapters but it flowed a lot better as one, so it's a long one.

Over the next few days, Two continued the pattern of leaving the house without his brother, and so his brother was alone more often than not now. One had given up on texting him to ask if he was alright, always getting the same "yes" response, never receiving an explanation. Two would go out for meals by himself, stay in his room for hours and offer no more than a polite "hi" when he came downstairs. One tried to be patient with him, hoping it would blow over and that his brother would apologize and knock it off.

He had kept on his prescribed antidepressants but had wound up trying to kick everything else for good, which made him irrationally moody, and made it hard to sleep- which furthered his mood swings. He was well aware of it, which was the determining factor behind not wanting to quit. He had difficulty coping with the withdrawal.

Eventually he found himself tired of his brother's behavior and his concern was replaced with anger and frustration. If his brother entered the room he was in, he'd leave. He'd started drinking heavier and slamming doors, which seemed to be cause for Two to finally be concerned about him. One avoided him as much as possible.

Two was sat downstairs on the sofa, quietly reading a magazine when One came downstairs to pour himself a drink, grabbing a glass off the shelf above the kitchen bar.

"Wanna talk about it?" Two asked without looking up from his magazine. One froze and pinched the bridge of his nose before violently throwing his glass on the floor and instead grabbing a bottle from the bar and stomping back up to his room.

He was furious that he'd been called out- called out on his behavior when his brother did the exact same thing to him and saw nothing wrong with it. He knew if he wasn't left alone right now that he'd wind up doing something he'd regret. On the verge of crying from rage, he paced around his room for a few minutes before sitting at his desk, drinking and trying to distract himself long enough to calm down and think rationally.

A soft knock at his door ruined his concentration and he clenched his fists, ignoring the knock and saying nothing, hoping if he didn't acknowledge it that his brother would leave.

After receiving no reply, Two slowly opened his brother's door and peeked in.

"No. Bye." One didn't give his brother the satisfaction of looking over at him- and it was hard for him to be audibly coherent when he wasn't thinking straight. Two sadly watched his brother without a word- and his brother could feel him looking at him, and he didn't like it. He threw his bottle at the door- which thankfully did not shatter, but only narrowly missed Two as he leaned out of the way to avoid it. Two said nothing but studied his brother, who now felt like he was being observed like an animal.

"Bye. Leave," One's tone grew angrier as he tried to order his brother to leave him alone. Ripping the plug out of the socket, he threw his desk lamp at the door, shattering the bulb and breaking the base off of it.

"Leave. Go." One was on the verge of hysterics, tears running down his face.

"You know if this is what you want to do, I'll put up with it if it makes you happy." Two's voice shook as he spoke, clearly trying to put extra effort into making sure he was speaking clearly despite being as distraught as his brother.

"I don't know what you want from me," Two continued, "but if you feel like sharing, I'll be here."

With that, Two delicately closed the door. One closed his eyes tightly and covered his ears, trying to cut himself off from the outside world until he could calm down. After a few minutes and after it was clear his brother had left, he took a deep breath and quietly went to pick the bottle up off the floor. Taking a drink from it, he laid down in bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to purge all thoughts from his head so he could relax, ultimately winding up drinking himself to sleep.

  
X

  
He awoke an indeterminate amount of time later, remembering what had happened earlier crystal clearly. He had a throbbing headache and felt a little nauseous, but they'd both subsided after a few minutes awake laying in bed.

It was midday from the looks of it, and quiet as it had been over the past couple days. He changed his clothes and paced around his room for a minute before deciding on going downstairs- he was too restless to stay in one spot, but he didn't want to face his brother right now either.

Two hurriedly got up off the sofa to greet him as he went downstairs, obviously waiting for him to come down. He avoided eye contact and made his way for the front door, his brother grabbing his arm trying to stop him for an explanation.

"Where are you going?"

One struggled to be rid of his brother's grip as he stood in the doorway, but his brother wasn't willing to let go.

"Out," One spoke with frustration in his voice. "Let me go."

"Why? When will you be back?"

One elbowed him in the ribs and he recoiled, but he grabbed onto his shirt as he tried to walk away. Entirely fed up, One turned around and spat at him and jerked his arm away before meeting his gaze with disgust, judgmentally sizing him up head to toe as he turned around to leave. In shock, Two watched motionlessly, defeated, as his brother walked away.

He stood in the doorway and watched his brother until he was out of sight before closing himself in and staring out the window for a few minutes.

One would have had a taxi drop him off if he knew where he was going, but all he knew is that he wanted to be alone for the time being. He could admit half the reason he was going out was so his brother would know what it was like to get the cold shoulder- he didn't really anticipate having a nice day out, but if he didn't get out of the house by himself he would have went stir crazy, and even if he was angry enough to justify hurting his brother, he didn't want to do it on impulse. Getting out of the house was the best thing he could do for himself right now.

He went to the cafe they'd often stopped at when they went into the city and ordered himself a plain coffee.

"Where's your other half?" the barista asked cheerfully as he rang up the order. One politely and briefly smiled but didn't respond.

He sat down at one of the tables outside and watched people as they walked by. He felt oddly confident- that is to say he was ready to defend himself if anything went wrong. He always kept pepper spray in his bag for self defense. Being alone didn't make him feel any more defenseless than he usually was. While he relied on his brother for a lot of things, defending him was not one of them. Usually he was the one who would defend his brother if need be.

He had been conditioned to be more careful and defensive than Two, so he always picked up on suspicious behavior of people around them far before his brother did. Unknown to Two, they had gone down some different paths while their manager was alive that dampened the outlook One had on the people around him. He expected the worst from people around him far before his brother did.

One rummaged through his bag to grab his phone and checked it to find two missed calls from his brother. Within a few moments it became three. He ignored them and put his phone on silent, slightly irritated, but feeling satisfaction from not answering him; it was a "taste of your own medicine" kind of deal.

When One neglected the calls, his brother turned to texting.

"where are you"

Refusing to feel bad, One smiled briefly with satisfaction- but the satisfaction turned to impatience as his brother continued to text him. He wondered what his brother would have done if this is how he acted when he was left alone. It didn't sit well with him that his brother had ignored him for days without a problem- but it was unacceptable the first time he decides to do it. It made him feel insignificant, like he was an accessory to his brother- yet he sat here purposely ignoring him, so neither of them were all to blame.

Shopping was a recreational activity that One enjoyed- so he went to the mall to try and take his mind off his brother.

To his liking, the mall was almost empty. With so many shopping centers in the area it's bound to happen on occasion, but it was usually fairly crowded when they went here.

He bought himself some clothes and scarves, and a pair of sunglasses he'd probably never wear. He sat down in the food court and begrudgingly checked his phone to find an onslaught of new texts.

"where are you"  
"pick up"  
"are you okay"

The novelty of his had worn off and One became irritated with his brother sending the same texts over and over. He sent a response text before deciding it would be best to turn his phone off for a while.

"Fuck off"

  
X

  
Two paced around the living room trying to calm himself down, well aware he was overreacting and even more aware of why this was happening. He clutched his head- he was sweating, forehead burning up, trying to do breathing exercises to calm down.

He looked through his texts, fondly re-reading the good night texts his brother had sent him the past couple of nights, sincerely regretting not responding to them. For what they were, they were a comforting and heartwarming gesture, even if not in the best circumstances. Looking at them helped him fall asleep the past few nights.

He was well aware that he'd been the catalyst that caused this all to happen and he felt an immense amount of guilt knowing that even if this blew over, it'd never be forgotten. He wouldn't have let it come to this if he had thought about it. He didn't fight with his brother, he rarely even got irritated with him.

He had felt the disgust in One's eyes when he walked away from him- and he understood it, he deserved it. He was as angry at himself as his brother was at him. He didn't understand how hurtful his actions were until he experienced it for himself. He wasn't trying to hurt his brother but instead give him space so that he didn't feel pressured to make decisions he didn't want to make.

If Two hadn't gone downstairs to get a drink the other night, everything that was happening could have been avoided. He became sick with guilt remembering that he tried to shame his brother for trying to cope with his emotional burdens with medications- the same medications he had taken as well, though not to the same degree as One. He concluded that his nightly hot flashes must have been tied to dropping the medications- so even if he didn't have the same withdrawal symptoms as his brother, he did have them and should have been more supporting and sympathetic for his brother.

He paced around the house. He'd considered cleaning up the broken glass in his brother's bedroom but wasn't sure how One would take to him being in his space. He was normally okay with it, but these were no longer normal circumstances.

He hadn't texted his brother since he received the "Fuck off" text from him earlier. It felt like hours ago, but checking his phone revealed it had only been a quarter of an hour. Opening the text made his heart sink- communicating with his brother via phone was impersonal enough, but the reply deeply hurt him. Despite that, he felt he deserved the rash reply.

He poured himself a drink in an effort to calm down. He curled up on the couch and watched his phone.

x

One sat in the food court for a while, watching the few people that were there and trying to clear his mind. It wasn't a bad place to be, relatively quiet compared to outside.

He turned his phone back on after a while. No new texts, no missed calls. He bought himself an exorbitantly priced water bottle and sat down in the food court where he was before, looking through his bags to recount what he'd bought himself, then looking down at his phone to find a chain of new messages.

"(1/6) i know i deserve whats going on and im going to leave you alone after this. i am completely aware of how ive been acting

(2/6) because it was a conscious decision that hurt me too. im scared of something happening to you and being alone as a result. i tried

(3/6) isolating myself but didnt realize how painful it was to be alone until it was no longer a choice. i dont know why but i didnt tak

(4/6) e into consideration my actions would affect you too. ill accept the consequences of my actions. its alright for you to take time

(5/6) for yourself. im sorry for acting like this. ill respect your decisions even if they hurt me. im sorry for not responding to the g

(6/6) oodnight texts you sent me. i appreciated them. i also tried the soup you made and it wasnt so bad. im sorry again"

  
One felt disconnected from his surroundings as he focused on the texts. " _even if they hurt me_ " resonated with him, and the more he focused on it, the sadder he became. He swallowed nervously and cautiously replied to his brother's texts.

"Do I hurt you?"

One turned his phone over as he waited for a response, half hoping his brother wouldn't respond at all. He was aware that his behavior and choices were hurtful, but it was different to be reminded of it by his brother. He held his breath as he checked Two's response.

"the thought of something happening to you does"

He focused on the reply for a few minutes, disconnected from everything going on around him, before responding.

"I will make sure nothing happens to either of us"

He clutched his head and frowned. As much as he wanted to make a promise that everything would be okay, he couldn't.

"im sorry  
im sorry  
im sorry  
im sorry

ill stop sorry i know im annoying"

One smiled as his brother texted him.

"When I get home can we pretend none of this happened? Don't acknowledge I was gone, just pretend it never happened. For my sake"

"absolutely"

One sighed in relief before replying back.

"I'm leaving now"

One held his phone to his chest as he left the mall. Though home was within walking distance, he didn't feel as safe walking home in the dark as he would have earlier. He signaled for a cab, keeping his brother updated on where he was until the cab dropped him off at the community gate.

Two was sitting on the sofa reading a book when his brother walked in. They smiled at each other in understanding as One put his bags on the table and sat on the adjacent sofa as his brother turned on the television.

It was like nothing had ever happened.


	12. car radio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day trip to the coast

Over the next few days. everything went back to normal and the twins fell back into their old routines, burying what had happened, but never forgetting.

Two woke up well rested, despite never getting enough sleep- perhaps waking up earlier than he should have. He dragged himself down to the second floor bathroom to get a bath. Parting the curtains revealed it was later than he thought- while he felt like it was the early morning, the sun suggested it was around noon. He winced, but kept the curtain open so he wouldn't have to turn on the light.

It was a comfortable silence- one he almost fell asleep in while he was in the bath, but he jolted awake when he felt himself nodding off, stepped out of the tub and put a towel around himself.

He gently towel dried his hair, sighed, and begrudgingly looked at himself in the mirror before getting a pair of scissors out from the drawer under the counter to carefully trim his split ends off with. No matter what he did, his hair was always an unruly mess when it shouldn't have been. His brother heat processed his hair to straighten it, yet it was still less damaged than his.

He attempted to put his hair back in a ponytail with a rubber band, but it was a bit too short, and the front repeatedly fell back around his face while the back would stay in. After a few attempts to fit all his hair into the ponytail, he sighed and gave up, leaving just the back section of his hair to stay in the rubber band. It didn't look bad, but he became irritated when he was unable to do things he'd planned on doing.

He got dressed and headed downstairs to find his brother looking out the front window while coffee brewed. He turned away from the window and looked surprised to see Two for a moment before the surprise turned into a smile and he went to pour a couple cups of coffee.

"What?"

"Nothing," One laughed cheerfully to himself as he handed a cup of coffee to his brother, who smiled thoughtfully in response. These small moments of happiness were contagious and less taken for granted as time went on.

"How would you feel about going out to the pier today?" Two asked his brother. Getting out of the house to do something domestic would be good for them. "Just as something different to do. Get dinner or something."

"Okay?" One walked back over to the window and looked up at the sky. "I mean it's sort of a ways away for leaving so late." He went upstairs hastily to get ready before his brother could really reply.

Two hadn't been sleeping well and never woke up as early as he planned. He'd wanted to leave earlier- the pier was a good two or three hours out from them by car, probably much longer by public transit. Neither of them were particularly fond of beaches, and they'd tire of them easily, but it was somewhere different to go.

They decided to go by car for a change. One hated driving and was unarguably awful at it compared to his brother, but found the rides relaxing since they didn't have to be around other people.

Neither of them talked much as Two drove, but it was a comfortable safe silence. One fiddled with the radio, trying to find music to their tastes. Neither of them listed to much music, but electronic music had always been something they enjoyed. Their tastes had mellowed out over the years and they listened to a lot of lo-fi, softer music, music without lyrics. One eventually gave up and turned the radio off.

The drive was about three hours, as expected. They parked in a public parking garage- these kind of wet, dimly lit places gave them both the creeps as they seemed like the kind of places you'd get abducted. They made a brisk walk for the exit and stepped out into the sunlight.

A selection of different stores and restaurants lined a long, crowded boardwalk that stretched on as far as the eye could see and then curved out of sight, with a fairly empty, calm beach in front of it. The air grew a lot colder as they walked into the sand, both of them regretting not bringing something warmer to wear. One crossed his arms and hunched over as they walked down the beach.

"Cold?"

"I'm fine." One insisted as he unfolded his arms. Two sympathetically looked over at him and smiled, cursing himself for not bringing warmer clothing with them. The last thing he wanted was to make his brother sick.

"Do you think father misses us?"

Two was a bit taken aback by the question, and looked over at his brother to better read him, not knowing if he was expecting a serious response or not. One didn't look back, and instead continued to look ahead as they walked.

"I don't know." They hadn't heard from him in years- they didn't know if he could even contact them if he wanted to. They had no way of contacting him either.

"Do you miss how things used to be?"

Two thought for a few seconds before answering.

"I don't know."

Their lives weren't bad before they went off on their own, but everything was different once they left the Jail and signed those modeling contracts. They took everything they experienced for what it was, as if the changes they experienced were what was destined for them, as if they didn't have any real control of what happened in their lives. Since they did that, they couldn't really regret anything they experienced.

"What brings this up?" Two asked uneasily after a bout of silence.

"It was the first time I've thought about it."

Two looked over to see his brother was very obviously cold. Instead of asking if he was alright, knowing what response he'd get, he instead insisted they find a place to grab a good dinner and drinks- and maybe do some shopping after.

Finding a place with indoor seating proved to be a real chore- most places along the boardwalk were entirely based outside. One was irritated with himself for having such poor circulation.

"Let's just find a place outside, it's fine."

"Nah." Two wasn't going to have it.

They entered a shopping center to get One out of the cold- it was a very touristy place, lots of stores selling memorabilia with photos and depictions of the ocean. There were a few clothing stores and a pharmacy, and a food court that was connected to several restaurants. They made a guess on which one was the least crowded and headed inside.

They apparently guessed wrong, and wound up waiting a while for a booth to be cleared for them. The waitress led them to their table and they sat opposite one another, ordered food and drinks, and awkwardly waited.

It was fairly crowded, and worse yet, loud enough where they couldn't talk comfortably at the volume they were used to talking at.

"Remind me not to try to plan anything fun again." One smiled and rolled his eyes in response, but didn't feel like raising his voice to answer.

Considering how packed it was, their food and drinks came out in an impressively short amount of time. Two took a sip of his drink, then frowned and put it back down on the table.

"What am I doing? I have to drive." He laughed silently to himself and pushed his glass towards his brother, sort of embarrassed with himself. Most of the time they took public transit specifically because they would get themselves wrecked, so it slipped his mind that he was even responsible for driving them back.

He eventually got up to sit on the same side of the table as his brother so neither of them would have to speak up to hear each other. They watched the other tables, judging folks on what they'd order, Two carrying most of the conversations, his brother laughing at them. Two was glad he'd be driving- he'd be sober enough to remember his brother laughing, both of them having a good time.

One ordered himself a few more drinks. Most of the people who were there before them were still there- despite the noise, it was a very unrushed and relaxed atmosphere.

It was well past dark by the time they paid and left- One tripped over his own feet, but stabilized himself and walked fine after. He wasn't trashed, but would probably need some guidance to walk back to the car.

To no one's surprise, it was colder when they left than it was before, but One didn't complain. The walk back to the parking garage seemed a lot longer than the walk out there. Two protectively pulled his brother closer to him as they entered and walked to their car.

"I can drive if you're too tired to."

Two laughed as he helped his brother into the passenger seat. "No, you can't. I don't know how you even walked back in one piece."

By the time they got on the road home it was past midnight. There was surprisingly little traffic, even for the time, considering how packed the beach was.

"Your hair looks nice today." One turned to talk to his brother, who nervously laughed in response.

"It looks the same as it always does." Two was a little scared of his brother doing something stupid while he was concentrating on getting them home safely. He assumed enough time had passed for the alcohol to kick in now.

"Well yeah, but you put it back and it looks nice like that. I'm not saying it doesn't usually, I'm just saying it... looks nice."

One reached out and pushed his brother's loose hair out of his face and tucked it behind his ear. Two nervously slowed down at his brother's touch, trying to concentrate on driving them home safely. One stared at his face for a few moments before taking his hand away and laughing.

"Wow, sorry, I'm pretty drunk."

"It's fine."

"Actually, could you pull over for a second?"

Two nervously glanced over at his brother for a second and nodded obediently, putting on his turn signal and slowly pulling off the road. As they came to a stop, One opened his door and violently heaved out onto the ground. To an extent, his brother was relieved as he didn't know why he was being asked to pull over. He took a deep breath and got out to check on Two, still in the process of vomiting his stomach's contents onto the ground.

"You okay?" Two asked calmly. This situation wasn't new to either of them. He'd be fine.

One gave him a thumbs up as he wretched once again. Two squatted next to him and moved his hair out of his face.

"We can stay parked for a while if you want."

One tried to steady his breathing, his head between his knees. After a minute he sat up.

"No, I'm good now." One's voice was raspy, his brother could tell it probably hurt to talk.

"Wanna lay down in the back?"

"I'm fine."

Two gave him a reassuring, gentle pat on the back before getting up and getting back in the car and getting them back on the road.

"I'm sorry, this was supposed to just... be a nice day out." Two spoke softly.

"It is."

He smiled sympathetically and didn't argue- it must have hurt for One to talk, and he didn't want to make that worse.

They turned off into a gas station after a while.

"Why are we stopping?"

"Need gas. Please stop talking." One looked over at him, offended at the command. Two smugly smiled back and laughed silently to himself.

"You sound like you're dying."

One smiled and jokingly punched his brother in the arm weakly.

Two filled the tank and went into the storefront to pay, grabbing a bottle of water for his brother as well, and keeping a close eye on him from the store window as the cashier sluggishly rang him up and thanked him for his business. He hurriedly made his way back to the car. Being alone in the middle of nowhere at night gave him the creeps.

He handed his brother the water bottle and started up the car.

"You didn't have to." One broke the seal on the bottle, but didn't otherwise open it.

"Okay?" Two smiled smugly as he got them back on the road, trying to keep conversation to a minimum.

"You care too much."

Two smiled to himself and didn't respond. One fell asleep for the rest of the ride home relatively soon after.

As they pulled up to their house, Two gently shook his brother's shoulder to wake him up to no avail. He waited for a minute before getting out and opening the passenger door, shaking his shoulder again. One cringed and slowly tried to open his eyes.

"Come on, we're home."

"Can I just stay in the car?"

"No." Two smiled sympathetically and waited for his brother to get up. "Want me to carry you?"

"No. I'm not a baby." One stretched and very slowly got up to his feet. It was the same familiar conversation they always had, so it was comforting in a way.

As One got up out of the car, he gently fell forward into his brother, who sighed as he held onto his arms.

"Come on, I'm carrying you in." Two spoke softly.

"Can I just stay here?"

"Like... outside? No. It's cold. You'll get sick."

"No..."

After a few patient moments of One making no attempt to stand up straight, his brother sighed and carefully picked him up to bring him inside.

"No. Put me down." Two smiled to himself as he carried his brother indoors. One reached up and put his hands on the back of Two's neck, who jumped slightly at the touch.

"Christ, your hands are cold. Cut that out."

One laughed weakly in reply. His brother carefully placed him on the sofa and looked at the time - it was 3 am by the time they'd gotten home. He went outside to pull the car into the garage and lock up grabbing his brother's bag and phone from the car.

By the time he'd come back inside his brother was already asleep. Two set his bag down next to him, put his phone on silent and placed it on the coffee table, taking out his own phone and texting him goodnight before heading upstairs to bed.


	13. darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> something is keeping one awake at night and he copes with it in a strange way

One opened his brother's bedroom door quietly as possible, careful to not disturb him- not realizing he was already awake. Unsure of what was going on or what the noise was, Two laid silent and motionless in his bed. He slept in the pitch black and it was impossible for him to see what was going on. Nervously, he tried to stay as still as possible, trying to figure out what was happening.

One laid down on the floor space between his brother's bed and desk and the room fell back into dark silence.

"Hello?" Two said nervously after a minute or so of quiet. His brother searched for a response, unaware that he'd either woken up his brother or that he was already awake. He didn't understand the extent of Two's insomnia or how long it would keep him up at night.

"I can't sleep. Sorry." One replied softly.

"You scared me half to death." Two paused before continuing. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Two paused before answering.   
"... Okay."

The room fell back into silence, and both of them peacefully fell asleep.

 

A few nights later around the same time, One quietly entered his brother's room to sleep on the floor next to him for a second time.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah."

"Well..." Two involuntarily sighed quietly as he continued. "If something's wrong, don't be afraid to tell me."

One didn't respond, and the room went silent for the rest of the night. Despite being a light sleeper, Two didn't hear his brother leave in the morning, and he woke up alone, as he did the first time it happened.

 

About a week later, One entered his brother's room for a third time around the same time of night, laying down on the floor next to the bed where he had before.

"Hi."

"Hi..."  
With no response from Two, he continued to talk, but softer.

"Do you mind if I do this?"

"No."

"Does it wake you up?"

"No."

"So... you were already awake?" One sat up carefully and looked toward his brother. It was entirely too dark to make out anything in the room, even after his eyes adjusted to the darkness. One usually had some sort of ambient light in his room- or forgot to turn off his computer monitor, so he could always see at least vaguely. The darkness was unsettling to him.

"No..." Two replied softly after a few moments.

"Are you okay?"

One waited for a response, but didn't get one. He sat up on his knees and carefully reached over onto the bed to gently run his fingers through his brother's hair. Two inhaled sharply at the touch, but relaxed as One continued.

One sighed softly and rested his head against the mattress as he comforted his brother until he fell asleep.

 

A few nights later, he entered Two's room for a fourth time and quietly sat next to the bed where he had previously.

"What's up?"

When One didn't answer, Two propped himself up on his elbows. Laying on his stomach, he adjusted himself to face his brother.

"Hey... are you okay?" He spoke softer this time, nervously expecting a reply.

One leaned over onto the bed to cautiously put his hands on the back of his brother's head, running his fingers through his hair. Two swallowed nervously and stayed motionless as his brother continued. One pressed his forehead to his and ran his hands down his neck.

Two couldn't bring himself to say anything in response, but his nerves got the best of him and he shook slightly. Foreheads still pressed against each other, One froze as he felt his brother shake.

"I'm sorry." One said in a raspy whisper, paused for a moment, and took his hands off his brother before backing away slowly.

Two stayed still and silent. His brother's breath was very sweet- it lingered with him for a few moments.

"Sorry." One repeated himself as he carefully got to his feet and left the room.

Two stayed motionless for a few minutes as he tried to collect his thoughts. He turned over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling for the rest of the night.


	14. goodnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nightmares

Two had decided the best thing for him to do would be to pretend nothing had happened the previous night- to be as cheerful and supportive of his brother as he could be.

The following afternoon he convinced One to come with him to the grocer to pick up some things for dinner. Getting out of the house for a while usually helped both of them, and the weather was fair for the time being, so the walk there would be refreshing. Though not cold, Two brought a coat with him just in case either of them needed it.

Two led him around the grocer, asking him for opinions on what to make and what he'd feel like eating. He seemed a bit quiet and distant, but was definitely trying to be responsive to Two's questions. The store was a little crowded, and Two thought that may make his brother anxious, so he tried to keep him distracted to the best of his ability.

Two would make snide remarks about what people were buying and his brother would smile- laughing quietly occasionally as well. As time went on he seemed to be warming back up. It did them both a world of good to laugh together.

Two put his coat around his brother when they left the store- it had gotten a little cold, but it was more of a gesture than anything else. One smiled faintly but said nothing in response. Two carried the grocery bags on the way home. His brother asked if he could carry them but he insisted on keeping them.

Two asked his brother if he'd want to help with dinner but he declined, claiming he didn't want to ruin something that would be good otherwise. He wasn't as good of a cook as his brother and didn't enjoy it to the same extent that he did, so his skills were lackluster in comparison. He put the television on and sat on the sofa as Two contentedly diced vegetables.

For kicks, he'd start casual conversations with his brother, who had to speak up louder than what he was comfortable with to answer since he was in the other room. Eventually he got up from the sofa and instead sat at the kitchen table, Two smiling smugly at him as he continued to prepare dinner.

One was still a bit quiet, but Two was happy with the direction the evening was going after he had assumed the worst last night- his brother seemed low on energy, but he consciously tried to avoid asking if everything was alright and instead tried his best to distract him, carrying casual conversations about places they could go, recipes they could try, bars they hadn't been to.

After they had dinner, they put on a movie, talking over it as they inattentively tried to keep interest in it and sharing a few drinks. After it was over, One sluggishly went up to his room to sleep after wishing his brother a good night. Two took the opportunity to clean up around the kitchen and living room before turning in for the night himself.

x

Unaware he had fallen asleep, Two was woken up by what was becoming the familiar sound of his door opening in the middle of the night, followed by his brother laying down on the floor next to him.

"Would you want to come up here?" Two spoke softly. "I can move over."

He received no response.

"It can't be comfortable to sleep on the floor."

No response.

"... Or we could switch places, I'd be fine with that."

After receiving no response, he sighed quietly and decided to move over to the far side of the bed anyway. After a few minutes, his brother carefully climbed up and laid beside him. Two gently reached over and ruffled his hair as a gesture to acknowledge he was there, not wanting to make further conversation if One did not want to talk.

"I can't sleep." One said, laying on his back.

"Oh... do you mean you're not tired? I could stay up with you."

There were a few moments of silence before One answered.

"I keep having these nightmares." He paused. "I'm exhausted."

"Oh..."

One shifted around uncomfortably. "Like... of being alone."

Two rolled over to lay on his side and face his brother as he listened.

"Nightmares about something happening to you." One sounded uncomfortable with what he was saying, pausing before he continued.

"Sorry, that sounds fucked up."

"No, it's okay." Two listened nervously as his brother sounded like he was on the verge of tears, voice cracking as he continued.

"Like.... nightmares about you dying."

"Oh." Two felt his heart sink, and said nothing further at the risk of sounding nervous and upsetting his brother more than he was already.

"Like finding you dead." One's voice cracked as he tried to hold himself together. "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you."

Two took a few deep, silent breaths, knowing his brother would feel worse if he sounded upset as well. His brother being so distraught was more upsetting than the actual conversation, and to an extent he was comforted that it wasn't something more serious.

"That's not realistic," Two spoke in a near whisper. "Nothing's going to happen to me- or either of us, for that matter."

"I'm scared you're just going to leave, like... one day you'll just be gone."

Two swallowed nervously as he listened.

"I don't know how to help you. I'm not going anywhere though. I wouldn't. Why would I do that?" Two paused and quietly laughed to himself. "I couldn't even be alone that afternoon you went out by yourself. Do you know what I did? I just... paced around and looked out the window like a sad dog."

"You did the same thing to me though."

"I know. I'm sorry." It was one of the few things Two ever regretted doing. He paused before continuing. "Did I cause this?"

"I don't think so. No. I'm just pathetic."

"You're not."

One paused for a few moments. "Can I stay here?"

"Yeah... yeah, of course. Absolutely. You don't need to ask."

"I just don't want to be alone right now."

Two smiled to himself in relief and rolled over to lay on his back as the room fell to a comfortable silence, staring into the darkness as his brother finally dozed off. Though he couldn't bring himself to fall asleep right away, he was content. As morning came and the sun started to rise, he turned his head to see the outline of his brother, sleeping peacefully beside him. He found peace in this, finally closing his eyes and falling asleep himself.


	15. firepit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the twins enjoy a night together

It was getting to be warmer during the nights- cold enough to warrant putting on a fire in the firepit out in the patio, but warm enough to be comfortable sat in front of it.

The twins sat near the firepit in matching patio chairs, passing a joint back and forth and sharing some drinks. They hadn't smoked much since they'd moved to their house and didn't do so indoors, but would still smoke on occasion outside if the weather permitted. Smoking tended to make them both a bit more talkative, but didn't do much more than that.

"I know you're avoiding talking about it, but I think I finally broke my prescription drug habit. Like, all of it."   
One poured himself a drink as he talked so he'd seem preoccupied. They had a few bottles of liquor in an ice filled bucket between them, but the ice had half melted by now. Two was admittedly hesitant to bring up the drug situation and admittedly thought his brother was managing it better rather than quitting, as he assumed quitting would be a painful process for him- but there were no mood swings like the one from before, the one where he attacked his brother and broke the fish tank, no attempted overdoses that he was aware of. He realized the nightmares that One had been having may have been the last of the side effects, and even those seemed to stop, as he no longer came into Two's bedroom at night. 

Hearing the words from his brother was a blessing. He had bargained with himself, telling himself that it would be alright for One to continue his habits if he could manage them better. They were both fully capable of self control, they knew each other's limits and Two knew his brother was capable of finding some sort of balance to keep himself happy while staying safe. Eliminating the threats was the best thing Two could ask for. He smiled, but couldn't think of anything to say in response that didn't sound stupid in his head.

"Which leaves more time for crap like this, I guess." One sighed with uneasy satisfaction and looked over at his brother before laughing quietly. Two rubbed his eyes in an attempt not to cry. They were both a little drunk at this point, and drinking had tended to make Two emotional.

"Don't get soft on me."

One reached over to ruffle his brother's hair- who in response laughed and reached over to put him in a halfhearted, gentle headlock and returned the favor. His chair tipped over on him and he fell to the ground as One tried not to laugh at him.

Two pushed the chair away, rolled onto his back and laughed, covering his eyes with his hands, making no attempt to get back up, comfortable where he was.

"Get up, the ground is dirty." One smiled, relieved his brother wasn't hurt. After a few moments, Two took his hands away from his face, letting out a contented sigh and stretching, looking up at the night sky. Two moved his chair backwards a little so he could reach his brother's arm, pulling it so that he'd get up. Two sluggishly sat up, hugging his knees, and stared into the fire before resting his head against his brother's leg and sighing again.

One ran his fingers through his brother's hair affectionately and they enjoyed the remainder of the night in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i needed something small and stress free to add between the last chapter and what's going to happen next... so short and nothing bad happens :)


	16. black tracksuit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bartender gets more than he bargained for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a long one and it gets a little weird... warnings for pretty graphic violence emetophobia and some bad sexual stuff

On a whim the twins had went by public transport to a bar on the other site of the city that they hadn't been to. The area around the bar was run-down and shady- not the kind of place you would walk through or stick around if you had no reason to be there. On the inside the bar was a nice contrast however- a quiet but busy atmosphere.

They sat at the bar closest to the exit and ordered some drinks. They would usually take a table if they were planning on eating, but they weren't, and there were no free tables anyway.

The bartender brought their drinks over after a few minutes.

"This round's on the house for a couple of beautiful gents like you."

"We pay for our own things." One met the bartender's gaze with an impatient smile. He didn't like people offering to buy things for them or the implications behind the offers. The man looked out of place- a little older looking than the twins, pale and slightly overweight, with seemingly dyed black hair and tinted glasses. He probably thought the glasses would hide what he was looking at, but they did not.

"Thank you anyway." Two often stepped in to feign appreciation when his brother acted this way- he was very good at portraying gratitude, whether or not it was sincere. Usually he felt it was in their best interest to appear friendly, as his brother had a track record of getting into fights thanks to his tone.

"Suit yourself." The bartender didn't seem to take it personal. "First time I've seen you around here."

One frowned with his face buried in his phone, trying to ignore him so Two would do the talking.

"We like going to new places."

"So you're not from around here, huh?"

"We aren't, no." One enunciated his words, answering without looking up from his phone before Two could answer him. Two smiled and looked away awkwardly, a little embarrassed.

"Gotcha." The bartender seemed to take the hint, dropped the subject and left to serve other customers.

Two sighed and turned to look at his brother, who smiled smugly and took a drink without looking up from his phone. Honestly he found One's behavior charming and wouldn't have it any other way, so his embarrassment quickly subsided. After a while they ordered another round of drinks.

One was preoccupied trying to book them reservations online to a high class restaurant. Although they ate out frequently, they never went anywhere fancy- fancy places required a reserved table, and although it had been a passing thought for both of them, they never remembered to do it.

One took a sip of his drink- but something was off this time. The drink was noticeably more bitter than the last one when they should have been the same. Nonchalantly, he spat it back into the glass and looked over to see his brother had already drank half of his.

Trying not to make a scene, One glanced over down the bar- he couldn't see where the bartender had gone. He pulled on his brother's arm and got up from his seat.

"We need to go."

Two looked at him with confusion, going through his bag to find his wallet. One jerked on his arm again.

"No, _now_."

One hailed down the first taxi they saw, climbing in the back.

"What is it?" Two asked as he looked over at his brother. One held his hand up to silence him.

He had the taxi drop them off at a shopping center and they made their way through it and out the other side- One was not thinking as clearly as he'd have liked, trying to make sure no one was following them. They took another taxi on the other side of the shopping center back home.

Two blankly stared out the taxi window as it drove them home- One shifted his attention between his brother and behind them, trying to make sure they hasn't been followed. Two leaned against the taxi door and stayed silent for the entire trip.

Upon arriving home and getting out of the back, Two almost immediately stumbled forward and One grabbed his arm to try and keep him upright. They waited for the taxi to drive off before going indoors.

"I don't... I'm not feeling well." Two's voice cracked as he spoke softly. His brother was still holding onto his arm, leading him toward the stairs.

"Up to bed. Come on." One gently and slowly tried to lead him up the stairs, but he tripped halfway up the first flight, turning onto his side to clutch his stomach.

"Come on, get up." One spoke as softly as possible, but he was nervous and his voice shook. He sat next to his brother and patiently tried to help him up, but he made no visible effort to.

"I can't move." Two swallowed nervously, still clutching his stomach.

"You're tired. We had a long day. Please try to get up."

Two breathed through his mouth, the breathing becoming more rapid with the passing moments. With no further warning he wretched violently onto the stairs and coughed. One moved his hair away from his face and tried to comfort him. Two brought his hands up to his mouth with fear in his eyes, trying to stop himself from vomiting again. One gently moved his hands away from his mouth, knowing it wouldn't do any good as he vomited again right after.

"It's alright. You're going to be fine." One tried to comfort his brother.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's happening. I'm disgusting."

"Food poisoning. It's alright. Can you get up?" One tried to talk as calmly as possible, hoping the shaking in his voice wasn't noticeable. Two shook his head faintly, his breathing starting to slow and return to normal. After a few minutes, his body slowly went limp and his eyes closed.

One shook him gently and received no response.

"Shit. Shit." One said under his breath as he got to his feet and stood on the stairs above his brother. Very carefully, he rolled his brother over onto his back and dragged him up the rest of the flight of stairs before catching his breath and dragging him up the next flight into his bedroom. He cursed himself for being weak, and cursed himself again for letting this happen.

He dragged his brother into his room, changing him out of his clothes and into clean ones before painstakingly lifting him up onto his bed.

He kneeled next to the bed and placed a hand on Two's forehead- he was burning up. His pulse was high, but lower than what it was before.

He got up and turned the fan on, pointing it at Two before going back downstairs, turning off all the house lights and pacing around the kitchen. He was more familiar with laced drinks than he ever wanted to be. His brother would be fine- the effects of the drink would wear off in around eight hours and hopefully he would sleep through them, having only some lingering side effects the next day. Unfortunately, One did his brother no favors by dragging him upstairs. They'd both be feeling that tomorrow.

He twitched compulsively as he paced around the kitchen with clouded thoughts. Why a bartender would do something risky like that was beyond him. He realized he probably made a mistake by saying they didn't live in the area. The man could have taken that as a "now or never" opportunity. His heart sank.

He rushed upstairs to take a quick shower and change his clothes. Wearing a black tracksuit and gloves, he attempted to put his hair back and conceal it in a black baseball cap. The front fell back around his face despite his best efforts.

Quietly, he left the house and started up the car. He loathed driving, he really did. He hated driving in the city especially.

Relying on his GPS for guidance, he drove back to the bar they'd been at earlier- he stopped in the parking lot behind it, shut the car off and waited motionlessly in the dark, watching everyone that came and went.

After what felt like hours, the bartender made his way out to the parking lot. One sank a little in his seat and watched- the man stopped to meet with someone who was getting out of their car, before getting in his own. One took out his phone and got pictures of the car and licence plate before it drove off.

The only thing One could hear or concentrate on was his own heartbeat. A few moments after the car left, he left after it.

_God, what am I doing_ , he whispered to himself as he followed the car into the city streets. The city was incredibly busy, and some cars got between him and the bartenders, but it was probably for the best that he keep some space between them.

Keeping the car close in his sights, it turned down a sideroad along with one of the cars between them. They kept on this road until it turned into an apartment complex. He slowed down and kept the car in his sights carefully, turning off his lights as he pulled into the complex parking lot after him. He parked his car on the opposite side of the lot, keeping an eye on the man and his car.

Apparently the man thought nothing of One's car or did not notice he'd been followed at all as he got out of his own car, lit a cigarette and unlocked the door that led into his apartment.

One waited from the car and watched as the lights switched on inside. He watched motionlessly for what must have been an hour, able to make out a figure moving around behind the window curtain from time to time, until eventually the light was turned off.

One checked his phone for the time- it was just past 1am. He waited a few minutes after the lights turned off before cautiously getting out of the car, shutting the door as quietly as possible. Very few people came and went as he had been sat in the car, and the bartender's light was the last one to be turned off.

He carefully made his way to the door. One thing he never thought would be useful that he'd learned during his time in Superjail was lockpicking- but he was wrong. After he picked the door, he entered calmly.

The apartment was dark, but there was enough light outside from the lamps to make out where he was going. It reeked of garbage and cigarettes inside and made One even more grateful that neither of them smoked in the house. The front door led into a hallway, which led into a very small kitchen space. Without a sound, he rummaged through the drawers and found an impressive looking chef's knife, tucking it securely into his glove.

He waited a few minutes next to the front door in silence before proceeding, in case the man came back out. The kitchen led into a living room area which had a bathroom and assumedly his bedroom, but that was it.

He crouched cautiously between the living room and kitchen for a few minutes, waiting for any sort of sound, but there was none. Carefully, he made his way to the bedroom door and pressed his ear up against it- there was silence. He waited outside the room motionlessly for around ten minutes before silently opening the door.

As he opened the door, he heard a click, followed by a small dim lamp flickering on, revealing the man sitting upright in bed. He stared One in the eye for a moment, then he reached over to the desk to the right of his bed, rummaging through the door frantically for something.

_Shit._

One knew he couldn't overpower the man and he couldn't come up with an excuse for what was going on. He did the only thing he could think of to sway the situation in his favor and give him a chance to do what he came to do.

Switching his gaze from the man's hand back to his face, he took his baseball cap off and looked down to unzip his jacket, looking back at the man to see if he was paying attention. The man paused as they locked themselves in eye contact before slowly retracting his hand from the desk and watching One intently.

He swallowed nervously as he unzipped his jacket and threw it to the floor, revealing a black tank top under it. His fear stayed inside him and he would not let it get the best of him- all hope would be lost if this man sensed something was wrong. Even if he was nervous, he knew exactly what he was doing and it wasn't the first time he had to do something like this.

_Please don't say anything. Please just go with it._

The man seemed to relax. Still confidently making eye contact, One smiled and climbed onto the bed and over him, putting his arms around his back and kissing his neck as fiddled with his glove to pull the knife out that he'd concealed. As he heard the man unzip his pants, he moved to kiss the side of his jaw. Holding onto the other side of his face to keep it still, he drove the knife clean through his neck. The noise made him sickeningly dizzy and he grit his teeth with disgust as the man tried to gasp for air.

He moved his head away slowly, shaking in anger and fear, still gripping the knife handle. The man's eyes widened as the rest of him went limp.

"I'll see you in hell." One whispered, forcefully twisting the knife before pulling it out and letting the man collapse onto the bed. In rage, he bit his lip hard enough to make it bleed and stabbed the already dead man multiple more times in the neck before spitting on him, jabbing the knife back into his neck and spitting on him again.

He got up from the bed and rummaged through his room, looking in the desk the man had been reaching into to find a handgun, matches and a collection of notepads with illegible scribbles on them. He looked at the gun, but decided not to touch it.

He looked through a desk on the other side of the room. There was a collection of magazines the twins had been on the covers for- as well as some pictures of One specifically that he didn't know had existed. Unknown to his brother, he had been roped into doing some solo modeling and other things against his will. He was filled with disgust as the memories of that flooded back into him.

Either this man was a fan of theirs, or otherwise knew them, either way, he had absolutely singled them out at the bar earlier and had specifically tried to drug both of them. One shuddered at the thought of what would have happened if he had succeeded on any level.

His panic was completely gone. He shook, he felt rage, he felt fulfilled. He was not one to be sickened by the sight of blood, and he looked down at the body with more anger than satisfaction.

He looked through the other drawers of the desk but found nothing else of interest to him- some pills, some opiates and small bags of cocaine, none of which surprised him. The twins had been pressured into heavy drug usage by their manager, but it wasn't a pleasurable experience and it didn't stick with either of them once they were free. It was a dark time.

He pulled a phone out from the man's pocket and looked through his messages, but found nothing of interest aside from his work schedule for this week and a message to who was probably his boss saying he wouldn't be able to make it in tomorrow due to an opportunity he couldn't pass up. One's stomach turned and he put the phone in his pocket.

He put his shirt back on, grabbed the magazines from the desk, and concealed them along with the knife under his shirt and went to exit the room.

 

Locking the door behind him, he walked from the apartment as nonchalantly as possible. When he got back to the car, he inhaled deeply and held his breath for a few moments before pinching the bridge of his nose and trying to think clearly. He had never felt more disgusting in his life- if he didn't have so much to do he would have gotten home and drank himself into a coma to forget what he'd done. He put the knife, phone and magazines in a black plastic garbage bag he'd brought with him, started up the car and went home.

He put the GPS in the bag as well once he'd gotten to the house, along with his gloves and jacket. He sat in the car for a few minutes, trying to figure out what to do- he considered burning everything, but that might not be the best idea to do at the house.

He left the bag in the car and went inside.

He took another shower and changed his clothes, putting his previous ones in a bag that he'd add to the other bag out in the car. He went upstairs to check on his brother, carefully opening the door, aware that his brother was a light sleeper, and hoping he'd stay asleep.

Two seemed to be sleeping soundly- One put a hand on his forehead. He'd cooled down, his pulse was fine. One turned the fan to point away from him and stared at him for a moment, studying him with burdened sadness, before smiling to himself and going back downstairs.

He was exhausted, but he had a lot to do, and not much time to plan on how to do it. The sun was coming up.

He tore a page off the memo pad on the fridge, leaving his brother a shaky note on the table, then left, driving off in the car once again.

 

Two awoke with a crippling, pulsing headache- vision blurry, body aching all over. Drenched in a pool of his own sweat, he took off his shirt and laid in bed motionlessly, trying to gather the willpower to get up.

Eventually he sat up weakly, brought himself to his feet and went to change into a fresh set of clothes. He shuffled slowly to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face- which immediately made him feel nauseous. He kneeled down and vomited into the toilet and laid down on the floor after. The tile was cold and comforting.

He felt well enough to stand back up after a while and slowly brought himself to his feet again, dragging himself downstairs, expecting to find his brother but his brother was nowhere to be seen. He found the note left on the kitchen table, picking it up to read it.

_Be back ASAP._   
_Text if you need anything._   
_Drink lots of water_

He involuntarily sighed and felt his heartbeat increase- the note made him nervous. He didn't realize how thirsty he was until he stopped to think about it and leaned into the sink to pour a glass of water, downing it quickly as possible, before having a coughing fit and pouring another, drinking this one more slowly.

He went outside to find the car was gone. His mind raced as he desperately tried to remember what had happened last night and tried to think of why his brother would have left by himself. He went back inside, laid down on the sofa and texted his brother.

_"where are you"_

He stared at his phone impatiently as he waited for a response, eventually becoming too exhausted to hold the phone up. He put it on the floor and stared down at it until he eventually got a reply.

_"Sorry, was driving. How are you feeling?"_

Two sat up as he responded, relieved to hear from his brother.

_"i feel awful, where are you"_

He shifted around uncomfortably as he waited a few moments before receiving a reply.

_"I was afraid of that. I'll pick you up some medicine + food."_

_where are you_  
Two fidgeted nervously as he asked again. A few minutes went by with no response, so he impatiently sent another text.

_"i feel awful. i dont know why"_

_"Do you remember anything from last night?"_

_"no, pleae tell me where you are"_

_"You got bad food poisoning, we went out for dinner. I need to drive, I will text you again ASAP."_

Two took a deep breath and didn't respond. He got up from the sofa and paced around, getting a wet towel to put on his forehead. He laid back down on the sofa and tried to fall asleep to no avail, so he stared at the ceiling, clutching his phone and waiting. He received another text after about an hour.

_"Can I call you?"_

Two called him instead of responding. His brother picked up almost immediately.

"Hey, tell me you're feeling better."

"A little." At this point, Two gave up trying to ask where his brother had been. Every time he asked he felt nauseous again, and he was finally starting to feel better, so he wanted to stay that way.

"I'll be home soon. I'm picking you up dinner and coming home."

Two clutched his forehead and smiled to himself faintly.  
"Okay."

"Do you need anything while I'm out? It's not a problem to stop somewhere."

"No." Two just wanted to see his brother as soon as possible.

"Okay. I'll be back soon."

"Okay." Two answered weakly.

"Take it easy. Bye."

"... Bye."

Two sighed, getting up to go sit outside on the front step and wait for his brother. The sun was going down and the air was pleasantly cool with a slight breeze. His body pain had subsided a little- his throat burned and his back hurt, but he no longer felt nauseous. After around a half hour, his brother arrived parking the car in front of the garage. Two smiled as One got out and came over to sit beside him, placing a hand on his forehead, then checking his heartbeat, then checking his pulse from his wrist. Two just smiled weakly, not asking questions or putting up a fight.

One smiled at him sympathetically.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay." It hurt for him to talk, so he tried to keep it short. One picked up on this.

"Well," One continued quietly, smiling thoughtfully. "I'd love to sit here with you, I really would, but I've got cold groceries and hot food to bring in."

He got back up to his feet and Two followed him to help.

"No, I've got it, go inside and it down."

Two obediently went back inside and waited. After getting some fresh air, the warmth of the house was refreshing. It had gotten cold outside as he was sat outside waiting, but it had seemed to do him more good than harm. He had a lingering headache and some body pain, but nothing compared to earlier.

One brought bags in, setting them on the kitchen table as he put food away. Two leaned against the wall next to him, watching and smiling, relieved that his brother was back.

"Sit down." One smiled at him and put a takeout container on the kitchen table. Two sat down as instructed as his brother continued to put things away.

"Plain rice and chicken, easy on the stomach. If you feel well enough to, please, please eat."

Two happily did as he was told. He felt like he hadn't eaten in days. One sat across the table from him, watching him carefully, holding his head in his hands. He sighed to himself in relief. Two looked up, embarrassed to be eating so quickly, and slowed down. One smiled empathetically without taking his eyes off of him as he finished eating.

"You got pretty bad food poisoning last night as soon as we got home. It didn't really kick in until we had a few drinks. You went to bed pretty early, but you were sick all night." One looked down at the table as he talked and avoided eye contact. He pulled some medicine boxes out of a plastic bag and put them on the table, only to pick them back up to read the boxes over.

"Once every four hours for the stomach medicine." He slid it over to Two's side of the table.

"Then up to four aspirin and two acetaminophen every eight hours." One got up, took the empty plate and briefly squeezed his brother's shoulder.

"Go get started on those right away."

"Thanks for taking care of me." Two looked up at his brother, who smiled but said nothing in return. Two got up and took the boxes into the bathroom. One watched him cautiously, sighing as he closed himself in the bathroom.

Two returned a few minutes later, leaned against the kitchen wall and stretched.

"How are you feeling?" One asked again.

"Tired."

"Why don't you go get some rest?"

"Can we put on a movie instead? So I can pretend to concentrate on something."

One smiled. "Whatever you want. Go sit down then."

"Can you pick out something awful?" Two asked as he went over to lay down on the sofa in front of the television.

"Sure." One went into the closet where they kept their movie collection and rummaged around for something to put on. Two crossed his arms and looked up at the ceiling as One returned and put on the movie.

"Worst I could find, I promise." One laughed faintly as he put the movie on and sat on the adjacent sofa.

As the movie went on, Two got up to go into the kitchen. His brother turned around to watch him.

"What is it?"

"Thirsty." Two downed a glass of water before returning, this time sitting next to his brother instead of on the other sofa. He carefully laid down, putting his head in One's lap before returning his attention to the movie.

One looked down at him and pet his hair gently. He focused all his attention on him as he relived what had happened during the last 24 hours. Two looked exhausted, as if he was struggling to stay awake.

"Am I not allowed to know where you went today?" Two asked quietly as he kept his eyes on the television. One wasn't prepared to talk about it, but he had a feeling it wouldn't stay a secret forever.

"Don't worry about it."

"... Okay."

One cautiously placed a hand on his forehead and his other over his heart.

"I'm feeling okay now." Two said quietly before One had the chance to ask. He folded his hands over the hand One placed on his heart and let out a deep sigh, smiling.

One wondered if he'd be able to sleep soundly ever again after what had happened. His brother was safe and for now that's all that mattered to him. He looked down at Two, studying him fondly as he watched the movie, clearly trying not to fall asleep.

When the movie was over, Two sat up slowly, stretched and rubbed his eyes.

"It's time for you to get to bed."

Two slowly got up, stretching again before heading for the stairs. One stayed where he was, turning to keep an eye on him.

"If you need anything I've got my phone on, text me. I'll be up for a while."

"Why?" Two replied quietly and turned around, halfway up the stairs.

"I'm not tired."

"I'll stay up with you."

"I won't have it. Get some rest." One smiled at the gesture. His brother was dead on his feet and needed as much rest as he could get. One didn't know the next time he'd be able to sleep himself. Two didn't argue or question him, but returned his smile and went up to his room for the rest of the night.

"Goodnight."


	17. vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one tries to distract himself from what he's done by abandoning the situation altogether for a few days

Train stations tended to make One nervous- but he really wanted them to get away for a while, and as soon as possible. He wanted to forget what had happened in the last couple of days.

They decided to take a trip by train to a neighboring city- they had nothing specifically planned other than hotel reservations. They'd considered taking a flight to somewhere farther away, but neither of them were really feeling like tackling the stress that flying caused. Airports were packed, luggage checks were an absolute nightmare and even travelling first class, the flights always tended to be uncomfortable and cramped for them.

One hadn't gotten more than a couple of hours sleep since the incident despite his best efforts, and both he and his brother were aware it was taking a toll on his health. He was irritable and borderline dead on his feet. Despite this he tried his best to be civil and pleasant.

Their train finally arrived at the station. They'd gotten business class seats under the impression they'd be quieter. Two put their luggage in the compartment above their seats and they sat down, One next to the window and his brother next to him. Trains may have been less stressful than airplanes, but they were slower.

"I can wake you up when we get there if you'd like." Two was aware that his brother wasn't getting enough sleep but had decided not to ask him about it. He was worried and had planned on asking him if he was alright if it continued after their trip, but for now he just wanted to be as supportive and optimistic as possible.

One hadn't actually replied to his brother and instead looked out the window with exhaustion as the train finally departed.

Two spent the majority of the trip silently on his phone, letting his brother rest while he looked for restaurants and attractions they could visit when they arrived. It would be late evening by the time they got there and got checked into their hotel, but they'd have time to find a restaurant or somewhere to have some drinks, provided One felt up to it. One had closed his eyes and presumably fallen asleep shortly after the train had taken off, much to his brother's liking, as he was relieved to see his brother getting some peaceful rest.

Two watched dutifully for their stop, shaking his brother gently when they finally came to it. The ride must have been about four hours, but it was laid back and relaxed and overall a nice change of pace.

Carrying their suitcases with his brother half asleep behind him, they left the terminal and signaled for a taxi. Two put the cases in the back seat and sat in the front, pulling up locations on his phone and discussing something with the driver. One sat behind the driver's seat and sighed, exhausted, not paying very close attention to what the driver and his brother were talking about. His brother looked back at him and flashed him a content smile as they drove off.

The massiveness of the city intimidated One to a degree- it could have easily been twice the size of theirs, but it was all foreign to him. As he zoned out in the back seat, his phone vibrated- his brother texted him.

"this is weird"

One looked at him for a few moments before replying.

"What's weird?"

He received no reply, so he tried paying more attention to the conversation him and the cab driver were having- they talked about nearby restaurants, sightseeing and bars. They were only staying for a few days and were quite content with being away from home, so they haven't made any real plans and were just going to wing it on their own schedule.

After an arduous, traffic filled ride across the city they'd come up on their hotel. Two paid the driver, politely thanking him before helping his brother out the back seat and taking their bags.

The hotel they were staying at must have had over 40 floors. The receptionist greeted them, handing them their key cards after verifying their reservations and offering to bring their bags up to the floor they were staying on, but One declined.

"We can carry our own things."

The receptionist nodded once in understanding. "Suit yourself."

Two awkwardly smiled and looked away in embarrassment as they made their way to the elevators. Their key cards indicated they were near the top of the building on floor 35.

In the elevator, Two sighed and looked over at his brother, who was leaning against the elevator wall with arms impatiently folded.

"Would it kill you to be a little nicer to people? These people are paid to haul other people's things around."

"You look nice today." said One smugly in response, trying not to focus on the last time got upset with him for being short with someone. Two smiled slightly despite trying not to, rolled his eyes and looked away, flustered by his brother's response.

"Not quite what I meant."

People came and went on the elevator as it went up, both of the boys getting a little more impatient as it went on. It would have been quicker to take the stairs. Eventually they made it up to their floor and to their room.

It was a fairly fancy hotel with fairly fancy rooms to match- two beds, kitchen area- and a balcony overlooking the city. Two always got a little excited over hotels- his brother guessed it had to do with the idea of freedom when they were living in their manager's van.

Two happily collapsed on one of the beds, taking out his phone and curling up on his side, smiling up at his brother, who sat down across from him on the other bed.

"I got some recommendations from that cab driver."

"Oh yeah? Did he tell you where we can get wasted?"

"Yeah. Do you want to spend the entire trip being sick?" Two smiled as he navigated through his phone. One sighed, but didn't answer him. He would have been plenty happy being sick away from home. He stood up, stretched and looked out over the balcony.

"It's late. Let's just grab something to eat and call it a night after." One pulled his suitcase up onto his bed and unzipped it to look for his coat as his brother sat up.

"Are you feeling up for it? I'm sure we can get food delivered here." Two watched his brother as he put his coat on and headed for the door.

"Nah, come on, let's go have fun."

 

They navigated the city streets by foot- One becoming increasingly upset with himself for not making any sort of prior reservations, as every restaurant they tried to stop at was full. Despite attempts to bribe greeters into finding them a table for reasonably large sums of money, they could not find one.

Eventually they found seating at a pub- a very loud, high energy cramped pub, but they were both happy just to find somewhere to sit down. They were sat across from each other at a small square table near the window, catching the noise from both inside and out. Two ordered them both drinks- his brother being unwilling to talk over so much noise, but trying his best to be patient and in high spirits for both of their sakes.

As their drinks came out, One got up to find the restroom. His brother thought about texting him to ask if he was alright, as he usually did not use public restrooms since they were usually disgusting- but he ultimately decided against texting him and instead just waited for him to come back before starting his drink. All the pub had was beers and neither of them were particularly beer drinkers, but it went along with the novelty of being in a pub well enough. They also didn't serve particularly light food, which One was not happy about, as he was more conscious about his figure than his brother was.

He came back a few minutes later, sitting back down across from his brother and smiling, still lacking the patience to speak up. Their food came out a few minutes later, along with another round of drinks. Two kept an eye on his brother as he slowly ate- One was seemingly disappointed with his food and ate slowly and begrudgingly.

"Can we get out of here?" Two spoke up after they'd finished their drinks. He had a feeling his brother was purposely not trying to rush him, but the atmosphere was starting to get to him too. "I'm getting a headache."

One paid for their orders and they were out the door, Two nearly tripping over himself on the way out, his brother putting a hand on his shoulder to stabilize him. At that point they were both exhausted, and a little drunk, but content. Getting out was a nice distraction for One, as was just being with his brother under amicable circumstances.

"How are you feeling?" One asked his brother as they slowly made the trek back to the hotel.

"Doing good." Two replied after a pause. He had a lingering headache, he was sluggish- but he was happy, and so was his brother.

"Sorry I picked such a bad place to eat." He continued.

"I'm the one who insisted we go out, this is on me." One looked over at his brother as they walked. Curiously enough, he was less exhausted than he was when they left, even after drinking- or perhaps he was still exhausted, but in higher spirits.

Two tripped again when they made their way back to the hotel. The receptionist came over to make sure he was alright, which he was, and his brother shooed her away as they walked slowly to the elevator.

"I'm not drunk."

"Okay." One said as he put their floor number into the elevator and started their journey upward. They leaned against the back wall and waited in silence as the elevator arduously picked people up and dropped them off on the way up.

Two leaned against his brother and drearily rested his head on his shoulder.

"Your hair smells nice." He smiled and shut his eyes. One smiled nervously in response, inhaling sharply and looked off to the side as more folks came and went, a little embarrassed about his brother leaning on him. Eventually they made it to their floor and One shook his brother gently, who evidently dozed off and took a few moments to be aware of his surroundings as they left the elevator.

When they got back to their room, Two again dramatically collapsed onto his bed. One watched him for a moment before going off to the bathroom.

He looked in the mirror, realizing he looked as bad as he felt- it was humid and his hair was disheveled as a result. Managing climate changes was the worst part of the seasons changing. He told himself he'd fix himself up in the morning when he had more energy.

He considered forcing himself to vomit- a habit he hadn't quite broken from the old days. He started to ponder if the food they had would wind up making him ill later. Maybe the exhaustion from forcing it out would help him get some sleep.

Better safe than sorry. He didn't want to take a chance on being ill the next day. He turned on the sink to cover up the noise of him vomiting- He'd gotten more discreet about it as time went on, but the running water was a habitual precaution and the noise soothed him.

When he was finished, he washed his face with a wet towel and went back out into the main room to find Two had already passed out. It was a little strange for him to be asleep before him- they were both aware of Two's insomnia which persisted through even the worst days.

One checked his phone as he went to lay in his bed to find his brother had managed to send him a goodnight text before falling asleep. He smiled to himself and looked up at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come to him.


	18. cigarette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one gets a phone call

One winced in the harsh light of the bathroom as he sat on the edge of their hotel room's bathtub, letting his brother straighten his hair for him. Despite getting a decent night's sleep, he felt drained, struggling to keep his eyes open and struggling to stay upright. The heat from the hair straightener and the gesture of his brother carefully running his fingers through his hair was relaxing to him and made it even more challenging to stay awake.

Two shook his shoulder gently.

"If you want, I can carry you around until you get your strength back. That way I don't need to worry about you falling over in the street."

He smiled to himself as he continued to straighten his brother's hair.

"Or we could get you a wheelchair," he joked, "and I can wheel you around."

One lightheartedly jabbed his side in response to show he was in good spirits despite being exhausted- but Two was not expecting this and dropped the hair straightener on his leg briefly before One recoiled in surprise and the straightener fell to the floor. He laughed nervously- the burn would leave a mark, but nothing more serious than that. Two kneeled down on the floor to get a better look at his brother's leg, but his brother pushed him away.

"I'm fine. If you were trying to wake me up, you did it." One rose to his feet, extending a hand to help his brother up as well, who was obviously embarrassed about dropping the straightener on him.

Two let out a nervous chuckle and avoided eye contact, trying not to overreact to his own carelessness. He had a history of being ticklish and being clumsy as a result, but his brother wasn't the type to mess with him or exploit it purposely.

They finished getting dressed and prepping to go out for the day. Two stepped out on the balcony to take a look around- it was cloudy and damp, which he didn't mind, but his brother and humidity didn't get along very well. Despite this he'd try to make sure they had a worthwhile day and try to keep his brother preoccupied and in high spirits. Two knew something was eating at him, and he was deeply saddened that his brother wouldn't share it with him, but he'd do the best he could to make sure his brother could be happy.

They had a leisurely walk down into the subway, buying some transit passes then continuing down a few sets of stairs to wait for the train. The underground station was packed with people waiting, and One got a little nervous as a result- but after not too long the train approached, letting off more people than it let back on. It was crowded, but not as crowded as they'd assumed it would be.

There were no seats left by the time they got on- so Two held onto one of the metal poles, his brother beside him, and they were off after a couple more minutes.

There were a few stops between where they were and where they were going - as a novelty, they'd decided on visiting a small zoo on the other side of the city. It was Two's idea entirely, and One was ambivalent towards it, but wasn't going to deny his brother something that might make him happy. Two tended to like sightseeing and tourism more than his brother, but they could both benefit from a low stress activity. The only real problem was the weather - it threatened to rain all morning and showed no signs of clearing up.

Every time the train stopped to let people off, an equal amount of new people would come on, so no seats were freed up. One thought subways were one of the dirtiest and lowest forms of public transit, but his brother quite enjoyed the ride, so he tolerated it to the best of his ability.

One's phone vibrated in his pocket- he looked at his brother as he took it out to find an incoming call from a number he didn't recognize. He tilted the phone towards his brother so he could see it, who shrugged in response. The only people who should have their number were their doctors and pharmacists, but even then there shouldn't be any reason they'd be getting calls.

The phone stopped vibrating and no message was left. Whoever called must have had the wrong number.

"Want me to call them back?" Two asked as his brother went through his contacts to make sure he didn't recognize the number.

"It's fine." One slid the phone back into his pocket and sighed silently, a little stressed from the call.

The train stayed packed until they came to their stop. As they stepped off the train, One went through his bag to find a pack of cigarettes, lighting one as they went up the stairs and out of the terminal. Two was fairly sure they couldn't smoke in the terminal, but wasn't going to say a word- they were back outside above ground in a matter of moments anyway.

The sky was still cloudy. They decided to go into a pharmacy to see if they could purchase some umbrellas once One was done smoking.

They picked up some compact umbrellas that One could fit in his bag until they needed them- and One picked up a couple packets of gum, knowing he might have to curb his desire to smoke. Neither of them smoked cigarettes very often, but One was aware he smoked more when he was stressed, and a lot of things were factoring in on him feeling stressed right now. Two picked up on this as they left the pharmacy and tapped his arm thoughtfully.

"Are you sure you're up for this?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

One smiled at his brother. "Yeah."

He appreciated Two's enthusiasm and positive attitude, and wanted to be a good sport for his sake.

They walked to the entrance of the zoo, purchased tickets and entered. It wasn't as crowded as they'd imagined, but it was a little underwhelming. The zoo was small and dull- still, they leisurely walked around and saw what it had to offer.

Again, One's phone started going off. He pulled it out of his pocket to be met with the same number that called before, staring at the screen until it went to voicemail. Again, no message was left. Stifling a sigh, he slid the phone back into his pocket, then rummaged back through his bag to find his cigarettes.

"I don't think we can smoke here." Two said sympathetically as his brother paused, trying to conceal his irritation before putting his hands in his pockets and staring uneasily off to the side.

"Let's go." Two said to his brother softly. "You're stressed, I don't like that."

One didn't argue with him- or answer him at all, but sighed in defeat as they left the zoo. They decided to pick up a quick meal at a fast food chain before heading back to the subway.

By the time they were done, it had started raining heavily. Unfolding their umbrellas to shield them from the rain as best as possible, they walked briskly back to the subway entrance. The trains were unfortunately cram packed- probably with people who had hoped to outrun the rain, but failed as much as they did. Putting their umbrellas away to board, they were yet again stuck standing up- which was more uncomfortable than before, since it was more crowded.

Two looked over at his brother, who was staring off into the distance, impatiently biting his lip as the train took off. The humidity had ruined their hair- One's hair becoming a wavy, staticy mess. He was usually quick to complain about it and fidget with it, but he kept quiet this time, which concerned his brother deeply. Two briefly squeezed his brother's arm.

"Is there something going on?"

One shook his head no in response and forced a smile. Turning his head to look over at his brother, his expression softened and the smile became more genuine. He didn't want to worry him, but he was becoming increasingly aware he was probably doing just that. They briefly made eye contact and Two smiled back.

"Well... if you want to talk about it, I'm here." Two continued softly.

There was no fooling the person who knew him better than anyone else did.

It was still raining when they got to their stop and exited the terminal. Two opened his umbrella and prompted his brother to stay close to him so they could share it rather than both using individual ones. The gesture helped put One's mind at ease and he started to feel better as they made a more leisurely walk back to the hotel together.

The hotel was crowded with people coming and going- returning soaked from the rain and scrambling to get where they needed to be before the rain got worse.

One rested his head on his brother's shoulder in the elevator as they made a slow ascent up to their floor. The elevator stopped on nearly every floor, letting people on and off, but they didn't move from the corner until the elevator stopped where they needed to be. Two gave his brother a gentle shake and he lifted his head, then Two drearily guided him out and to their room.

After they changed into dry clothes, Two sat in the middle of his bed and stretched. One's phone went off for a third time, and he looked at his brother, who sighed impatiently and held out his hand.

"Let me answer it."

One nervously handed his brother the phone then purposely faced away from him, trying to control his anxiety before it became exponentially apparent.

"Hello." Two answered the phone. One had half hoped he'd put it on speaker, but he didn't.

"We're not home, no. We don't have a home phone either."

One held his breath as he listened.

"We. Me and my... brother?" Two looked awkwardly over at One, who was rummaging through his handbag pretending to look for something that didn't exist, as calmly as possible. There was a long bout of silence, Two could just barely make out a man talking over the phone.

"Is this something we need to schedule, or can we just drop by?"

Another pause.

"Okay, we'll be in touch."

Two put the phone down next to him on the bed.

"I guess they're trying to gather people for questioning about a bar we went to. One of the bartenders went missing later that night."

One said nothing in fear of his voice shaking if he replied. He instead nodded in understanding and put his bag down. Two looked over at him, picking up on his uneasiness and letting out a silent sigh.

"I'm sure it's nothing. Don't worry about it, These places collect your personal information so stuff like this always happens. It's not like we did anything, they're probably questioning everybody."

He had a point. One calmed down a little and let out a deep sigh before turning towards his brother.

"It's still stressful." He ran a hand down his face in fake relief as he continued talking.

"The humidity hasn't been kind to you." One smiled at his brother, trying to steer the conversation away from the problem as quickly as possible. Two sympathetically sighed and smiled.

"Don't make me self conscious."

"Let me fix your hair for you. Stay there." One got up and walked to the bathroom, coming back with supplies- their brush, heat brush, comb and some other things.

Two sighed and sat in the middle of the bed, hugging his knees as his brother sat behind him.

"At least your hair's _always_ a mess..." One stifled a chuckle as he ran his fingers through his brother's hair, inspecting his split ends. Two sighed and smiled to himself sympathetically- even if his brother was joking, it still made him self conscious. It was a lighthearted kind of self conscious, but it still embarrassed him a little. He felt he had a lot of flaws that his brother didn't have.

"It looks really nice pulled back though." One continued.

"So you've said."

One pulled his brother's hair back, held it up off his neck for a moment and smiled before letting go and having it fall back into place, carefully combing the knots out.

"I hope you're not worried about the police thing." Two said softly.

"We should probably leave in the morning." One continued running the comb through his brother's hair thoughtfully.

"Okay." Two wasn't going to question or fight him on it. If it was looming over him and making him worry, it was probably best for both of them to get it out of the way as soon as possible.

One ran his fingers through his brother's hair as he combed it. His hair was coarse and damaged, but safe and familiar to him. Two didn't spend as much time taking care of himself, and it worried One, but he ultimately found it charming. It probably wasn't something that would change, but it wasn't a flaw. It was a weird comfort to him, something unique to his brother.

Two slowly leaned back into his brother as he continued fixing his hair. One sighed patiently and smiled.

"I can't do anything like this. Lean forward."

Two didn't respond or move- evidently having fallen asleep as his brother fixed his hair. One softly touched his brother's forehead to make sure he wasn't coming down with a cold before pausing for a few moments, carefully getting out from behind him and lowering him onto his side.

Two was a very light sleeper, so One was surprised he didn't wake back up- he stayed out cold, lying half curled up on his side. He looked peaceful- and One found his own comfort in it.

Two had a track record for falling asleep when he was relaxed- some times were more alarming than others. On more than one occasion he had dozed off in the hot tub out in their patio, running the risk of drowning himself. It was one of the rare occasions where One had gotten upset enough to raise his voice at him, but Two laughed it off, which made One's anger melt away. It still happened on occasion after that incident, but One learned to keep a more watchful eye on him to make sure he didn't hurt himself.

He'd also fallen asleep in the shower before- his brother only realizing when he heard the crash of him falling onto the floor. For a while, One would run the hot water downstairs while his brother was in the shower in hopes that he'd use it up, forcing Two to be uncomfortable enough to stay awake showering. That stopped working after a while. The master bathroom had a separate shower and a large tub, so One decided he'd take a bath while his brother showered to keep an eye on him. They weren't shy or uncomfortable around each other, and One would talk to his brother to make sure he was awake. It worked well enough.

One let out a deep sigh, carefully placing a pillow under his brother's head and turning off the room light before laying in the other bed, staring over at him thoughtfully until he was calm enough to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> back on track writing


	19. brothers

The train ride home in the morning was nearly silent- it was early enough where many folks took the opportunity to get some extra rest before they reached their destinations.

One was barely able to rest the previous night, leaning forward in his seat, covering his eyes with his hands. He didn't have the energy to hide his stress from his brother- and it probably would have been a poor attempt to hide it anyway.

Two looked over at his brother and smiled to himself- he wanted to offer some words of encouragement but knew that One wouldn't listen. It was best to get this ordeal out of the way so they could get on with their lives. He understood the stress, but was unable to share it since he had no memory of what happened that night.

One was unsure of what information he should share with his brother, if any, about the night he blacked out. He didn't know how he'd react to it, or what would be an appropriate response, or if it would hurt or help them at the police station. He ultimately decided, for now at least, that he wouldn't share information about that night with Two. If Two knew nothing, he couldn't risk saying something that would get them in more trouble than they already were.

One had a skill for being persuasive and fabricating stories on the spot, having a history of coaxing people into giving him what he wanted, the most recent experience of this saved his life. He was a smooth talker and a convincing story teller- his brother, not so much. Two was too honest and trusted people too much for his own good. He didn't deserve the stress this could cause for him.

Two sighed thoughtfully and extended a hand to rub his brother's shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. One gently took his hand and moved it off and away from him.

"Sorry." Two said embarrassed, staring at his brother for a few moments before going back to minding his own business. The rest of the trip home was made in silence.

One had arranged for a cab to meet them once they were off their train, not being in the mood to struggle finding one or waiting for one. The cab drive home was made in uncomfortable silence. They dropped their luggage off at home, instructing the cab driver to wait a moment, before heading back out to the police station. One wanted the ordeal behind them as quickly as possible, and it would be good for their reputation for that to be the case.

The police station was in the heart of their city, but a surprisingly quiet and dull street. Still feeling embarrassed from earlier, Two hadn't said a word since the train ride home. They exchanged a nervous glance as they walked into the station, the tension affecting Two heavily now as well.

It was a very clear and bright building, a strange contrast to the outside. They were met shortly by a sheriff, who leisurely got up from the desk he was working at to greet them.

"We've been waiting for you boys." The man gestured for them to follow him. "Come on, both of you."

The sheriff led them down a short hallway to a small dimly lit office and opened the door, ushering them inside while he stood in the doorway.

"Have a seat, both of you. Our detective just wants a few words with you."

Two sat farthest from the door, One stayed standing for a moment.

"I don't like being told what to do." One said to the officer, who was slightly taken aback. Two looked away and pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing this wasn't the place to make a scene. Sometimes his brother's arrogance was charming, but now was not one of those times.

"You're in a police station, I think you'd best do what you're told."

"Are we being arrested?" One stared at the sheriff with mild irritation as his brother refused to look their way.

"You'd know if you were being detained. If you're not in hurry you can stay standing there, but if you have better places to be I suggest you take a seat so I can get the detective in here for questioning."

Refusing to break eye contact, One inhaled sharply and slowly sat down. The sheriff carefully backed away from the door before turning and leaving. One looked over at his brother, who actively avoided looking back at him, awkwardly fidgeting with his hair, hoping his brother wouldn't say anything to him. One stared at him curiously for several moments before the sound of footsteps approached, accompanied by a man small in stature, holding a collection of folders.

"I'm not going to waste your time if you don't waste mine", he said, sitting at the desk in front of them and going through some files. One's attention jumped back and forth between the man's face and the folders he had placed on the desk.

"You've heard of the Black Door, bar that opened up not too far from here- well, it re-opened under the new name, not too long ago, but I guess it's not new."

One thought for a second. "Doesn't ring a bell."

The man passed some photos over the desk to him, which he begrudgingly and sluggishly picked up to examine. There were clear images of the outside of the bar they'd went to, clear images of the inside too. One nodded once in understanding.

"Oh yeah, we were there the other day. Don't really remember places by name if we don't plan on going back."

"This is about the man tending bar that night. Mid 40's, black hair, glasses. White man, a little on the heavy side. He went missing that night."

One was a little more familiar with the bartender than he wanted to remember. He paused, eyes focused on the desk while he feigned trying to remember before focusing on the fact that he'd went _missing_. The man didn't say he was dead, just missing.

"Yeah, I remember him." One crossed his legs and leaned back in the uncomfortable wooden chair. Two watched them both attentively but silently, leaning forward, , not knowing what to add and being scared to speak unless he was directly spoken to.

"Do you remember him exhibiting any strange behaviour?" The man continued.

"Compared to what? We didn't know him. We've never seen him before." One paused, trying to be careful not to sound too defensive.

"I mean, he offered to buy us our drinks. He was a little friendly for our liking." He paused. "Again, we have no reference point for this man. We just ordered drinks, got sick and left, simple as that."

The man gestured to Two, who said nothing, but had been very attentive the entire time. He made eye contact expectantly with the man questioning them, but didn't know what to do beyond that.

"You've been quiet," The man finally said. "Don't you have anything to add?"

"We overdid it," One cut the man off before Two could respond, gesturing to his brother vaguely. "He got violently ill, so we did the responsible thing and had a taxi take us home."

"So you were drinking heavily?"

"It was a _bar_."

"Did you have anything else in your system?"

One was growing increasingly annoyed and insulted with the man's line of questioning, but also grew confident in knowing they weren't actively being accused of any wrongdoing. He paused a moment, holding eye contact with the man before answering.

"What, like drugs? No."

"Are either of you on any mind altering medications or prescriptions?"

One clutched his temple impatiently before responding.

"I'm prescribed for anxiety and depression medication, but I haven't been taking them. My brother's clean."

"Can he not speak for himself?"

The tipping point for One's patience was being reached. He fidgeted with the photos he'd been passed earlier, flicking the corners of them, obviously irritated. He silently took a deep breath to help maintain his composure before answering.

"I don't appreciate you dragging my brother into this. He was sick for the entire evening before passing out on the stairs. I'd never seen him so ill. Luckily he doesn't remember what happened. When you find the man you're looking for, take his liquor licence away."

The man did not take kindly to One's tone and returned the gesture of trying to remain calm.

"Look, alright, we're questioning everyone who went to the bar that night that we have information on. We're not singling you out, and likewise, you don't get a pass based on your history or social standing."

One leaned back in his chair and blinked slowly, looking up at the ceiling and smiling flippantly, not offering rebuttal of any kind.

"You worked with the man's brother."

The smile disappeared from One's face, but he said nothing in return. He tried to recount the similarities between their manager and the bar tender in his head- the more he thought about it, the more he realized they could have been related, based on appearance. The revelation brought up a lot of uncomfortable questions in One's mind, but his thinking was cut short as the man continued talking.

"But I'm assuming you're going to say you didn't know that."

One was still leaned forward, hands folded between his legs, listening intently.

"... No, we didn't. Our manager didn't mix personal and business affairs. Didn't know he had any family. Assumed he didn't, but was never told otherwise."

"You were there when he died."

One stayed silent for a moment, his brain almost crossing wires- for a moment he wasn't sure who the detective was referring to when he said they were there when he died. Neither of them had any idea the bar tender had any family. One realized the situation they almost found themselves in could have been a lot worse than it was- he'd assumed the man had just found them attractive and wanted to take them home. Rejecting the man's advances, the only way he could do this was by drugging them.

One realized he may have desired to get revenge for his brother dying and do worse than that- but neither of them seemed like the kind of men who would have cared about each other enough to do such a thing. The bartender welcomed One's advances later that night- maybe that was all he wanted after all.

One looked the detective in the eyes and shook his head slightly, expecting him to continue on to make a point.

"What's that supposed to mean? He died of a chemically induced heart attack."

"I understand." the detective let out a sigh as he took out a pen to jot down something. One watched him impatiently and inhaled deeply to calm himself down.

"What information can we offer you? I don't know what you want out of us. We just got home from a trip- we dropped our bags off at home and _immediately came here,_ like good, obedient little boys. I am very, very tired, and I am cooperating with you, but I don't know what kind of information you're hoping to get out of us."

As the detective made eye contact with him, One's eyebrow twitched and he shifted in his chair.

"I was hoping you knew the man prior to seeing him in the bar."

"Just to reiterate, this man's been missing for like... three days?"

"Yes, about three days."

"You're questioning us about a man that's been missing a few days? What, did he rob a bank previously? Since when are people brought in for questioning about a man that's been missing for three days? He's not a child."

"You're asking for sensitive information we can't give you," The detective replied. "Who's doing the questioning here?"

One bit his tongue, looking the detective in the eyes and maintaining eye contact with him for an uncomfortable amount of time. Eventually the detective sighed and got up from his chair.

"We'll be in contact if we need any more information."

He extended a hand over the desk to shake One's, but One remained seated with his arms folded, still staring the man in the eye. Two nervously got up and accepted the handshake on his brother's behalf.

"How polite. Maybe we should have just brought you in for questioning."

The detective walked to the door and held it open for the boys, who wasted no time in excusing themselves from the police station.

That wasn't nearly as bad as Two imagined it would be and it was a huge weight lifted off his shoulders. He looked over at his brother cheerfully, but couldn't bring himself to smile, and neither could his brother. One hoped that would be the last time they had to see the police station again.

One ran his hand down his face and let out a relieved sigh as most of the tension left his body. He looked over at his brother, who looked a bit nervous and seemed to be avoiding eye contact.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. It's just a lot to think about." Two smiled assuredly at his brother before continuing. "It's a lot of pressure. I was scared to say anything."

"Well it worked out alright, I think."

"Think about it from my perspective... I don't remember that night. I mean it, I don't remember anything."

"It's probably better that way. You were sick as a dog when we got home." One paused, re-living the night in his head against his will.

"... I tried walking you up to your room, you collapsed on the stairs and vomited everywhere."

Two clutched his forehead and smiled awkwardly, embarrassed over what had allegedly happened. One watched him curiously, trying to suppress the memories of that night, before giving his shoulder a reassuring shake and signaling a taxi so that he could go home and get some actual rest.


	20. invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys get invited to a fashion show and after party

A few days had passed and they'd gotten back into the groove of everyday life. One woke up from his bed, stretched and tiredly stared at the ceiling. Slowly turning over to lay on his stomach, he was too comfortable to want to get out of bed. He slept well and long enough, but the lack of sleep he'd been getting previously was still taking its toll on him. Were it completely up to him he'd go back to sleep for a few hours, but he didn't want to worry his brother. With a sigh, he sat up, closed his eyes and ran his hand down his face before dragging himself out of bed and out into the bathroom.

The bathroom on their bedroom floor was small and cramped, and made him feel uneasy more often than not. He figured one day maybe they'd renovate the house to make it nicer, but at the same time wondered how long they'd be here. It was home of course, but there were a lot of other opportunities to be in better places. The only emotional tie they had here was that it was the beginning of a new life.

After washing himself up, he headed downstairs to find his brother awake, sitting on the floor resting his head on the coffee table, watching television with an almost empty mug of black coffee next to him. Two turned his head and smiled at his brother in acknowledgement as he heard him approach, coming over and kneeling down next to him, ruffling his hair gently. Two squinted tiredly at the gesture and smiled, but otherwise not moving from where he was.

One got back up to his feet and went over to the kitchen, grabbing the pot of coffee from the counter to refill his brother's mug with before returning to pour himself a mug of his own.

"You'll never guess what we got invited to." Two said, lifting his head off the table and stretching his arms and legs out, his brother turning his head to listen. Two slowly laid down on the floor on his back and drearily gestured to the table in the kitchen, where a small pile of mail sat- from the looks of it, they'd forgotten to check their mailbox for a while. On top of the pile sat an opened envelope, which One carefully opened to examine the contents.

"Fancy that." One said as he read on to find they'd been invited to a large fashion show happening not far from them. Passes for an after party had also been included in the envelope. Amused, One sat down at the kitchen table to read over the invitations again.

"From the sounds of it it's a pretty big event, but it's the after party I'm surprised we got invited into. I mean, we could buy our way into almost any show, but the party's pretty cool." He paused a moment before continuing. "Big event. Like, hundreds of people or more. Those were the days."

"Are we going? I think we should go." One scanned the papers one more time before getting up to stretch, looking over at his brother in anticipation of a response.

"What, really?" Two frowned in surprise at his brother's unforeseen enthusiasm, still lying on his back looking up at the ceiling. The invitations were funny, but he didn't think One would want to attend.

"Yeah, for old time's sake. It'll be fun." One yawned and looked back down at the papers. "This is tomorrow? They don't really give you much notice for these things, do they?"

"It's probably been sitting in the mailbox for the entire week. I keep forgetting to check the mail." Two's confused frown disappeared as he continued. "But if you actually want to go then of course we can. There might be a lot of people though. Do you think anyone will recognize us?"

"Probably. We're us. What are we going to wear? Should we get something? Let's go find something." He walked over to the coffee table and extended his hand to help his brother up, who groggily rose to his feet with his help.

One wasn't sure why he was up to this- but he had been feeling good these past few days and wanted to experience something different. It would be good for them to get out and do something different.

After they'd gotten ready to go out, they grabbed a cab to the shopping district on the other side of the city. Though clothes shopping was something they did often, it felt a bit more important this time. One wasn't very fussed about what he was going to wear and picked out an outfit with his brother's help- he tended to like more form fitting clothes for special occasions, buying himself a black silk shirt with a fancy ruffled front.

Strangely, his brother was a little more meticulous when it came to picking out something to wear- he seemed to be on board with this only after One expressed interest in going - then it excited him. He looked mainly at suits, and mostly aimlessly, not really knowing what he was looking for. Eager for his brother's approval, he'd find a suit he was interested in and turn to him for an opinion.

Eventually they found one that Two had more of an interest in- a dark mauve suit with a gold trim. A sales clerk noticed their interest and led them to the changing rooms so he could try it on.

It was an expensive store in a high class district- so of course there were clerks and security outside the changing rooms, which made One uneasy. Feeling patronized, he shot an impatient smile at the clerk before following his brother into the changing room to help him try on the suit.

The suit fit well enough, but unsurprisingly could have used some adjustments. Two stood awkwardly facing the mirror as his brother made a slow circle around him, straightening out the suit and trying to correct his posture. Knowing full well the clerk was impatiently waiting outside the stall, One took his time. He inhaled hopefully and made eye contact with his brother through the mirror, raising his brow expectantly.

"Do you like it?"

"Do you?" Two smiled hesitantly and asked his brother back instead of answering him. He did like the suit well enough, and One could tell. He smiled back and sighed at the returned question, sizing him up in the mirror before briefly making eye contact again, pausing, then helping his brother take the suit back off.

The clerk was right where they left him outside the stall.

"We're buying." The clerk nodded to One in response, taking the suit from him and making a brisk walk to the front desk to ring them up- the boys not matching the clerk's speed and taking a more leisurely stroll back to the front of the store.

"Do you do tailoring here?" One asked the clerk when he met him at the front desk. His brother looked off to the side in embarrassment, thinking the suit was fine as it was and wishing One would have run tailoring plans past him first. The clerk nodded, not looking up from his computer screen to answer.

"We do."

"How soon can it be done? We have last minute plans. We need it done today."

After a tense, lengthy pause the clerk nodded and looked up at One.

"We can do that." Taking the suit, he dialed someone on his phone and headed into the back room to make arrangements.

One smugly looked over at his brother with a satisfied smile on his face as his brother avoided eye contact, slightly agitated. While they'd both gotten used to people poking them around to tailor their clothes in the old days, Two hadn't grew to be comfortable with it as his brother had. It was a social activity and an invasion of personal space to him.

Keen on the fact his brother was actively avoiding making eye contact with him, One rested his hand on his brother's shoulder and squeezed it gently. Two's expression softened- then he smiled, still actively looking away from his brother.

"I guess I'm getting carried away, but you'll thank me." One's hand lingered on his brother's shoulder for a few seconds before he withdrew it, Two turning to face him in defeat as the irritation left his body. It wasn't in his nature to stay any level of upset, especially when his brother was looking forward to something so energetically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gonna get back on track with writing.... if anyone is still reading, hello hello, lots more to come :D


	21. mall food

One sat and watched with slight agitation as the tailor poked around his brother, making notes on what would need to be adjusted on the suit. Two was as uncomfortable as One was irritated, looking over at him and hoping he'd do the talking for him- he thought the suit had fit fine and didn't know what adjustments needed to be done. He didn't know what to say - if anything even needed to be said - to the tailor. The suit fit, it wasn't uncomfortable, Two didn't know what alterations needed to be done.

There wasn't a lot of verbal communication between them and the man taking the measurements- he would prompt Two to stand up straighter, turn around or hold his arms out but he did not ask for input, probably sensing that Two didn't know what needed to be changed either.

Growing impatient, One sighed and shifted around in the chair, trying to take his eyes off his brother, but wound up looking back at him within seconds anyway. He wasn't impatient that it was taking long, but he was growing restless watching a stranger poke around his brother in such a manner. It made him uncomfortable in a different way than his brother was experiencing.

"I think this'll do." The tailor paused before turning to One and offering a polite but forced smile, writing down some notes. "Leave the suit with us and we'll have it done by the morning at latest, but most likely tonight. We'll give you a call."

He handed One some receipts as his brother went and got changed back into his clothes.

  
It was late afternoon by the time they walked back outside. Two let out a sigh of relief and gently punched his brother's arm to show he was in high spirits despite how uncomfortable the past couple hours had been.

"You did good." One smiled awkwardly at his brother, only now realizing how uncomfortable the day must have been for him, and feeling a little guilty as a result. He eyed him up and down a couple times as they walked down the street, trying to read his body language, but he seemed genuinely alright now.

"It's nice to see you excited about something." Two paused before continuing. "But you can make this whole ordeal up to me by buying me a couple drinks."

"No can do, I'm not risking either of us making ourselves sick before tomorrow night. You can drink to your heart's content after then." One extended his arm around his brother's shoulder, smiling smugly before continuing talking, sensing his brother was about to cut him off.

"I will, however, take you out to dinner wherever you'd like."

One took his hand back and watched his brother as they walked on. After a few moments, Two pinched the bridge of his nose and smiled in defeat, accepting the offer for dinner. He really would have preferred those drinks.

Two was easy to please. They stopped in a mall food court and he grabbed some stale Chinese food, almost immediately forgetting how long of a day he'd had- his brother ordered a salad from the food place next to it. They sat across from each other at one of the uncomfortable metal tables the food court had to offer, One pretending to scroll through his phone- while instead he was watching with caution as his brother ate entirely too fast, posing the risk of choking on his stale noodles and hurting himself. Stifling a chuckle, One extended his arm over the table and placed his hand on his brother's forehead, lightly pushing him back a little, biting his own lips trying again not to laugh.

"It's not a marathon." Two paused as his brother talked to him, slightly embarrassed, moving his hand off of his head and before returning to eating at a more reasonable pace. He didn't return the smile and didn't offer a response but instead looked a little saddened. One would have found the behaviour charming if choking wasn't a very real possibility.

One went back to looking through his phone, alternating his attention between that and his brother. He hadn't touched his salad. Neither of them mentioned it.

After they were done eating they did some shopping around the mall to waste time- though the chances were slim, ideally the suit would be ready for pick up tonight rather than tomorrow so they wouldn't have to go out specifically to fetch it the next day. They'd probably be spending the entire day getting ready for the show, so the less to worry about tomorrow, the better.

Bags full of purchased garbage they didn't need, they loitered around a little while longer before heading back out. It was pleasantly warm, and it was becoming more apparent every day that the cold rainy season was coming to a close. The boys could tolerate the cold, but they both loved the warmth. On more than one occasion they had jokingly planned to move down south to a warmer state- and maybe one day they would, but for now they were happy where they were.

They leisurely walked a few blocks, killing as much time as possible and enjoying the sun despite the streets being as crowded as they usually were.

Eventually One's phone vibrated- and after a very brief phone call, he looked over at his brother with a grateful and genuine smile. The suit was ready to be picked up, and both of them were just about ready to go home and recover from being out in public all day.

They grabbed a taxi home after picking the suit up from the tailor, not wanting to carry all their bags home by foot. Sometimes walking home was a nice, sentimental experience - as very slowly they'd escape the crowds and noise to be left alone with each other. That was the nice part about living in a gated community- aside from the occasional domestic dispute in a neighbouring house, it was quiet and empty. Walking home felt rewarding and satisfying.

They put their bags down on the kitchen table and both dramatically collapsed on the sofa in front of the television. 24 hours from now, they'd be drunk at an upper class party, surrounded by people they didn't know or care about, same as the old days. Two would have been dreading it were it not for his brother being excited- it was always nice to see him looking forward to things, regardless of what they were.

"I really appreciate you entertaining me on this." One spoke to his brother without opening his eyes. "I don't even know why I want to go."

"It's an excuse to dress up and do something we don't normally do." Two replied softly, the long day seeming to finally take a real toll on him.

"Yeah, and we're probably going to both regret it and spend the next month being shut-ins, getting food and alcohol delivered every day and drinking ourselves sick, waking up on the living room floor in the afternoon."

Two smiled at his brother's wholesome attempt at being dramatic as he replied.

"That sounds nice."

Neither of them really missed their old lifestyle, neither felt they were fit to constantly interact with strangers in the way they used to. They were a league above everyone else- and absolutely deserved to feel that way after what they'd been through. Ideally tomorrow minimal people would recognize them and even less people would bother them. They were going to be there to reminisce on how things have changed, drink and enjoy the company of each other. They no longer needed to prove they were better than everyone else- they did that already and no more longed for peer approval.

  
It was going to be a long day tomorrow and a lot of preparation, so they mutually agreed to head to bed early.


	22. inadequacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the boys go to the show they prepared for

The boys helped each other get ready in the second story bathroom. One had his brother sit in front of the sink to bend his head into it so he could attempt to condition his hair. Two winced uncomfortably as he got used to it, eventually easing into the situation and relaxing as his brother very gently ran his fingers through his hair, pouring cool water over it to wash the conditioner out.

One knew that no matter what he did that his brother's hair would always be a knotted mess. He ran a brush through it a few times as he blow dried it gently. Two was on the verge of falling asleep as his brother continued trying to fix his hair.

One tapped on his shoulder to make sure he was awake- and he smiled, but didn't try to act any more alert than he was.

One sat his brother up straight and did his makeup- or his concealer at least, to even out his skin tone. Both of the boys had relatively clear skin, but Two tended to get red patches as a result of constantly rubbing his face and eyes when he was tired. He kept instinctively recoiling as his brother touched his face, becoming increasingly embarrassed that he didn't take good enough care of his skin.

"If you stay tense like this, you're going to wind up sweating this stuff off." One smiled patiently as he continued to fix his brother up. Two sighed and avoided looking in the direction of his brother, until he became more comfortable and his nerves eased up a little.

He had half expected a lecture from his brother on skincare despite him rarely bringing it up, but no lecture came. One had picked up on his brother feeling a little uncomfortable and hurried up the process a little.

"I'm getting carried away. I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Two replied after a few seconds of silence. "We're both looking forward to this. I'm just higher maintenance."

Two looked at himself in the mirror in front of him for a second, frowning but offering a light hearted smile.

"Like I feel a little inadequate compared to you."

One wasn't going to have this conversation- or rather, he didn't want to. He rolled his eyes, smiled and studied his brother through the mirror for a few moments in silence. He felt a little hurt that Two felt this way, but he didn't want to invite an argument right now.

Beauty is only skin deep. One found most of his brother's flaws charming, so long as they were harmless and didn't interfere negatively with his health. He was the only one privileged to see them anyway. To everyone else, they were both the same.

One extended a hand to help his brother out of his seat and they both changed into the clothes they'd be wearing tonight.

One wished he'd have put more thought into what he'd purchased to wear- but honestly he wasn't fussy. If he liked something, he liked it without second guessing it.

Once Two was done changing into his suit, it was his brother's turn to feel inadequate. The adjustments looked great. He looked great. He could pull off a suit flawlessly. One stared him up and down a few times before making eye contact with him and smiling hopefully, trying to contain his excitement.

"How do you feel?"

Two smiled sheepishly as he replied.

"I feel okay." He paused. "You look great."

Two was obviously trying to sway the conversation away from himself- One caught on and honored it, not wanting to embarrass him or make him nervous. Maybe he was getting too excited about tonight. Maybe he was making too big of a fuss over details they'd forget tomorrow. Suddenly, One was hit with a wave of embarrassment himself. Being excited was uncharacteristic of him. He'd have to intensively think about how to repay his brother for entertaining him through this whole ordeal.

Maybe he'd take him to an even bigger aquarium than last time. He loved aquariums.

  
They'd decided to leave early- getting there before most people meant good seats. They took a taxi to the other side of city where the show was being held.

Sitting in the back of the taxi, One noticed his brother was a lot calmer than he had been before- probably even calmer than he was. One became more anxious as time passed as he began to second guess himself on why he wanted to do this. He bargained with himself over it- the ordeal would be over tonight, there was nothing dreadful about the experience, and it was something different to do together.

The building the show was taking place at was huge- and judging by it, there were easily going to be five hundred or more people attending. Though generally the more crowded it was, the worse, it did mean they had less of a chance to be singled out. Even if it was a social event, One didn't come here to interact with people and he was sure his temper and impatience would get the best of him if he were forced to do so. Two knew him well enough and would speak for him in the past when people repeatedly tried to address him.

After their invitations were confirmed and their bags were checked, they headed in and took some seats near the front, relieved they had gotten here early. One looked through his phone in an attempt to busy himself while his brother would glance back and watch as the building slowly filled with people.

"It's just like the old days." Two said calmly to his brother, who paused but didn't look up from his phone. It was like the old days- the good parts of them anyway. The bad parts had scarred both of them and turned them off of events like this.

Two watched his brother a few moments in anticipation of some sort of response, but did not receive any as One continued to stare down at his phone. He sighed empathetically, reaching over to One and tucking his hair behind his ear and giving him a timid smile.

"You spent all that time doing our makeup and you're keeping your face hidden. At least let _me_ see you."

Two felt immediate guilt over bossing his brother around- if One was uncomfortable, he probably wasn't making it any better. To his relief, One put his phone down on his lap calmly and smiled, just barely moving his head to look over at him. Two shifted in his seat to better face him as more people came in, trying to look busy so that they'd be left alone as much as possible.

As the seats were filled, a couple people pointed in their direction- One ignored it, but Two was skeptical anyone was pointing at them or anyone in specific. No one could be that rude at a high class social event. Despite almost all seats being taken now and everyone chatting amongst themselves, it was still a lot quieter than it would have been outside or in a crowded restaurant. One hated raising his voice just so his brother could hear him, but he didn't have to. Some people knew how to use indoor voices.

The seats around them filled and One very slightly turned his chair to face his brother as they talked. He avoided eye contact with people, as eye contact was usually an invitation for conversation. Two, being more patient with people, would smile politely when he made eye contact with someone. A few people approached him to compliment his suit and ask him where he got it- asking also about One's outfit as well.

Two spoke on One's behalf to save him from carrying conversations. Given the opportunity, Two was good with people. He was polite and calm, he was genuine. One awkwardly watched him as he carried conversations with people around him- talking about the weather, places to shop, what was in this season, general small talk. Their varying communication skills made One feel a little uneasy. He didn't want to talk to people, but he envied how naturally it came to his brother. Their differences always caught him by surprise, and he was always genuinely charmed by them. He did put in an honest effort to return niceties when asked about his clothes or when people tried to start small talk, but it was exhausting to him. On the bright side, it would have been a lot worse did he have to speak up to do so.

As time went on, people started to get settled into their seats and resumed talking among the groups of people they came in with, much to One's relief. His brother extended a hand to gently squeeze his shoulder and looked over at him calmly. He tucked a stray strand of hair back behind One's ear as the lights dimmed.

People around them talked amongst themselves as the models came out one by one, hoping to set the scene for fashion trends for the upcoming season. One's attention was constantly divided between the models and looking over at his brother, who was very obviously enjoying himself and focusing on the show. He'd get excited and pull on One's arm and lean into his ear to remark on the clothing. He was in his element and it showed. It was hard for One to concentrate on anything but his brother.

One was glad they came. His brother agreed to come because One wanted to go, but he seemed to be having a great time himself.

The show itself lasted a little over half an hour. Afterwards, some designers responsible for the models came out to give brief speeches and share their thoughts on fashion trends for the season. Slowly the crowds trickled out of the room, some leaving, some more important looking people staying around and talking among each other. The boys stayed for the entire duration but chatted to themselves rather than paying attention.

The boys caught the attention of an older man, who walked over to greet them, still sat in their seats slightly turned to each other. Two turned his head up to politely smile at the man, but they remained seated.

"Fancy seeing you here. You sort of left the scene and dropped off the map for a while."

Neither of them recognized the man. He must have been connected to their manager or the design agencies they had modeled for. Neither of them made a point of remembering the people they worked with once they were free. One briefly made eye contact with the man and smiled as politely as possible.

"Hello." Two cleared his throat awkwardly before continuing. "No, we're still around, just expanding our horizons."

"Well, what brings you back here?" The man spoke confidently, slowly taking out his wallet and poking through it. "You boys were gone. No phone number on record, no address. It's a real shame. Do you live around here?"

"No." One answered before his brother had a chance to. He always got nervous over people prodding them for their address, especially after the incident at the bar. He wasn't going to give out their address lightly.

The man sighed sympathetically and extended what looked to be a business card to One, who politely took it, pretending to read over it. He had no interest in what his man had to offer them. He looked up at the man, making eye contact before nodding once.

"There are a lot of people who would love to see both you fellas back up there on the catwalk. Are you going to the after party?"

"We are." Two answered as One gently tucked the business card away in his front pocket after pretending to read it over once more, hoping the man would leave sooner rather than later. He could only be patient for so long.

"I see. Stay safe, don't hesitate to call me if you want to get back into the fashion scene."

"Thank you."

They watched the man walk out of the building before slowly turning to each other and smiling flippantly. One was glad they could smile together about this- the last time they'd agreed to any sort of modeling contract they were living in the back of a van for weeks at a time. That wouldn't happen again.

"I guess we should find this after party."

 

 

  
Inquiring about where the after party was being held with one of the designers, they were led down a hallway into a connecting room where some people were already gathered. One was relieved yet again the people here knew how to talk in an acceptable volume. An impressive, high class bar was in the middle of the room, with people loitering about and chatting to each other. Trays of expensive looking food were on tables lining the walls. They both grabbed some food and sat as far away from others as possible at an empty table.

"Want me to go get us drinks?" Two asked in between taking bites of his food. The poor boy always ate like he was starving, but One wasn't going to risk making him uncomfortable by bringing it up.

"I'm not really feeling it." One glanced over his shoulder at the bar as he took a deep breath. Accidentally making eye contact with a man making his rounds talking to some of the younger men and women sitting at the bar, he slowly looked away and pretended he did no such thing- but it was too late, and the man came over to greet them.

"Looking good." He pulled a seat out and sat between the boys, who were on opposite sides of the table. Two smiled shyly and looked down before looking up at the man, straightening his posture.

"Thank you." Two answered as his brother smiled patiently for a second, before letting his face fall back into a neutral frown.

"Great, actually. You look great. You do modeling?" The man's focus darted back and forth between the twins.

"Used to."

They were both uncomfortable with someone sitting between them. One wanted to take a bite of his food in protest, as an excuse to look busy and avoid talking, but his appetite was receding. He absolutely couldn't eat when he wasn't hungry.

"Yeah, I don't know why I asked." The man continued. "I mean you wouldn't be sitting here if you weren't connected somehow, yeah?"

"I guess not." Two smiled awkwardly, starting to feel impatient himself. One busied himself on his phone. The man seemed like someone he could easily get in a fight with if he concentrated too hard on what he was saying. His voice was grating and his body language made them both irritated. They could tell that this man was definitely a dirtbag.

"Are you boys signed now?"

"No." They accidentally replied in unison. They were surprised this didn't happen more often.

"I see." The man fumbled through his bags to look for something. "You interested in a rare opportunity?"

"No." One replied impatiently. Two was going to leave him to do the talking if need be.

The man paused for a second, taken slightly aback by the reply, before continuing to search his bag without skipping a beat.

"Well I guess it's a real big decision to make on the spot." He pulled some papers out of his bag, clipping a business card to it and sliding it over to Two.

"So why don't you think on it and get back to me? Sooner rather than later. Cell phone number's on the card."

One sighed silently to maintain his composure. This man would have no second thought about starting a fight if he raised his voice to him.

"Thank you." One replied, hoping this would dismiss the man, but he stayed seated for a while longer.

"You guys want any drinks?" The man looked at them both, now wholly aware they wanted him gone but making one last effort to turn the tables in his favor. Before they could answer, a couple of younger women caught the man's attention from the doorway and he excused himself in a hurry.

One moved his seat next to his brother's side, taking the papers and folding them up crudely to put away in his bag. They sat in silence for a few moments as the uncomfortable feeling of the conversation lingered.

"Still not feeling drinks?" Two asked, breaking the silence.

"Go get us something awful tasting." One smiled smugly. "To make that conversation pale in comparison."

Two lightheartedly punched his brother's shoulder as he got up and made his way to the bar. Two turned his head to keep an eye on him. It looked like he had attracted the attention of a small group of people sitting at the bar, who stood up and made small talk with him, complimenting his clothing as the bartender mixed their drinks.

In the right situations, he was really charismatic and polite, seeming to hold an amicable conversation with the group as he waited. People loved talking to him- and while he didn't like talking to them, he was very good at convincing them otherwise. One watched the exchange and smiled to himself. He felt as if he took his brother for granted too often.

One started briefly thinking about how lost he'd be without him- but his thought process was interrupted as Two turned around to face him for a second. One's heart sank for a moment and he instinctively swallowed, not looking away.

Two looked back at him for a few seconds before slowly turning back to face the other way, grabbing their drinks, politely excusing himself from the group and heading back to the table to sit next to his brother.

One tended to associate the taste of drinks with the situations that went along with them. This disgustingly sweet and fruity drink would be associated with being uncomfortable and confused. Without turning his head, he watched his brother drink from his glass- he looked a little saddened as he put the glass down and looked over at One, but smiling as they made eye contact for a second.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while. They watched as alcohol started to take its toll on some of the people who were there. With no warning, a woman decked a taller man in the face, knocking him off his feet. As the situation sank in, they both realized it was the man from earlier that sat with them. They looked at each other and smiled in satisfaction. One easily could have seen himself punching the man in the face as well, were he in a worse mood or his brother not there to be polite on his behalf.

They mutually agreed to be among the first to leave, in case things got worse and more serious fights erupted. Usually it would be fun to watch, but they didn't want to get involved.

The sky was pitch black by the time they were back outdoors, but it was a comfortable temperature. Two took out his phone to request a taxi.

"Want to walk home?" One asked as Two looked down as his phone.

"What? We're on the other side of the city." Two looked up at his brother to try and gauge if he was serious before continuing.

"I mean, if you really want to we can. It's just... a really long ways away. I mean, even the drive here was long. We could walk until we get tired and get a taxi from there."

One paused before answering. "Never mind. I didn't really think about it."

Two signaled the first cab they saw and they climbed in back, Two telling the driver the destination.

It was near midnight, but One was wide awake and feeling sentimental about the day. He would have liked to walk a while with his brother just to make the night last a little longer. Two sat to the left of him, relaxed, looking out the window and watching the cars pass as the taxi arduously started to navigate into the streets. The city was no less busy during the night. One watched him curiously and frowned to himself. After a few moments passed, he touched Two's arm, who turned his head forward away from the window but didn't look over at his brother.

"What's up?" Two asked quietly, his face not changing from the neutral expression he was wearing.

One inhaled deeply and looked down at his own hands before swallowing nervously. Gently, he took Two's hand in his and studied it, feeling his palm with his thumb. Two didn't move.

"Do you remember earlier how you told me you feel inadequate?"

One continued to feel his brother's hand with an uncertain sadness about him. Two looked at their touching hands before looking over at his brother. He knew what he was thinking.

"You're not." Two swallowed involuntarily before continuing.

"You're not inadequate."

One didn't respond, but brought their hands closer to him and rested his head on his brother's shoulder. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything. He wasn't going to say anything further. He didn't want to start an argument. Instead, he defeatedly smiled to himself as he studied their hands.

One felt his brother sigh heavily. In response, he folded Two's hand gently between both of his and held it there thoughtfully.

He was torn between the possibility of making his brother upset and the uncertainty of feeling like a lesser person compared to him.

"Sorry. Forget I said anything." One paused. "We're both good. We're okay."

A few moments passed.

"I didn't mean to get heavy. I hope you're not upset." Not sure what his brother was feeling. One took his hands back, keeping them folded on his lap as they made the rest of the ride in silence.

 

 

  
"Here's fine."

One had the taxi driver drop them off at the front gate, thanked him and left him a hefty tip for driving so far at this hour.

"Are we cool?" One softly asked his brother as he swiped his card to open the gate. As the gate opened, he turned to look at him, waiting for an answer. Two blankly stared at the gate as it slowly swung open.

"Hello?"

After a few seconds Two slowly glanced over and met his brother's gaze with a blank expression briefly before looking away.

"Sorry, I'm a little dizzy."

"Come on, let's get you home. It's been a long day." One briefly up to feel his brother's forehead- not warmer than usual. He made an attempt at eye contact so he could try to read Two's expression, but he seemed to be actively avoiding eye contact. One dropped his hand down, hesitated, and met Two's hand, squeezing it gently.

Two's face broke into a nervous smile as he returned the gesture. One sighed audibly in relief. He was scared he'd upset his brother. He seemed alright now.

Slowly, One walked him home as their day concluded.


	23. plants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two chills out

One's body ached when he woke up the next day- if you could call it waking up. As hard as he tried, he couldn't stay asleep, and before he knew it, the sun was rising and making it even harder to try. His body finally gave out after then, letting him rest for a few hours before waking up in the afternoon.

His brother's bedroom door was open. One peeked in, no one was there. The bed was made up tidy, sunlight shining through the open curtains. It must have been later than he had thought.

He headed downstairs. The papers and business cards from yesterday were tore up and left on the kitchen table as a sign of protest, a gesture he confided in greatly, and he could not help but smile at the sight. After going downstairs and seeing no sign of Two, One headed outside to the patio where he found him in the hot tub, looking out into the yard. He let out a small sigh in relief.

"Isn't the weather a little warm for this?" One walked over and kneeled on the ground next to the tub, sticking his hand in the water. It was relaxing- but that didn't cancel the fact that it was almost summer, or maybe it was summer already. Neither of them had any concept of time passing anymore since they had nowhere to go.

"Well, it's just going to get warmer from here. Might as well enjoy it while I can."

"I wish you would have warned me you were out here." One smiled sympathetically and looked at his brother, who actively looked away. "The last time you were out here by yourself you fell asleep and almost drowned yourself."

Two smiled insincerely. "Sorry. What _do_  you trust me to do by myself then?" He looked up at One as if to challenge him. Two didn't want to invite an argument- he just didn't want to relive his brother putting himself in danger. One paused to think before answering. He had good intentions, but was aware he came off sounding like he had no faith that his brother could take care of himself.

"I'm sorry." One wasn't going to defend himself.

"I'm messing with you." He wasn't messing with him, but he didn't mean to come off as condescending. "Care to join me?"

"I would, but I have to take a run down to the pharmacy. I won't be long."

"I guess you can't be that worried about me hurting myself if you're leaving me alone."

One inhaled sharply. "I'm-"

"I'm joking." Two cut him off before he could apologize. He didn't mean to cause tension. Usually it was One who didn't think about what he said before he said it. It must have been rubbing off on him.

"I'm sorry." Two continued, smiling. One got to his feet, ruffling his brother's damp hair lightly to ease tension between them.

"Don't be too long though." He looked up and met his brother's gaze with slight concern.

"Of course. Do you want me to bring you back anything?"

"No." Two sighed silently and sunk into the tub. "Keep your phone on though."

"Of course. Back as soon as I can."

 

  
Left to his own devices, Two sank deeper into the tub and tried his best to relax. The empty patio space used to be filled with potted plants before the winter killed them- neither of the twins knew much about plant care then. Now that the weather was fairer, he wanted to fill it up again. He'd done some reading on plants, what would be best for their environment and what to do with them when the seasons changed. He figured he'd bring his brother along to a greenhouse to buy some plants to fill out some of the empty patio space. Plants were calming- he'd briefly considered getting some for his room as well.

Getting a little restless, he got out of the tub, drying himself off and heading back inside to grab his phone to check and see if his brother had texted him. He'd only been gone half an hour, but One had lost track of time.

No texts. Reflecting on their exchange earlier, Two decided to text him and apologize, now being more aware he could have come off as crass in his replies. He didn't stress easily, but he slept poorly last night and was feeling tense from yesterday for a reason he couldn't pinpoint no matter how much he thought about it.

"sorry for acting up earlier. i didnt mean it. didnt sleep well"

Two sighed and decided to put on something for dinner. His brother replied shortly after.

"You did nothing wrong. I just worry and overthink things. I didn't mean to imply you can't take care of yourself. I'm sorry."

One stared down at his brother's message for a moment before replying.

"are you almost home? im making dinner"

Two looked out the front window hopefully. His brother replied shortly after.

"There's a lot of traffic today. I'll be home as soon as I can."

They texted back and forth a fair bit as Two continued to prepare dinner- which helped ease his stress. He worried when his brother took a while to text back, which in turn made him anxiously aware that he was high maintenance.

One walked through the door as his brother was taking down plates. Two turned to greet him, admittedly feeling a little more excited than he ought to, and trying to hide it.

"I don't know if it was more crowded today than usual or if it just feels that way when you're alone." Two put some boxes into the freezer and peeked over his brother's shoulder to see what he was cooking before leisurely walking over to the sofa to drop his bags down on it.

"I know you said not to pick up anything but I figured I'd bring home ice cream... in case the heat gets unbearable." He looked down at his phone before continuing. "It's not going to be nice this week. I'm glad you got your hot tub day in today."

Two tried to mask an excited smile as he set the kitchen table and made their plates, admittedly a little too happy his brother was back. One didn't question him as he felt more or less the same way, but was better at presenting himself as collected. They ate dinner in a comfortable silence.

Neither of them liked being alone, neither of them ever wanted to be alone. Sometimes they would do things by their lonesome to prove to themselves that they could operate solo- like One allegedly going out to the pharmacy by himself without a second thought. Usually being alone proved to be uncomfortable for both of them, so they were always relieved to be reunited.

The rest of the night was filled with small talk and silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter admittedly acts as a "calm before the storm" type thing in top of providing some food for thought elements for the next chapter, but otherwise is filler :)


	24. sorry

Unable to sleep soundly through the night, Two sat up in his bed for a moment, rubbing his temple before getting to his feet. Feeling a headache coming on, he decided to go downstairs to grab medicine and some water.

Slowly dragging himself down the first flight of stairs, he noticed the light was on in the second story bathroom, the door open a crack. Two frowned to himself and knocked gently on the wall next to the bathroom.

"You okay?"

He received no response, but saw a shadow moving slightly from underneath the door. After waiting a few moments to see if he'd remain unnoticed, he very slowly opened the bathroom door, wincing at the light, his eyes refusing to adjust at first.

His brother was leaned over the running sink with a hand over his mouth as if trying to stop himself from being sick. As Two's eyes further adjusted to the light, he could see his brother was sweating, his arms shaking slightly.

"Hello?" Two said quietly to his brother as he tried to piece together the situation in his half-awake state. He tried making eye contact with One through the mirror, but he didn't look up. Becoming increasingly aware of the situation, he started to panic.

"Tell me you didn't do anything stupid."

One struggled to swallow and slowly lowered his hand from his face before frowning and looking up, meeting his brother's gaze blankly through the bathroom mirror as if he was staring through him. He looked back down before involuntarily heaving and vomiting a mess of half digested tablets into the sink. Seemingly disoriented, he splashed water on the sink to try and wash the mess away.

"Why are you doing this?" Panic turned to anger and Two hurriedly left the room to go upstairs, opening up his brother's bedroom door and turning on the light. Like many times before, pill bottles were scattered on the desk and floor. Two's heart sank as he picked up as many bottles as he could carry and headed back downstairs to the bathroom.

"Why are you doing this?" Two repeated himself, louder this time. This was seemingly the first time that One had successfully registered that he wasn't currently alone- slowly turning around and looking mildly surprised that his brother was behind him as if he hadn't seen him before.

Rage slowly building, Two emptied the contents of the pill bottles he'd taken into the toilet and flushed them.

"What is all this? Are these what you went out to go get the other day? Are they even yours?" Two snapped at his brother as he read over the bottles in disgust.

He watched his brother for a moment as he slowly tried to come to his senses before storming back out of the bathroom and back up to his brother's room to gather the rest of the bottles. By the time he'd come back down the stairs, One had made his way to the bathroom doorway, holding onto it to stabilize himself.

"Maybe I should do this for a change." Two's panic was quickly being replaced with anger that he couldn't be bothered to hide.

"Do you have any idea what kind of effect this is having on me? I thought we were over this. I thought I didn't have to worry about this any more."

"It's just sleeping pills." One very obviously struggled to respond to his brother, clutching to the doorway to the best of his ability before his legs gave out from under him and he slid down onto the floor.

"I'm not stupid." Two stared down at his brother, making no effort to mask his anger or calm himself down. His voice shook as he continued talking.

"I can't keep doing this but I can't do anything about it. I'm stuck. I can't put up with it."

"I'm sorry." One replied weakly, trying to gather the strength to talk as clearly as possible. He could think clearer than he could before, but his body wasn't cooperating. He struggled to sit up straight, eventually giving up and laying back down on his side, facing away from Two and weakly clutching his stomach.

"I believe you. I know you're sorry now. But how long are you going to be sorry? The length of this conversation?"

"I'm sorry. Please stop." One had no strength to move from where he was laying, unable to even turn to face his brother. His voice was steady, but weak and emotionless.

"Stop what? I'm not the one doing *this*." He gestured angrily in his brother's direction, hands and arms shaking. Empathy had completely left him.

"I don't care if you're sorry." He continued. "I don't care. I can't do this. This is unjustifiable behavior. I'm not like this. I know how worried you'd be if I pulled the shit you do. That's why I don't do it. *I think about other people besides myself*."

Two watched his brother, expecting a response, but all he did was slowly pull his hands up over his face and sob quietly.

"Go ahead, I don't care. Have a breakdown. Have a tantrum." He paused. "Why don't you go break some things? Break the fish tank again, that's what it's there for."

One covered his ears with his hands weakly, shutting his eyes as tight as he could, wishing the world would stop for a while. Maybe it was a nightmare that would be over soon.

Not happy with the lack of a reply, Two threw the pill bottles he'd retrieved from the bedroom at his brother, who recoiled seconds after they'd already hit him, demonstrating how slow his reaction times were and upsetting his brother even more in the process.

"You're not even going to remember any of this, are you?"

One pressed his hands to his ears harder, trying desperately to block out as much of the situation as he could, keeping his eyes shut as tight as he could.

"So what, you're just going to lay there on the floor until someone else fixes this for you?" Two shouted, knowing he'd get no response.

"I'm not fixing this for you. I can't. You can just stay there. I don't care if you're listening to me or not." Gritting his teeth, he stared at his brother in disgust for a few moments before turning around and walking back upstairs.

"*I can't do it anymore. You're going to take me down with you*."

  
X

  
One laid motionless where he was for a few minutes, hoping he'd wake up from a bad dream. As he struggled to open his eyes, he rapidly became aware that that wouldn't be the case.

He turned his head to see a mess of bottles thrown across the cold wooden floor. Painfully he shifted around to sit up as straight as he could. Drenched in sweat and uncomfortable from laying on the floor, he sat up, holding his head for a few minutes, still hoping it was all a nightmare or that his brother would come back downstairs.

After a few more minutes of silence, he carefully tried getting to his feet- but his vision blurred and legs gave out and he fell back onto the floor.

Carefully, he crawled to the stairs on his knees, carefully making his way up them while holding onto the railing for support.

If he moved too quickly, his vision would go dim and he would get dizzy, as if on the verge of blacking out. Parts of his body were numb- he couldn't tell if it was from laying on the hard floor or from medications.

Two's bedroom door was shut, no lights were on. He must have just went back to bed after the ordeal. Being as quiet as possible, One crawled into his own room, silently closing the door behind him. After a fair amount of struggling in the dark, he climbed into his bed and underneath the covers, immediately passing out for the rest of the night.

  
X

  
One stirred awake the next morning. He was exhausted enough to sleep all the way through the rest of the night, but he was troubled by nightmares he couldn't wake up from.

Wincing and opening his eyes, he realized the night's events were no nightmare and he remembered them clear as day.

He wanted to stop existing for a while. Lacking the willpower to get up, he turned onto his side, facing the wall and let his vision blur.

There was a quiet knock at his door- he ignored it.

A few moments later, Two quietly opened the door and walked in. One refused to acknowledge it, still laying down in bed facing the wall.

"You okay?" Two asked quietly- but there was no concern in his voice. It was as if he asked because it was expected of him. He put down a bottle of water on One's nightstand next to the bed, staring at him blankly for a second to see if he'd respond, before sighing loudly and turning around to leave.

The gesture made One feel worse. Usually things blew over easily and went back to normal the next day, but he felt that might not be the case. He felt the most alone he'd felt in a long time.

He buried his face in his pillow and tried to go back to sleep, emotionally drained and lacking the willpower to do anything else.

  
X

  
A couple hours later there was another knock at his door- and again it went unanswered. A couple moments later, Two opened the door carefully.

"Need anything?" He asked emotionlessly as he walked over to the side of the bed, putting a plate of food on the nightstand for him. Again, he went unanswered, One not willing to turn to face him or react to him at all. Two stared at him for few moments- and he could feel it; he hated being being stared at. He tried his best to ignore it. When it became clear Two wasn't going to get a response, he sighed and left again without another word.

  
X

  
A couple more hours passed. Without making an effort to knock this time knowing he'd get no response, Two opened his brother's door to check on him again.

"Where's your phone?"

He stared expectantly at One for a response for a few moments before looking through his desk drawers to no avail. One didn't have the willpower to ask him to stop, nor did he know where his phone was. He didn't care. He wouldn't use it.

Two spotted it on the floor, half underneath the bed and picked it up to plug it into the charger on the nightstand. At some point the battery had went dead. One didn't notice.

"Keep your phone on. I was wondering why you didn't answer me."

After Two made sure the phone was on and charging, picking up the untouched water bottle and replacing it with a cold one, he left again.

Growing irritated with his brother's behavior and lack of an apology, he let his nerves get the best of him as he sat up straight and looked around his room. He knew he didn't deserve an apology, but Two always diffused situations like this by now.

He felt well enough to get up, so he did- walking over to his door to lock it to stop any more unwanted invasions of his space. He walked back over to his bed and sat down to check his phone- his brother had deleted his texts while he was in here. Becoming more agitated, he turned his phone back off laid back down.

it was proving more difficult to lay down now- growing more and more irritated as time went on. He didn't touch the food that his brother brought in for him, but he did open the water bottle. He didn't realize how thirsty he was until he started drinking.

  
X

  
It was past dark now- One laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling. The extra sleep he had gotten was catching up with him and he grew more restless and irritable as time went on.

Two tried to open the door to check on his brother, pausing when he realized it was locked, then trying to open it more desperately after.

"Please unlock the door." He spoke as clearly as he could to make sure his brother could hear him. His request went unanswered.

He desperately tried turning the door handle again- still locked.

"I'm sorry. I get it. Please unlock the door. I want to check up on you."

One continued to lay on his back looking up at the ceiling, ignoring his brother and to an extent, getting satisfaction out of the situation.

"Please don't shut me out." Two's voice got more desperate as he tried to open the door again. Emotionally numb, One smiled to himself as he actively took pleasure in ignoring his brother's request.

"I'm sorry." Two's voice turned into unintelligible sobbing as he tried to plea in vain, before stopping altogether.

 

X

  
Unaware he had even dozed off, One woke up a couple hours later. It was still dark out, but it must have been near morning. He decided to go downstairs and grab another bottle of water. He had no appetite, but he was consistently dehydrated after what had happened the previous night.

Getting up from his bed, he realized he must have slept off and bad side effects he may have had. He felt relatively well rested for what it was worth- he felt disgusting and dirty, and he hurt a little, but it was nothing compared to what it could have been.

He opened his bedroom door to find his brother was asleep outside his room on the floor, half curled up. The noise of One's door woke him- or maybe he was already awake. He turned to look at One, jolting awake and struggling to sit upright.

One unenthusiastically extended a hand to help his brother up. Two uncertainly paused and watched him for a moment before accepting the help and getting on his feet.

"Go to bed." One said stoically before he started walking to the stairs.

"Are you mad?" Two's voice was unsteady as he asked.

One ignored the question and slowly made his way down to the kitchen.

Looking at the clock, he realized it was a little earlier than he thought. Evidently, Two had taken the papers from the fashion show out of the recycle bin and put them back on the table. They had been pieced back together to the best of his ability from the looks of it.

He downed a glass of water in the kitchen before grabbing a bottle to bring back up to his room. He opened the refrigerator and briefly looked through it to see if there was something quick he could grab to bring back upstairs with him. From the looks of it, his brother had ordered takeout yesterday.

He decided he wasn't hungry after all and closed the refrigerator door. As he turned to make his way back upstairs he heard a series of footsteps as his brother hurriedly came down the stairs, pausing in the middle of the bottom staircase and looking at him painfully.

"Please, I'm sorry."

One looked at him blankly before taking another drink of water, hoping he'd get out of the way so he could go back upstairs.

"I'm sorry. Tell me everything's okay. I'm sorry."

One dragged his hand down his face impatiently before looking up and making uncomfortable eye contact with his brother. Two looked distraught- shirt drenched in sweat, hair more of a mess than usual, eyes watering.

"Please go to bed."

Two looked at him for a few more seconds, before slightly shaking his head, swallowing nervously then obediently going back upstairs without a word. Once he was out of sight, One sighed in relief. He waited a few minutes before going up to his room to make sure he could avoid his brother. He wasn't in the mood to be around anyone and he wasn't sure when he would be. He wanted to be left alone, he wanted to sleep.

Emotionally drained, he went back up to his room to sleep for as long as he could.


	25. bathroom

A few days passed as One actively tried to avoid his brother as much as possible- trying to leave his room only when he heard Two was in his. One hadn't turned on his phone once. Neither of them left the house.

One took good care of himself as the ordeal went on, as if to prove he didn't need help from his brother. On more than one occasion, One could hear his brother in his room sobbing and vomiting, usually at night. Despite this happening more than once over the span of a few days. One tried his best to ignore it and continued to care for himself as best he could, refusing to show concern or let it affect him. He was running on auto pilot- he did not care for his health or appearance, but put the effort in anyway just to prove he could and to busy himself.

Unaware he had dozed off, he opened his eyes to find the sun was going down. As the days went on, the extra sleep wound up making him feel restless- but as it became the norm, he found himself feeling more sluggish than before.

Despite this, he rolled out of bed and mindlessly left his room to get a drink.

Peering over at his brother's room, he realized the door was open, but no lights were on. After pausing long enough to realize the room was probably empty, he cautiously poked his head in.

The room was a relative mess- clothing thrown about the room, pillows on the floor and what looked like dried vomit on his blanket, which was half thrown off the bed. Several empty water bottles were on the desk.

His room looked like One felt. Cringing in mild disgust, he backed out and shut the door, making his way downstairs.

Relieved to see no sign of his brother, he grabbed some food out of the fridge, poured himself a single drink and went to watch television.

After some time passed, he realized he should have seen his brother by now. Curious but not concerned, he looked out the back patio- he wasn't there. Looking in the garage revealed the car was still here. There was no sign of his brother, but he was far too stubborn to text him and ask where he was.

Despite his stubbornness, curiosity turned into concern as time went on. As much as he enjoyed being able to leave his room at his leisure, he couldn't relax not knowing where his brother was. After pouring himself another drink to ease his nerves, he went back upstairs to grab his phone, checking both bathrooms just to make sure they were empty.

Despite having his phone off for several days, he turned it on to find no messages from his brother- not a single text or call. After One had locked his door the other night and told his brother to go to bed, he'd made no effort to communicate with him at all. Feeling a little insulted from the lack of texts, One decided he was not going to text his brother after all and instead brought the phone over to his computer so he could track the location of his brother's phone.

Apparently he was in the subway on the far side of the city- this was fine, now he knew, and could resume watching television. What Two was doing out on his own was of no concern to One.

After five minutes or so, One tracked him again just to make sure he was moving- but he wasn't, and his phone's location didn't change. Pouring himself another drink, he sat down in front of the television and uneasily shifted around as he tried to get comfortable.

A very long five minutes later, he tracked Two again, and again he was still at the subway, unmoving. It had been fifteen or twenty minutes since One first tracked him, but it felt like a couple hours. It became quickly obvious he wouldn't be able to relax until he made sure everything was okay. Downing one more drink in an attempt to calm his nerves, he grabbed the car keys and went out the door.

It was just about dark by the time he had made it to the subway. Quickly making his way down the stairs into the terminal after paying for a ticket he wouldn't use, he looked around for his brother before tracking him again. The GPS on his phone was definitely on, the phone was definitely not moving.

One decided the most logical explanation was that he dropped it or left it somewhere- though if that were the case, it would have most likely been taken by now. Zooming in on the map, it looked like the phone may have been forgotten in a bathroom.

Unaware there were even bathrooms down in the subway, One wearily walked toward's the phone's location on his GPS map. Lo and behold, there were a set of bathrooms next to what looked like an entirely out-of-service help kiosk that had been abandoned for a while.

Public restrooms made One incredibly uncomfortable- and from the looks of it, this one hadn't been serviced in a very long time. Glass bottles were on the floor next to an overfilled trash can. The hinges on the bathroom stalls were rotted, some of them had become loose and had fallen onto the floor. Two must seriously be lacking self respect to use a restroom like this.

His phone was sitting on one of the run down sinks. One felt only a moment of relief before it turned into uneasiness- not only did it mean his brother wasn't here and he had no way of contact him, but something else left him feeling unsettled.

Hearing a muffled noise come from the bathroom stall furthest from the door, One backed up towards the garbage can as quietly as he could, picking up one of the empty bottles off the floor and holding it by the neck. He inhaled, holding his breath in an attempt to steady his nerves for a moment before walking back over to the farthest stall.

Inhaling deeply as he could, he rammed himself against the door with as much weight as he could as the bolt came loose and the door swung open. A man held Two up against the wall by his neck, firmly covering his mouth with his other hand to keep him quiet. Without pausing to assess the man or the situation, One violently swung the bottle into the man's head as it burst into hundreds of pieces. The man's grip on Two loosened before he completely let go, falling unconscious onto the floor with a thud.

Two gasped for breath as he tried to stand upright as best be could. His nose was bleeding, shirt ripped up in multiple places. One looked at him in quiet horror as they made eye contact. As he slowly came to his senses, he started shaking, desperately touching Two's face and neck, looking him over for any more injuries before pulling him into a tight embrace without giving it a second thought. Being in shock, Two couldn't bring himself to reciprocate the action, but his brother's familiar safe scent helped ground him and made it easier to think clearly.

One held tightly onto him for a few more moments before squeezing his shoulders and pulling away to look him in the eye. As Two nervously swallowed and avoided eye contact, One looked down at him as he finally took in the sights of what had happened. Realizing his shirt was ripped, One took off his sweatshirt and pulled it around his brother, squeezing his shoulders again in an effort to comfort both of them.

"Are you okay?" One's voice shook to the point where it was almost unintelligible.

"Yeah."

As the situation sunk in, One pried his eyes away from his brother to look at the man on the floor. He looked a fair amount older than them- hefty, but not tall. he kneeled down and rummaged through the man's pockets as he trembled, grabbing the man's wallet and phone, but fumbling and almost dropping them. He didn't want to check and see if the man had a weapon on him. He couldn't handle finding out he had a gun with him. As he shook with a mixture of rage and horror, Two extended a hand to help his brother back up to his feet. As One stood up, he squeezed his brother's arm, looking him in the eye.

Two swallowed nervously as he seemingly looked through his brother, as if searching for something to say.

"Please don't leave me here."

One looked at him in shock before holding onto both of his arms for support as he tried to stop himself from shaking. His legs almost gave out from underneath him as he tried to stabilize himself.

"Are you insane?" One's breathing was sporadic.

" _Are you insane?_ " He repeated loudly before giving his brother the chance to answer, desperately running his fingers through Two's hair before pushing it back out of his face. Still having a hard time piecing the situation together, all he could focus on right now was making sure his brother was there with him and that he was safe.

"We're going to go home together. I'm going to make sure nothing like this ever happens to you again." One spoke as clearly and sincerely as he could, despite sounding like he was going to break down at any moment.

"You're safe and I'm going to make sure you stay that way."

Two smiled for a split second as he continued to stare through his brother, unable to look him in the eye.

 

The sudden movement from getting out of the bathroom and out of the subway helped clear Two's mind as he looked over at his brother, who was gently guiding him up the stairs by the arm out into the open city. Days were getting shorter and by the time they reached the car, the sky was pitch black. After glancing over at Two in the passenger's seat next to him and making note of bruises he hadn't seen before, they drove out into the city streets without a word.

With no warning, One turned into an empty parking lot attached to a pharmacy, sitting motionlessly in his seat for a minute as Two looked over at him curiously. After a few more moments, One's hands started to tremble, then he brought them up to his face and sobbed into them helplessly as reality set in.

"Hey, it's okay." Two looked over at him and tried to softly reassure him. One shook his head, covering his eyes with both of his hands as he continued to break down. Two unbuckled his seatbelt, turning to face his brother, putting a reassuring hand on his back and squeezing his arm gently, trying to pull it away from his face.

"It's okay." Two repeated as calmly as he could. It was painful for him to witness his brother in such a state. A few minutes passed, Two gently rubbing his back, not taking his eyes off him.

Eventually One fell silent for a moment, slowly dragging his hands down his face. His eyes and cheeks were red and he swallowed painfully in an effort to regain composure. Two smiled at him reassuringly, squeezing his arm, but One didn't look over at him.

"Like..." One paused for a moment as he started to talk, clearly frustrated.

"Is this what it takes?"

"What do you mean?" Two asked in reply, not taking his eyes off him.

"You could have died. I've spent days only thinking about myself."

He paused again- Two sensed he wasn't finished, so he didn't reply.

"Is this what it takes for me to care? You being in danger?"

"It's okay now." Two pushed the hair out of his brother's face, tucking it behind his ear. One turned his head slightly to face him, briefly making eye contact before swallowing uncomfortably and shaking his head.

"I'm sorry I made you angry the other day. I really am." One paused, looking over to try and force eye contact to convey sincerity, but it was too painful. "I was sorry before you even saw me. I'm selfish. I don't think of what effect my actions will have on you."

Knowing it was pointless for him to argue, Two smiled helplessly and said nothing, resting his head against the seat and watching his brother. As One went on, words came easier to him and it was easier for him to convey what he was thinking.

"Like, I can't even imagine what I put you through on a regular basis. You being angry at me the other day scared the hell out of me, and that was _nothing_. I deserved it. It's funny, if it were someone else making you that angry, I think I would have killed them. But it was me... and then instead of trying to fix the problem, I disconnected from everything and knowingly made everything worse. I'm sorry."

Two smiled helplessly, watching his face as he spoke.

"And now.... now I'm wallowing in self pity after I almost watched you get killed." One turned his head to face his brother for a moment before turning back away when he felt his eyes well up with tears.

"I'm sorry about that." Two sat up as he tried to steer the conversation in a different direction. "For getting angry before. I hadn't been sleeping well. Then for some reason I'd been thinking about... how I can't seem to do anything on my own."

"What do you mean?"

"... I can't do anything on my own. I mean, I can't even leave the house without finding trouble. I've almost drowned myself on accident in the hot tub." He paused and laughed joylessly to himself. "Like I'd be completely lost without you. I think that's part of why I lost it the other day."

One stayed silent, motionless for a second before turning to face his brother.

"Then... when you were shutting me out, I thought it was the beginning of the end. Like I thought you'd be packing your things and walking out the door. I felt like I finally did the irredeemable and unforgivable. I thought you were just about gone."

One frowned in shock as he listened, wholly taken aback over his brother thinking their relationship could be ruined by something so trivial- or anything at all. "I wouldn't. I'd never." He paused. " _I would never._ "

There was a long stretch of silence- but it was a comforting silence. Both of them were calming down and thinking clearly now, mostly because of the conversation, but partly because exhaustion was kicking in.

"How about we chalk this up to a communication error between us and pretend none of it happened?" Two asked him quietly.

"I don't think it's that simple." One paused before continuing. "... But maybe it's for the best."

Two smiled in response.

"Want me to drive the rest of the way home?"

"I think I'm good." One started up the car again and they drove home in a comfortable silence.

 

One insisted that his brother sleep with him in his room- partly on account of Two's room being a mess and partly because he didn't want to be away from him.

Two laid on the right side of the bed curled up on his side, looking at his brother, who was sitting on the other side against the wall hugging his knees. Two brought his arm up to cover his face and inhaled deeply. He was still wearing the sweatshirt that One had put on him earlier. It smelled like him. Despite him being right there next to him, the sweatshirt was still an immense comfort that kept him calm and made him happy. It smelled safe.

One sighed as he rummaged through the wallet that he'd stolen from the man's pocket, finding his ID and studying it carefully.

"It wasn't as bad as it seemed. I'm willing to talk about it if you want." Two looked up at his brother drearily as he spoke. After a few moments of silence, One looked down at him.

"Only if you're ready to talk about it."

"It's not that bad." He started without skipping a beat. I'd just missed the ride back so I was standing in the terminal waiting for the next train."

He paused before continuing.

"The man approached me saying he recognized me, asking about where you were. Maybe that was the problem. I should have said you were just going to the restroom. We chatted for a bit, he was familiar with our old manager. It was really uncomfortable for me. I don't like talking to people."

"It seems everyone knew our manager." One responded.

"Yeah. So he told me about how there were some fake talent agents in the area handing out business cards to people in an attempt to get them into some sort of human trafficking." He paused. "So that made me remember that last fashion show we went to. Not that we had planned on getting back in contact with anyone who gave us their business card, but it made me twice as glad that we didn't."

"You took those papers back out of the recycle bin. I saw them on the table." One interrupted him.

"Yeah, it was a passing thought. I haven't really been doing very good these past few days." He looked up at One again and smiled in relief that they had moved on.

"I'm sorry." One proceeded to look through the man's phone as his brother continued.

"It's alright. Anyway, I guess my thought process was that the guy was trying to help us out and warn us in case we had thought about taking anyone up on their offers... so I was sort of interested in what he was saying. Then things got a little weird."

One's heart sank he looked down at his brother attentively, waiting for him to continue.

"He clutched his heart and said he was having chest pain. He said he'd be right back and walked to the bathroom. I didn't even know they had bathrooms... so me being stupid and too trusting of people, I was concerned after a few minutes had passed and went to go check on him..."

One put the phone down and swallowed nervously as he listened, turning slightly to face his brother.

"... so I opened the door and didn't see anything. I heard what sort of sounded like choking coming from the farthest stall, so I put my bag and phone down and walked over and knocked on the door to make sure everything was okay. The stall slowly opened... and he grabbed my by my neck and pulled me in there."

It hurt One to listen to his brother recount what happened. He watched his face carefully, ready to cut him off if he became obviously uncomfortable with recounting what had happened.

"I don't really remember everything. Everything sort of went hazy. I don't think he knew what he was doing, he was holding me against the wall by the neck. I think he tried ripping my clothes off but stopped when he realized it was too difficult to do with one hand."

One sunk down into the bed a little as his brother spoke, pulling the blanket over Two before stroking his hair. Resting his head on his pillow, he studied Two's face as he talked.

"I don't think anything bad happened after that. I don't know how much time passed. I don't really remember. I barely remember you showing up. I didn't hear anything. I didn't hear you come in. I couldn't see anything. Then next thing I know..."

He paused and smiled to himself.

"You have your arms around me and everything is okay."

They stared at each other for a few moments in silence before Two continued.

"How did you know where I was?"

"I noticed you were gone. I was too stubborn to text you, so I tracked your phone."

"Oh." Two wasn't sure how that sort of thing worked.

"..... then I tracked it again five minutes later and it was still in the subway. Five minutes later, still in the subway. Still too stubborn to just reach out and text you so I just drove to where it was."

"Maybe it was for the best. I'm not sure the guy knew I had a phone on me. I don't know what he'd have done if it went off."

One swallowed nervously before sitting up straight again, picking the man's phone back up and going through it.

"I'm going to kill him."

Two chuckled quietly before looking up at his brother and realizing he didn't look like he was joking around.

"It's all over, it's okay. Everything's okay now. Don't worry about it."

"No, this isn't over. I'm going to find him. I'm not letting anyone get away with hurting either of us- but especially you."

"I'm not sure if he got away with it if you robbed him." Two smiled, but One didn't return the gesture. After a few minutes of scrolling through the phone, he looked over at Two, who was still curled up on his side underneath the blanket. One could see a bruise had formed on the side of his face and his heart sank.

One extended his hand to touch his brother's forehead thoughtfully. It was warmer than it should have been, but it had been a tough day for both of them.

"Shut your eyes and get some rest."

"I want to stay up and look at you."

Sighing quietly, One smiled and trailed his hand from his brother's forehead up into his hair and ran his fingers through it gently. His hair was coarse and clumped together- but familiar and comforting as it always was. As he continued, Two eventually closed his eyes and fell asleep.


	26. diner

Two had long since fallen asleep- his brother was not as lucky. Sitting up against the bedpost in the dark, he looked through the phone he'd taken from the man that had assaulted his brother earlier. Nothing he found surprised him- pictures of nude men and women, lots of rude, unsolicited texts to people that went unanswered and a few missed calls. The phone itself was nice- a new model that hadn't been out for more than a week or so.

He went through the man's wallet again. Multiple credit cards, a few dollar bills, some store rewards cards. A couple condoms were tucked away behind his driver's license. There were some photos of a dog in there as well- but upon closer inspection the pictures had stock photo logos lightly overlayed over them. He must have bought into the philosophy that having pictures of pets and family in your wallet would encourage people to return them if they were found- what a sad man.

One would be returning the wallet sure enough, but not without a catch.

He looked over at his brother, who was fast asleep, curled up under the covers facing away from him. It was tempting for One to just lay back down and pretend nothing had ever happened, but there was work to be done. He sat up gently, trying to get to his feet as quietly as possible, and walked over to the closet.

"Hey."

One's heart sank as his brother turned the nightstand lamp on.

"I have to go out for a while. I'll be back." One spoke quietly, opening the closet without looking back at his brother, expecting a response but being met with silence. "Turn the light off."

"Come back to bed." Two stretched and hugged his pillow, otherwise not moving from his spot under the covers. One looked over at him, smiling sympathetically before pulling some black clothes out of one of the dresser drawers. His options on what to do were limited.

"Come with me." One requested as he sat on the edge of the bed next to his brother. Two, half asleep, struggled to keep his eyes open as he responded.

"Okay."

One realized it would be just as dangerous to leave his brother here as it would be to bring him along. At least if he brought him, he'd know where he was. He sighed to himself quietly as he pulled his shirt off, changing into the black clothes he'd taken out of the dresser. Two reached over and brushed his fingers against his brother's ribcage. One shivered at the touch.

"You're too thin." Two said drearily before retracting his hand, sighing and closing his eyes again. One smiled and paused for a moment before finishing getting dressed.

One wasn't sure how wise it was to bring his brother, but he didn't have a choice if he didn't want to leave him alone.

"Should I get dressed?"

"No, we're not going to be long." One replied instinctively- but in reality he didn't know how long they would be. "You won't need to get out of the car."

Two sluggishly sat up and rubbed his eyes. "We're driving? Where are we going?"

One paused, not sure how to answer him. Ideally, the ordeal would be quick and Two would sleep in the back of the car until he returned, but he wasn't sure if his brother remembered the previous night or not. While there was little reason not to, wishful thinking had made him hope his brother didn't remember.

"What do you remember about last night?"

Two looked troubled, as if trying hard to think of an answer.

"I don't know, but I know everything's okay now."

Neither of them were willing to be honest with each other by the looks of it. One smiled, not wanting to press his brother for a more specific answer and hoping he wouldn't ask any more questions.

It was around 4 am as they got in their car. One brought some black trash bags and tools with him- a kitchen knife and baseball bat. He was definitely going to buy a gun after this ordeal was over. Two brought his pillow and a blanket with him and laid down in the back seat as his brother suggested, and they were off.

Nerves kicked in after a few minutes on the road and One could feel his heart beating. He turned the radio down slightly.

"Are you awake?"

No answer. As much as it would help him to have someone to talk to during the drive, it was ideal that Two slept through as much of it as he could.

The drive was nearly an hour long. As One pulled into the complex, he prematurely turned off his headlights and parked as far away from the building as he could. Sensing movement from the backseat, he carefully got out of the car, opened the back door and squatted down next to his brother's head.

"I'll be back soon, stay here." One said quietly as he gently ran his fingers through his brother's hair. Two winced as the interior lights turned on, but he forced a tired smile.

"Okay."

Once the lights dimmed, One got up to his feet, closing the door. He had brought the knife with him, but kept the bat in the car, realizing it probably wouldn't be wise to bring it with him.

He cursed to himself as he approached the building. The complex was indoors, he had no way of finding out the apartment number from the outside. Despite the lights being on, the front door was locked.

Irritated, he tried to make himself look busy by taking out the man's phone and pretending to look through it. The lobby probably had a security camera, and he looked nothing short of someone breaking and entering. His uncertainty kicked in- what if the man wasn't home, what if he's expecting One to show up, what if he called the cops?

Realizing he still held the moral high ground and had not done anything wrong yet, One allowed himself to calm down a little. As he did so, a couple approached him from the parking lot, stumbling and laughing, clearly drunk.

"Did you forget your key?" The woman asked, unlocking the door and gesturing for One to follow them in.

"I did, thank you." One tried his best to be polite, but the situation was tense and awkward.

"You okay? You look a little nervous."

"Yeah, I lost my room key."

"God, that sucks." The man accompanying the woman took out his phone, almost dropping it in the process. "Well at least it's almost six, the landlord should be able to sort you out then. If you need a place to crash in the meanwhile, we're up on the second floor." The woman vaguely pointed up at the ceiling before they both shared a laugh. One smiled politely and folded his hands.

"Thank you. I'll keep that in mind."

The couple disappeared into the elevator- but not before the woman winked at him.

One shuddered in disgust as the elevator door closed, looking down both hallways on either side of the lobby he found himself in before remembering there were probably cameras hidden around. Trying his best not to look suspicious, he looked down at his phone, taking out the man's wallet to remind himself of what room number he was looking for.

He took the stairs up to the third floor- the room he was looking for was at the end of the hallway. Other than vents kicking on and off, there wasn't a sound to be heard. He realized a lot of people wake up around this hour, so he had to be quick about entering.

He realized the man had probably had his room key on him when they found him, and they he should have looked for it, but at the time he was too scared of finding anything else the man may have had on him. With relative ease, he nonchalantly picked the lock, horrified of seeing someone come down the hallway as he did so, but there was no one to be seen.

He opened the door quietly- the only light in the apartment came in from the curtains where parts of the house were slightly illuminated from the street lights outside. It was enough for him to see what he was doing without having to turn on a light.

The door had a chain lock on it- once he fastened that, he felt secure enough to calm down slightly. Anyone entering from the outside would have to struggle a fair bit, so he'd have time to escape or hide if need be. He walked over to the window to find a balcony attached to a fire escape. Between this and the chain locked door, his nerves calmed as he planned how an emergency escape would go if it came to it. He took out the knife he'd brought with him and silently poked around the house.

A small living room area was furnished with a leather sofa, well-stocked liquor cabinet and an impressive television and stereo set. Next to this was a kitchen with a bar area. He opened the fridge and his heart sank as the hinges squeaked. He paused for a moment before closing the door as quietly as he could, trying to wait and see if he heard anything else, but he was met with silence.

A hallway led to a bathroom and presumably a bedroom. Both of the doors were cracked, small amounts of light visible from both rooms. A night light was secured between the bathroom sink and mirror, the source of the light in that room.

One held his breath as he prepared himself for a possible encounter in the remaining room, planning the man's death accordingly. If he were sleeping it would be easy. If he was not, it would depend on how he reacted to a stranger being in his home. He wondered if the man would recognize him- but of course he would unless he was anything short of completely drunk when they first encountered him.

Holding the knife out in front of him, he pushed the door further open without a sound. The light was coming from a computer screen- but no one was to be found.

The man wasn't home. One ran his hand down his face as his fear turned to irritation.

The room was tidy, but it smelled horrible. The man must have been a chain smoker, the room reeked of cigarettes. One looked through the desk drawers, finding nothing of interest. Cigarette butts, a utility knife, checkbooks, small empty plastic bags, used needles.

He looked up at the computer screen- the computer was in the middle of a reformat. Maybe the man had come home between now and earlier and had wiped his computer to cover his tracks if he had something to hide. Maybe he was still unconscious on the floor of the subway bathroom.

Since the man wasn't here, One wasn't sure what the best case scenario would be. Growing more pissed off as his nerves calmed, he opened the man's closet. Lots of expensive looking leather jackets were hung up neatly. Though most of them were too big for him, One took one of them down and put it on. He had developed a habit of stealing things since he had never faced consequences for doing such.

He lit a cigarette and continued to look through the closet. A small lockbox was open in the back- inside were some boxes of ammunition, but no gun. His heart sank, he'd been trying to avoid considering the possibility the man had a gun with him when they were confronted in the subway, but he probably did. The man might have killed both of the boys if given the chance.

Disgusted, One spat on the carpet of the room, putting out the cigarette on the wall then tossing it on the floor. He couldn't care less if the man found out someone had broken into his apartment. If he reported a break-in, the twins still had the high ground. The man would be crazy to report it knowing full well who it had been since he'd practically be sentencing himself to a life behind bars in the process.

There was nothing he could do without the man being home. Unsure how much time had passed, One nonchalantly left the building the same way he went in.

The sun had started to come up. Two was still asleep in the backseat. One opened the door quietly, squatting down next to him and shaking him gently until he stretched and opened his eyes.

"How are you feeling?" One asked his brother quietly.

"Good."

"Want to come sit up front and keep me company?"

Two hastily sat up and smiled as his brother helped him to his feet. One tossed the jacket he'd taken in the back as they both sat down in front.

Trying to come across as composed as possible, One took a deep breath and looked over at his brother, who was smiling to himself as he struggled to lock his seatbelt, still half asleep.

"What are you so happy about?" One asked as he started the car and adjusted the radio. Two paused at the question, but the smile remained.

"I don't know, I woke up and you're here and I think everything's okay."

"Did you have a bad dream?"

"No." Two's voice sounded as if he wanted to continue his answer, but he did not.

"Could we get breakfast somewhere? I'm starving." He asked instead after a few moments.

"Yeah, I could go for something myself."

  
The diner they stopped at was quiet and pleasant. One intensely tried to distract himself from what had happened, and caught himself staring across the table at his brother more than a couple times.

"What?" Eventually Two spoke up, concerned there was something on his face. One folded his hands underneath his chin and smiled, but didn't respond.

"Do you have a mirror with you?" Two asked as he grabbed his brother's bag from across the table.

"There's nothing there." One said as his brother frowned, rummaging through the bag until he found a compact. Opening it and raising it to his head, he frowned and looked over at his brother when he saw nothing out of place.

"See? Perfect as ever." One said smiling as he continued to hold his head up with folded hands. His brother's face immediately went red at the remark, and not knowing how to deal with it, put his head down on the table to hide an embarrassed grin.

One pat his arm and watched him carefully. Though he'd have to deal with the situation they were in eventually, he enjoyed the moments they shared together and he was able to briefly forget the trouble they found themselves in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 50k words!


	27. clothes

After a brief, displeasurable stop at the police department, the twins walked to the cafe to grab a light lunch.

Two had gently pressured his brother into reporting the man that had attacked him to the police, unaware that One had went to the man's apartment to try and settle things one-on-one. To One's liking, his brother hadn't questioned why they had went there the previous night- but since the man wasn't there and nothing had happened, it didn't matter much anyway.

The police department could not be bribed with any amount of money to break protocol. Turning in the assaulter's ID and wallet to the police revealed the vaguely alarming, yet oddly unsurprising fact that the ID was fake. The address was real, but the rest of the information was not. This meant that it was unclear whether or not the apartment that One had broken into was someone else's or the assaulter's. In turn, the police took mild interest in the protocols the landlord may have had, but this was the pique of the police's interest on the entire subject.

The police promised the boys they would do some follow-up investigations, but it was obvious they did not intend to, nor did they believe the boys' story in the first place. They questioned why neither of them had immediately contacted police, One replied that he wanted to get his brother home as quickly as possible and that he'd got caught up making sure he wasn't hurt. He may have been a good liar, but that only mattered so much when the police didn't care either way.

Aside from letting the boys know the ID wasn't real, they were unwilling to cooperate with them further. Despite this, they confiscated the wallet as evidence. One didn't mention or bring the man's phone with them. He knew this wasn't over and perhaps someone would try contacting the man and they could find out information that way.

To One's surprise, the assaulter hadn't shut down his cell phone service or locked the phone, but no texts or calls had been made to it either. He wondered if perhaps the assaulter had fled in fear, taking pleasure in the thought but ultimately realizing he wouldn't have revenge as easily if that were the case.

 

Two gave his brother a quick, reassuring smile as they walked to the cafe. One was clearly stressed, but not upset in a way that made his brother think he should leave him alone to let him cool off.

"What do we do now?" One knew his brother wouldn't have any more of a clue than he did, and that he didn't care about revenge on the same level as he did, but he valued his brother's input and wanted to break the silence and carry a conversation with him to demonstrate that he wasn't too upset.

"I guess all we can do is wait- and if nothing happens, no big deal."

"No big deal." One's heart sank at the comment. There was a dangerous man out there somewhere that could have killed his brother- and though it wasn't the first time something like this had happened, it was the first time where the loose ends weren't quickly tied up.

"I just mean it's not worth you stressing over."

"You could have been killed."

Not knowing what to say, they continued walking to the cafe in silence.

The temperature was drastically cooling down- it was still warm, but the summer had been incredibly short and it had gotten fairly cold at night. 

They ate lunch without exchanging a single word. Worried he might have really upset his brother, Two tapped One on the hand lightly, who looked across the small cafe table at him, exchanging a brief smile before finishing their lunch in a more comfortable silence than before.

It had gotten quite a bit colder by the time they'd walked home. Two decided to make some hot drinks while his brother went upstairs to change into warmer clothes.

Two turned around and studied the comfortable quietness of the house- the only constant sound was the clock ticking. He didn't take the comfort and safety of their home for granted. Every so often he would try to take a couple moments to reflect on their lives, despite the hardships, being proud of all that they'd overcome even if there were still more battles to be had in the future.

He was happy to be alive.

He caught himself smiling as he heard his brother make his way back downstairs. One had changed into a pair of Two's sweat pants and a black long sleeved shirt. 

"Hey, do you know where I left that phone? I can't find it." One said as he entered the kitchen, watching his brother with mild confusion on his face. 

"I don't know." Two frowned as he looked at his brother with an equal amount of confusion. "Did you bring it with us when we went out?"

"No."

Two wasn't worried, but in his lack of concern he couldn't remember what the phone looked like, let alone the last time he'd seen it or why it would matter. 

"What are you smiling about?" One asked his brother light heartedly, quickly forgetting about the missing phone. Embarrassed, Two turned away, directing his attention to the drinks he was making over the stove.

"I just got wrapped up in thought."

"About what?" One asked without taking his eyes off of him.

"I don't know." Two paused. "Sometimes I just stop and think about things- about how far we've come and everything we've been through."

One didn't respond, but kept his eye on his brother, waiting for him to explain.

"Do you ever stop and think about everything? I mean, as a whole?"

"I try not to."

Two chuckled to himself, pouring hot drinks into two mugs and passing one to his brother, who frowned in confusion. They weren't quite on the same page, but Two was alright with that.

"Are you okay?" One asked.

"Yes, that's the point. We're both okay." Two tried to control his tone, but he had an excited happiness to him that his brother found endearing. Even if One didn't understand the conversation to the fullest, he could see his brother was genuinely happy, so he didn't question it further.

Embarrassed, Two silently took a deep breath to calm himself down, meeting his brother's gaze with a serious expression.

"I don't take what you've done for me for granted. Thank you."

One watched him curiously, shrugging involuntarily before putting his mug down on the kitchen table. He put his arms around his brother and pulled him into a tight hug, closing his eyes and audibly sighing. He wasn't good with words in situations like this, he didn't know how to respond but he felt the same way and he understood. Taken by surprise, Two paused for a moment before reciprocating the action.

"Why are you wearing my clothes?" Two asked his brother light heartedly.

"They smell like you. It's calming." He replied nonchalantly as he let go of his brother, picking his drink up off the table and heading for the sofa to watch television.

"Oh." Flustered, he wasn't sure how to respond past that.

"Also this shirt was mine originally. You took it god knows when. It looks good on you so I never said anything."

"Oh." Two repeated himself quietly as he felt his face go red.

One had seemingly forgotten about the phone he was searching for before- it was probably around, but it wasn't too important. One had tried to check it every once in a while to make sure it was still working and to see if anyone had tried to contact it, but no one had. The phone had no contacts stored, and the only texts the man had exchanged were with people who didn't seem to know who he was, or didn't seem to recognize the number.

One decided he didn't care about it right now, much more keen on enjoying his brother's company as they watched television for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had to rewrite this three times- i needed padding/filler between big events but had changed my mind about the tone/feeling a few times <_<   
> so this unimportant chapter was the biggest pain in the ass of everything ive written so far, the joys of being a newb writer who doesnt know what theyre doing


	28. vacuum

"Whatever's the most expensive."

One made confident eye contact with a salesman from across the counter before his interest focused on the jewelry display cases they were talking over.

It was a small jewelry shop in one of the higher class districts in the city, specializing in rings and other special occasion goods.

"Well, what occasion are you shopping for? What kind of ring are you looking to buy?"

One awkwardly paused, not liking being pressed for information and not knowing how to answer since he didn't know the answer himself. The salesman took quick note of his uncertainty and opted to continue talking rather than wait for a response.

"Family? Anniversary? Engagement?"

"Whatever's the most expensive." One repeated himself as politely as he could, this was the only piece of information the salesman needed to know. He had the freedom to leave and shop elsewhere did the salesman not make this easy for him, and the salesman was aware of this.

"Well," The salesman said curiously. "Engagement rings. Diamonds."

"Those, then."

The salesman's face lit up. "Goodness, you're getting married then? That's very exciting. I'm sure whoever's receiving the ring is going to love it. They're very lucky."

"Yeah, sure, whatever." One was quickly becoming short, but trying his best to be as polite as possible. The man guided One around to a display case in back containing a small but impressive selection of stones.

"I am afraid we don't have much of a selection for immediate purchase, but-"

"That's fine, I don't need it right away."

One carefully looked over the stones, convincingly appearing to put far more thought into it than he was. As the salesman left to go help other customers that had entered the store, One let out a relieved sigh, as it was easier to think without someone breathing down his neck.

The ring was _just a simple gesture_ \- the decision to buy one was far more pressure than picking out one in specific.

After One decided on a stone, the salesman slowly talked him through the ordering process- type of band, ring size, professional inspection and insurance. The process was agonizingly slow- and were it not so early in the day, One would have considered getting a couple drinks before heading home.

"How will you be paying?"

He frowned as if he didn't understand the question before taking a stack of bills out of his purse and placed them on the counter.

Apparently this was cause for suspicion, and while the salesman had to painstakingly go into the back room and verify that none of the bills were fraudulent, One had to fill out a few more sheets of paperwork.

He was tired when he left the house, but he was borderline exhausted by the time the ordeal was over with. Once the man had verified the payment, he apologized profusely for the inconvenience, thanked One for his business and assured him he'd get a call as soon as the ring was ready for pickup.

He grabbed a taxi home- he hesitated and paused at the front door for a few moments before opening it. He'd been gone a little longer than he planned. Two had decided to do some housekeeping upstairs earlier before One had secretly left. Two's room was still a mess from the previous week when they weren't getting along, and he'd been avoiding fixing it out of fear of reliving the events in his head.

Finally opening the front door, One was met with the sound of a vacuum upstairs, and he sighed in relief knowing his absence most likely went unnoticed. After splashing cold water in his face in the kitchen, he briefly reflected on how tired he was- but it was a comfortable and safe tired rather than exhaustion.

He yawned, walked over to the living room and laid down on the sofa, closing his eyes and listening to the muffled sound of the vacuum upstairs.

Life was good.


	29. jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two has an upset stomach

The weather had consistently gotten colder during the past week or so. Returning home from a fairly peaceful night out, the twins decided to take the subway after Two seemed hesitant to take a taxi. One didn't pressure him into explaining why, and the subway was empty enough. Every stop, more people would leave their passenger car than get on.

They sat next to the door, avoiding eye contact with the few people still riding with them. A chill went down One's spine and he realized this would probably be the last night they'd get away with not wearing jackets for a while. They didn't get on well with the cold, and admittedly would have chosen somewhere warmer to call home did they know about Earth's climate better, but it was too late. They loved their home because it was theirs, so they were always hesitant to consider leaving.

Two held his stomach and leaned forward slightly as they kept moving. One looked at him with a little concern, smiling empathetically before leaning back in his seat, assuming the single drink his brother had had gotten to him.

"Few more stops before ours."

"I think something's wrong." Two answered a while after as the train made another stop, as if waiting for the noise of the movement to die down so he wouldn't have to talk over the train.

One dismissed it as nausea as initially his brother had a drink on an empty stomach.

"Were you feeling okay earlier? Is that why you didn't want to take a taxi?"

One looked over at him, expecting a response, but being met with silence as his brother clutched his stomach tighter and stared off at the floor. As the train made another stop, Two vomited onto the floor with little warning. The abrupt stop of the train must have upset him.

One's heart sank as he quickly quickly rummaged through his tote bag for a cloth, gently wiping his brother's chin off and frowning as his nerves started to act up. No one on the train so much as looked over at them, and One was both relieved and somewhat bitter about it. While he was glad Two wasn't attracting any attention, he was equally upset that no one would bat an eyelash at someone being obviously sick.

Maybe no one noticed. Two was admittedly very quiet.

"Hey, we're almost home." One said sympathetically, as his brother slowly learned forward to put his head between his legs. Without looking up, he reached his hand hand out to One, who uneasily returned the gesture. Two squeezed his hand with enough force to hurt him, making him brother wince as he didn't expect to be met with so much force. He kept his head between his legs, and One could see he was breathing deeply.

"Hey, are you going to be able to walk? We're getting off at the next stop and getting a taxi."

One patiently waited for a response, swallowing nervously, wholly confused with the situation and hoping it didn't take a turn for the worse. Two very slowly sat back up and loosened the grip on his brother's hand.

"Is that a yes?"

One watched expectantly. Sweat had visibly accumulated on Two's face, which was flushed red. One reached over to push the hair out of the way, as it was sticking to his cheeks.

"Don't strain yourself if you don't think you can talk, but I'm going to take you sitting up as a good sign." One smiled awkwardly, his brother returning the gesture for a split second without looking over at him. Carefully, Two tried getting himself to his feet in preparation of the next stop. One stood up with him, putting his arm around his brother for support. As the train stopped, One led his brother quickly out the door, then took extra care not to rush him as they exited the terminal.

One signaled for a taxi, carefully helped his brother into the backseat before going over to the driver's window.

"I'll pay for any damages. My friend's not feeling well."

"Want me to get you to the hospital? Cheaper than an ambulance."

"No, thank you."

After the exchange, One went in the back to sit with his brother to make sure he was alright.

One paid the driver handsomely after reaching their destination and carefully ushered his brother inside, guiding him over to the sofa where he carefully laid down on his stomach. One instinctively kneeled down on the floor next to his brother before cursing under his breath and quickly getting back up to his feet, going to the fridge and bringing back a water bottle which he loosened the cap on before placing it next to his brother's head. Two smiled at the gesture but stayed silent.

"Your friend?" Two said quietly a few seconds later.

"What?"

"Never mind."

Without warning, Two curled up onto his side and put his hands over his mouth. One quickly ran to the kitchen to grab the garbage can, putting it in front of Two who immediately grabbed it and vomited into it while his brother awkwardly looked away.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me." Two's voice was raspy and hard to listen to. Within a few moments, he vomited into the can again, pausing for a moment as if to gauge if his body was done being difficult, then spitting into the can and drinking from the water bottle his brother brought him.

"In a worst case scenario, would you consider letting me bring you to a hospital?" One asked uneasily.

"No, I don't want to deal with hospitals here." His voice was still painful to listen to, but he sounded better than he did before.

"Are you.... okay? Do you feel better, worse?"

"I think I'm alright." Two answered weakly.

"Want me to bring you upstairs to bed?"

"I think I'm alright here."

"Are you in pain? Nauseous? I don't know what you're feeling." One asked awkwardly, fidgeting with his hands as he impatiently waited for some sort of answer.

"I don't know how to explain it, but I think I'm starting to feel better. Maybe it was just the ride home."

He paused for a moment before continuing. "Actually I wasn't feeling too hot before the subway. That's why I wanted to _take_ the subway." He smiled as he looked over at One. "Sure would be embarrassing getting sick in someone's cab."

One sighed in relief at the comment, happy that his brother was feeling well enough to have a playful jab at him.

"Maybe you're pregnant." One replied jokingly, trying to stifle a small chuckle as his brother put his head under a pillow, trying to hide his embarrassment. One leaned back on the floor, watching his brother carefully in case he started to show signs of getting sick again.

"Well, you scared the shit out of me on the train."

"I'm sorry." Two's response was muffled from him hiding his head.

"It's not your fault. Let me know as soon as you start to feel like you can definitely get up and walk. You need a bath."

" _ugh_."

After a while, it became clear that the worst was over and Two had fallen asleep. His brother gently removed the pillow from above his head, wondering how he was even breathing properly with it over his head. He gently reached over and touched his forehead- it was warm and damp, but he looked a lot better than he did before.

Content that his brother was okay for now, One got up to his feet and sat on the other sofa, turning on the television and keeping an eye on him.


	30. mug of tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two is tired and sick (not sick and tired)

"Take it easy."

One kept a careful watch over his brother the next few days. He could stand up and walk around with little effort, but was still showing obvious symptoms of whatever sickness had struck him while they were out. One chalked it up to the weather, settling on it being some sort of flu.

In recent days it had been so cold out that One was hesitant to go out and check the mail, not wanting to leave the comfort and warmth of home.

Periodically, Two would still wind up vomiting- though usually with enough warning to prepare for it. One had brought some spare blankets out from one of the closets upstairs for him. No matter how well bundled up Two was, he would still shiver.

Frequent hot baths seemed to help. One would stay in the bathroom with him to keep an eye on him, knowing well the history that Two had of falling asleep in hot water. Two would stare blankly into the distance, his brother gently ruffling his hair when he thought he was about to nod off.

Two insisted on sleeping downstairs away from his brother in case he was contagious, and so that he wouldn't wake him if he had a coughing fit. Begrudgingly, One allowed him, but still came downstairs every few hours to check on him and make sure he was alright. More often than not, Two would fall off the sofa onto the floor in his sleep. Being too weak to pick him up and scared of waking him from much needed rest, One eventually moved the coffee table out of the way to eliminate the possibility of his brother hitting his head on it. The floor was carpeted, and the four or five blankets Two had on him provided enough cushioning where One wasn't too worried about him hurting himself.

One took to waking up early to make them both breakfast- he was not much of a cook by himself, but after a few tries he got the hang of making pancakes without burning them. Sitting on the opposite side of the kitchen table as his brother, he watched him slowly and carefully eat. Being watched made Two self conscious, and his brother caught himself apologizing more than a couple times for doing so.

 

One drearily descended down the stairs early in the morning to find his brother making a pot of coffee with a thin blanket wrapped around him. He yawned to make sure his presence was known, not wanting to scare Two. Walking over to him still half asleep himself, he rested his head on Two's shoulder as he finished pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Keep your distance, I don't want you to wind up getting sick too." Two smiled as he poured a second cup for his brother.

"Maybe if I get sick, you'll heal faster." One didn't move from his brother's shoulder.

"I don't think it works that way."

"What do you mean?" One smiled, standing back upright before reaching out for the mug of coffee his brother poured for him. Two smiled back at him after a few seconds, deciding not to dignify his question with an answer. One gently squeezed his brother's shoulder before retreating for the sofa and turning the television on, his brother joining him shortly after.

 

  
"You sure you'll be okay for a while?"

Two nodded, wide eyed before looking away from the television. One had decided to go out to the store and get some ingredients for soup.

"Call me if anything comes up. Text me regardless."

"Okay."

One watched Two uneasily for a few seconds, still not sure if leaving him would be a good idea, but Two's smile reassured him that it would be alright. He wouldn't be gone for very long anyway.

It was raining- but One could have sworn it was cold enough to be snowing. He was shaking for a few solid minutes as he walked to the grocer before he even started to get used to the temperature. Neglecting to bring an umbrella, he was at least glad to have dressed weather appropriately and had brought a jacket with him.

The closest grocer was only a block or so away, so he opted to walk instead of getting a cab. Walking would probably be quicker, and he wanted to get there and back as quickly as possible. Most of the time he didn't even remember they had a car. He hated driving most of the time. It was fun once in a while, but parking in the city was a hassle that wasn't worth his time or patience.

Being at a grocer felt strange- even more strange when he was alone. It had felt like years since he'd last been in one. When they needed groceries, they'd get them delivered. Most of the time they went out for food, so they kept very little in the house.

One struggled to find everything he was looking for, feeling like he was taking entirely too long gathering the items on his list. Despite this, he was surprised to find the atmosphere of the grocer calm and refreshing to a degree- it wasn't too crowded, and the people there would politely ignore him and not get in his way. Him and his brother texted small talk back and forth for a while as One made his way through the store picking out what he needed. Two stopped responding by the time One had gotten in line, probably having fallen asleep.

He decided to get a taxi home rather than expose his groceries to the rain. The paper bags had threatened to rip open even in the short time it took him to get into the cab. Two still hadn't texted him back- but it was favorable that he'd get as much sleep as he was capable of.

One quietly opened the front door to find his brother had indeed fallen back asleep, phone fallen onto the floor. He smiled to himself as he placed the paper bags on the kitchen table. Realizing how wet his clothes had gotten, he took off his shirt as he went upstairs to change into something dry.

Making soup was mostly self explanatory, though a fairly long process. One deciding to make it from scratch was more of a gesture, rather than something of necessity since he could have bought some cans of it instead of making it himself. Once he was done prepping it, he turned around to see his brother was awake, though he hadn't moved from where he was.

"How are you feeling?" One asked as he walked over behind the sofa that his brother was curled up on.

"Tired."

One smiled and felt his forehead. It was warmer than it should have been, but it didn't seem to be getting worse. With a sigh, One pat his head gently and went back to the kitchen to keep an eye on the soup.

Aside from the television and the ticking of the clock, it was completely silent. Rain continued to pour down outside, but the sound didn't make its way into the house. Not much sound from the outside world would make its way in.

Once the soup was done, One carefully poured some into a bowl and walked it over to his brother, who smiled and carefully reached out to take it.

"Maybe I should get up and eat at the table."

"Nah, stay where you are."

One went back to the kitchen to grab himself a bowl of soup before sitting on the other sofa and flipping through his phone.

"Thanks for taking care of me."

One looked up at him and smiled before resuming scrolling through his phone.

 

In order to give his brother more time to heal and sleep, One would go up to his room early, pretending to get to bed a few hours earlier than he actually had. After restlessly lying in bed scrolling through his phone for an hour or so, he carefully got up and went back downstairs to check on his brother before actually packing it in the for night himself.

The television was off, which seemed a little out of character for Two since he usually fell asleep with it on.

He wasn't there. Despite feeling his heart sink, One fought against assuming the worst, checking the bathroom to see if he was in there.

With a little more urgency, One hurried back upstairs to check the other bathroom and Two's bedroom. Both were empty. His next instinct was to call his brother's phone, but he decided against it for the time being in case he was asleep somewhere else and One hadn't found him yet.

After poking around the rest of the house to no avail, he decided to track Two's phone rather than call him.

"Why there?" One shakily said to himself under his breath as he grabbed a jacket and the car key. Failing to remain calm, he stepped out into the cold, dark night and got in his car.

The rain hadn't stopped from earlier. That coupled with his nerves made navigating the streets a pain and he found it a miracle that he was even managing. He cursed to himself as he drove to the destination- a convenience store a few blocks out from their community. He had no idea what was going on and his mind cycled through all the outcomes this situation could have.

Upon pulling into the parking lot, his eyes were immediately drawn to a figure stood motionless in front of the store. He parked next to him and with no hesitation nearly jumped out of the car.

"What the hell are you doing?" One spoke up- partly to speak over the noise of the rain and part because he was losing his temper. Two looked at him uncertainly, as if uncomfortable with the question, but otherwise did not move.

"Seriously, what are you doing here? I was worried sick! Why are you out here? It's midnight. It's pouring. What the hell is going on?" One paused, gritting his teeth before looking around to make sure no one was there with them. "Why am I even having this conversation out here? Just get in the car."

One stormed back into the car, his brother leisurely following and sliding into the passenger's seat. Water dropped from his hair and had soaked his clothes all the way through, as if he'd been standing out in the rain for half an hour or more.

Exasperated and trying his absolute best to maintain composure, One slowly breathed in.

"Please give me some sort of explanation for why I found you soaking wet in front of a fucking convenience store." Despite his efforts not to, he spoke harshly, having a tough time trying to hide he was upset.

"I don't know." His brother answered softly with a shake in his voice as if he were about to cry.

"What do you mean you don't know? Give me your phone." One demanded, holding out his hand impatiently as Two slowly reached into his pocket and held out his phone. One snatched it from him, then looked through it to find most everything had been deleted. All his texts, calls and photos were gone.

"What on earth is going on? Are you hiding something? How did you even get here?" One's voice shook with rage as he questioned his brother.

"I don't know."

One paused for a moment before throwing the phone into the back seat and taking off.

"Please tell me what's going on." One asked after a few minutes of driving in silence, trying to maintain his temper.

"I don't know. I'm sorry."

"Is that really all you have to say?"

"I'm sorry."

The rest of the ride home was made in silence other than the noise of the rain hitting the windows. Upon getting home, One quickly ushered his brother inside where it was dry before running upstairs to grab a change of clothes for Two.

"Change."

As Two changed into the dry set of clothes in the living room, his brother made a mug of tea for him in the kitchen. He shivered as he put a blanket around himself and sat on the sofa, holding his legs. One brought the mug over and put it on the coffee table before grabbing a hand towel from the bathroom and sitting next to Two, roughly towel drying Two's hair.

"You ready to tell me what happened?" One asked softly as he took the towel away, folding it and putting it on the coffee table before handing his brother the mug of tea.

"I really don't remember."

One leaned forward and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to keep himself from getting angry. "What do you remember?"

Two's eyes darted around as he held the steaming mug close to him, trying to absorb as much of the warmth as he could.

"I felt sick."

One sat upright again. "And?"

"I think I passed out."

One watched him expectantly.

"You yelling at me in the rain."

One sighed as his expression softened. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."

Two smiled softly, but consciously avoided eye contact. "I really don't remember what happened. I'm sorry. I'm tired."

"Maybe you'll remember after you get some rest. I'm staying down here with you to keep an eye on you." One sighed, getting up to turn on the television before sitting on the other sofa, attention split between his brother and the television, keeping an eye on him until he fell asleep.

He had a feeling that the night's events would be completely forgotten come morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got the flu as i was writing this and its the first time in 3-4 years ive been sick so i think im magic


	31. recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one makes himself look stupid

"How are you feeling after last night?"

Two sat at the kitchen table, looking through a collection of mail with little interest as his brother brewed a second pot of coffee. They had gone through the first one quickly.

"What do you mean? Did something happen?"

One watched him carefully to try and determine if he was bluffing- not completely sold that he didn't remember. Two looked up at him after several moments of silence, expecting a response and frowning in confusion. He truly seemed to have forgotten the previous night.

"Never mind." One said calmly as he placed down a mug of coffee and some leftovers from the other night down on the table for his brother, who thankfully seemed to be quickly getting over whatever sickness he had. In his recovery, his appetite seemed to be catching up with him. One poured himself a coffee and sat on the opposite side of the table, folding his hands under his chin and smiling as he watched his brother.

"What?"

"Nothing, sorry."

 

The sky was grey for most of the afternoon, threatening to either rain or snow. They both absolutely hated the snow- rain could be tolerable, but snow was not. It had been a unique novelty the first few times they'd experienced it, but the novelty had far worn off. Hopefully the cold season would be short so they could focus on warmer weather and using the fire pit again.

"Did you do something to my phone?"

One froze as he remembered how everything was deleted off his brother's phone. Considering Two didn't seem to remember the previous night, he didn't want to confuse or concern him by telling him that he'd apparently deleted his own photos. One tried to think of a convincing excuse.

"It was an accident." One awkwardly starred off in the distance, wishing he had remembered about the phone earlier so he'd have time to think of an explanation. Two frowned at him, expecting a further response.

"Did you delete my stuff?"

One awkwardly nodded. "Someone called you while you were sleeping, a telemarketer or something. You had the ringer on and I kind of got nervous it would wake you. I don't know how it happened."

He looked over at Two to gauge his reaction, embarrassed that he was knowingly making himself look like an idiot. Two sighed, seeming to accept the explanation, not pushing it further.

"I had a lot of good pictures of us on here."

"We'll just have to take more." One tried to turn the conversation into something positive.

Two awkwardly smiled, biting his lip as if fighting the urge to say something.

"Sometimes if I'd have trouble sleeping I'd look through them. Especially on the days we weren't seeing eye to eye."

One crossed his arms and sheepishly smiled. Even though he hadn't been the one that deleted them, he felt guilty about it.

"I'm sorry." One paused before continuing. "You know if you have trouble sleeping, you can always come in my room."

"Thanks."

"I mean, even if nothing's wrong, door's always open."

Two tried hiding a smile as he turned away from his brother and walked over to the front window, but didn't respond.

"I mean, I like the company, I'm just saying." One continued awkwardly with a nervous smile on his face. Two turned around and sighed contentedly, walking back over to his brother and putting an arm around his shoulder before holding his phone out in front of them and taking a picture of them.

"There, now I forgive you." Two smiled, squeezing his brother's shoulder before taking his hand back.

 

The day came and went with Two showing no trace of still being sick- which was curious to his brother, since he had been standing in the rain long enough to get himself soaked the previous night, but he wasn't complaining. He enjoyed the peace of mind as they sat on the sofa watching a movie. Eventually Two had seemed to fall asleep, so One went into the closet to get some blankets out for him. Kneeling down in front of the sofa, he carefully placed them over his brother.

"Thanks."

"I thought you fell asleep." One smiled as he tucked Two's hair behind his ear gently.

"I did. I am."

One sighed and got back up to his feet, reaching for the remote to turn off the television.

"Can I keep it on? I like the noise."

"Of course." One switched to some sort of cooking channel- but it was late enough at night where they were only showing infomercials. Almost all channels were like this. He stretched his arms out before going to lay on the other sofa.

Two opened his eyes and looked over at his brother. "Are you staying down here?"

"Yeah, is that okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"Thanks for what?"

Met with no response, One smiled as he closed his eyes.


	32. malfunction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one gets himself in trouble  
> pls read notes before reading chapter :^)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will modestly say this is fairly NSFW and fairly sexually explicit in a not fun way--- pls skip this if that's bad or read a brief, clean synopsis here:  
> https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RfdialT_0wQrOeZ4LIwB1F00P2p_bDgiQX_EnICrA5M/edit?usp=sharing
> 
> objectively this is the worst thing ive ever written   
> i am not proud.  
> enjoy!

Despite rarely taking the car out, the last ride nearly depleted the gas. One decided to kill two birds with one stone, taking it out to fill the tank once he had finished his business in town. He cautiously left Two alone at home, scared to drag him out in the cold when he was getting over his illness, but he had instructed him to text regardless of if anything had come up. One's business was picking up some medicine from the drugstore and resupplying their alcohol cabinet.

Outside it was cold enough for him to see his breath. He regret not going out earlier while it was warmer. He figured his brother would be more open to the idea of staying home the later that One went- and he was. Actively recovering over the past few days, Two's body demanded more sleep than he usually got. Once it got dark, he started to get sluggish. His brother was able to easily convince him to stay home for the hour or so he was going to be out.

He didn't remember the last time they'd even filled up the car. One stepped out into the bitter cold, already impatient as he swiped his card at the pump. He frowned and squinted at the screen when it tossed him an error and rejected his card. Pulling his sleeves down to conceal his hands from the cold, he cursed under his breath and tried running his card through the machine again. Again, the machine rejected his card. He pressed his hand against his temple in irritation, not wanting to go in the store to get the payment ironed out, but feeling he didn't have a choice unless he wanted to drive another fifteen minutes to the next nearest station.

The worker in the store must have been alerted to the machine malfunction at the pump. Upon hearing the store door swing open and close, One turned around to find a man not much older looking and not much larger than him briskly and confidently walking over to the car. One watched awkwardly, not really prepared to communicate politely. Being in any kind of social situation without his brother there to talk on his behalf was always awkward.

"Is there a problem? Says something about a card rejection inside." The man walked cautiously around the car and next to One, who moved over to let the man get a look at the machine. One felt himself grimace, quickly forcing himself to stop as he watched the man. He wasn't good at hiding his distaste for social situations, but he didn't have his brother to back him up if something went wrong.

"Yeah, it... keeps rejecting my card. I'm just going to go somewhere else. I don't have cash on me."

One watched as the man pressed a few buttons on the machine while fidgeting around with his other hand before concealing it in his pocket to seemingly stop himself.

One looked away awkwardly, scared he was staring at the man and making him nervous. When he turned his head, the man took his hand out of his pocket to reveal he was tightly gripping a knife.

He slammed One's chest against the car, pressing his body weight into him from behind as he gripped his arms hard enough to make him wince. One saw the knife from the corner of his eye as the man held it close to his neck as if to threaten him. The scent of cheap cologne was trying to hide something, perhaps only desperation, but One couldn't figure out what it was.

The man shakily reached a hand up to tuck One's hair behind his ear before talking into it. "I'd say I'd kill you if you made a sound, but there's no one here but me and oddly enough, the security cameras malfunctioned a few minutes ago."

The feeling of the man's breath on his skin infuriated him more than anything- and for a split second he twitched instinctively, gritting his teeth and fighting the urge to struggle. His eyes watered as his rage grew, but within a matter of seconds he got himself under control.

He wasn't scared, he knew how to get out of situations like this.

The man pulled One's hair to the side and kissed his neck a few times as he leaned into him from behind. While still securely gripping the knife next to One's head, he trailed his other hand down his side and slipped it underneath his shirt. Again One grit his teeth and swallowed, staring off into what he could see of the distance.

The man led his hand back down and grabbed One's outer thigh before feeling his pockets to make sure he had nothing to retaliate with- but his pockets were empty aside from a few ibuprofen he'd stuck in there. Gaining confidence that One lacked the willpower to retaliate, he lowered his other hand while still keeping a solid grip on the knife, pulling One's shirt up and kissing his neck again.

A car on the main road slowed down, putting its direction on to turn in the gas station entrance.

"Get in the car." One demanded confidently before the man had a chance to threaten him or react to the car pulling into the entrance. The sooner One steered the situation in his favor, the better. Without missing a beat, the man complied, opening the back door and quickly getting into the car, One following him shortly after. Whether or not the other car's driver had seen them was not of concern to him.

Still holding tightly onto the knife and holding it in obvious sight, the man situated himself in the back seat as One crawled onto him and kneeled over his lap. He felt a rush of confidence in knowing he was regaining control of the situation, and squeezed the man's shoulders gently as he leaned into him and kissed him on the lips.

The car that pulled in either did not see them or did not care what was happening as they got out and pumped their gas with no complications. There would have been no way they could have seen what was happening in the car's backseat.

One kissed him again, pushing his chest up against him and sliding one of his feet down onto the floor, using it to further push himself against the man.

"Put the fucking knife down, you don't need it."

He kept kissing him, caressing his neck before trailing his hand down to rub the man's upper leg. The only light came from a couple dim lamps above the fuel pumps. One kept an eye on the other car, freezing in place as he watched the person finish pumping gas, get back into their car, then drive around One and back out onto the street. One feigned a quiet, relieved sigh before turning back to the man underneath him. Once the car had driven off, the man dropped the knife out of the car window, presumably not confident that One would have used it against him.

"Good boy." One felt his heart pound as he gained over this man's trust. He paused for a split second as he sat up straight and slowly started to lift his shirt up. He had hoped his eyes would have adjusted to the darkness by now but they hadn't fully done so- he could see the man, but couldn't see where he was looking. One reached for his hand and placed it on his exposed chest before holding up his shirt with his mouth and turning his head to have a quick glance behind him, at the front of the car.

The man leisurely preoccupied himself with feeling One's chest before guiding his hands down to his hips. One felt himself start to sweat as he carefully and quietly reached behind himself into the center console directly behind his back. His actions seemed to go unnoticed as the man took his hands away to unzip his own pants.

One reached back without a sound, grabbing a handgun from inside the center console before comfortably repositioning himself on the man's lap and pressing it into his temple. Only when he felt the cold metal did he freeze and realize what was happening.

"Oh god, please don't kill me." The man's voice trembled. One bit his lips in a frantic attempt to stop himself from smiling. The situation had immediately done a 180 as One felt the man's entire body tremble in fear. His eyes watered in rage as he pushed the gun against the man's temple further.

"Unzip my pants." One's voice shook as well, but he wasn't scared, he was angry. The man audibly cried as he reached forward with trembling hands to take a half-hearted attempt at trying to unbutton them.

"Come on, what's the matter?" One said, trying to stifle a sob as he talked, ultimately turning it into a laugh as he twisted the gun into the man's temple slightly. He grit his teeth and smiled, feeling a rush of satisfaction as he practically broke down in front of him.

"I'm sorry," The man choked on his own words, sobbing uncontrollably as he unsuccessfully tried to unbutton One's pants. "I wouldn't have hurt you, I wouldn't have done anything."

One laughed confidently at the remark as he felt tears roll down his cheeks. "Oh, you're going to do something, alright."

A light shone from the passenger's seat as One's phone vibrated. Without taking his eyes off the man or moving the gun, he reached back and grabbed the phone, holding it with his shoulder up to his ear.

One fiddled with the phone, struggling a little before successfully picking up the call. "What's up?" He was able to compose himself back to normal within seconds.

"Is everything okay?" Two's voice timidly came through the phone as a rush of calmness washed over One.

"Yeah. Hold on, I'm driving. I'm going to pull over." One held the phone down away from his face for a second before very quietly speaking, still securely holding the gun to the man's head.

"You even look like you're going to scream or speak up and I'm pulling the trigger. My brother's stressed out enough as it is and I don't need you making it worse. Do you understand?"

The man nodded frantically.

"Good boy."

One held the phone back up to his ear with his shoulder, keeping one hand free. "Okay, what's up? Everything okay?" One asked as calmly as possible as he reached forward to stroke the man's bottom lip with his thumb. He shifted around on his lap to make himself more comfortable as he listened to his brother.

"Yeah. I got a little nervous because you weren't answering my texts but I forgot you were driving. I'm really sorry."

"Don't apologize, it's alright. I'm about to be on my way home." One talked calmly, stroking the man's cheek as if to patronize him.

"So you'll be home soon? I was kicking around the idea of making something for dinner."

One smiled at the gesture. "You don't have to go through that kind of trouble."

"It's the last I could do." Two paused, letting out a nervous laugh. "Sorry, I'm rambling. I didn't mean to stop you from driving. You said you pulled off to the side of the road?"

The man took a deep breath from his mouth and swallowed audibly. "He's not-"

One immediately cut the man off, silencing him with a pull of the trigger, just as he'd promised to do if he spoke up. One dropped the gun onto the seat and tried to hold the man upright in an attempt to prolong the inevitable bleeding. He was immediately dead the moment One pulled the trigger.

"What was that?" Two said through the phone in a nervous murmur. One paused for a moment, trying to stop himself from being overwhelmed.

"Sorry, I pulled off into a parking lot. There's a bunch of people fighting. I think I should get going. I'm starting to miss you."

One waited for a reply.

"You there?"

"Yeah, sorry, thanks. I'll see you soon." Two replied softly.

"Thanks for what?"

Two had hung up before answering him. One smiled for a few seconds before putting his phone down and returning his attention to the situation in front of him.

"Now, what would have possessed you to speak up after I told you not to?" One said to the corpse with sarcastic bewilderment. The gunshot to his temple had immediately killed him, and blood poured from his skull and mouth, threatening to make its way onto the car seats. One would have pulled the trigger regardless of what the man had done and if he had listened- but he had wanted more time to make him regret what he'd done. Since One had pulled the situation in his favor, he could have really made the man regret what he'd done. Now he didn't even have enough time to figure out what he was going to do next.

He sighed loudly as he pulled his shirt off, tying it tightly around the man's head to try and stop the blood from getting on anything. He only briefly worried about ruining the car's interior- the car was easily replaceable, but explaining blood stains to his brother wouldn't be easy.

Without further hesitation, One got out of the backseat and stepped outside. The cold no longer bothered him- but he felt dizzy as he stood up.

"*God, I am not prepared for this.*" There wasn't a soul to be seen. He ran briskly into the storefront where the man had come from.

Snooping around behind the counter, he realized the man wasn't joking about disabling the security cameras as he'd unplugged them all. To some degree, the assault must have been thought out. He had probably shut down the credit card terminal at that specific pump to buy himself some time without raising suspicion.

Deciding not to mess around too much and genuinely wanting to get back home to Two, he grabbed a couple trash bags and some aprons from behind the register. He paused on his way out, turning back around and grabbing a couple packs of cigarettes from the display underneath the counter.

"For my trouble."

One repeated to himself that he really wasn't prepared for this. Crawling back into the backseat, he took his shirt back off the man's face as he continued to bleed out. One almost gagged at the combination of sight and subtle gurgling as he replaced the shirt with a few aprons he tied around the man's head before securely tying the bags around his head to minimize the possibility of him bleeding out into the car.

He winced as he turned on the car light, expecting to see bloodstains all over the seats, but he'd done some pretty good damage control. His shirt had patches of blood that had soaked all the way through, and he again gagged, holding his breath as he pulled his shirt shirt back over his head. Now his greatest concern would be explaining his shirt to his brother.

 

He paused at the front door, planning on making a run upstairs to change his clothes before his brother could see him. Nervously, he held his breath and quietly opened the door to find Two situated at the stove, stirring something in a pot. Two smiled and looked over at him, but his smile disappeared and he froze at the sight of One, letting go of the ladle as it dropped to the floor.

"No no, it's fine." One said before Two had a chance to speak. He smiled as genuine as he could, cursing himself for not thinking of a better alibi on the ride home.

"What happened?" Two could barely talk legibly as his voice shook and his words all blurred together. One didn't know how to respond, so he paused for a second and pretended to dust himself off to buy himself a few more seconds.

He was definitely getting worse at lying to his brother.

"How did that happen?" Two asked, breaking the most awkward silence of his brother's life. His face went pale as he watched One, still unmoving from where he was before.

"I'm fine, I promise. Look." One smiled hopefully, trying to hold sincere eye contact with his brother before taking the shirt off and gesturing to himself. "See, there's nothing. I'm fine. It's not my blood."

For a split second, One regret mentioning it wasn't his blood.

After a few moments of silent consideration, Two exhaled audibly as the stiffness exited his body. "You scared me half to death. Tell me what happened."

Two picked the fallen ladle up off the floor and put it in the sink as he watched his brother expectantly.

"I got in a fight at the gas station parking lot. Guy a bit bigger than me." He paused to think. "That's what the yelling was on the phone, if you could hear it. Wasn't directed at me, just got caught in the middle of it."

He paused again. Two watched him intently.

"So you're okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay. I promise. Look. There's not a scratch on me." One laughed sincerely as he talked. "I'm sorry if I scared you."

Two watched him uneasily before sighing, turning around to get a bottle of whiskey out of the liquor cabinet to the right of the stovetop and downing half of it with no hesitation.

"I can't argue with that." One smiled as he watched with mild amusement, knowing the gesture meant his brother was alright. "However, I'll be honest, I have never needed a shower worse than I do right now."

"Don't be too long." Two started as his brother went upstairs. "Dinner's almost done."

"You got it."

 

Two prepared a couple small plates of food for them after his brother was done upstairs. They sat at opposite dies of the small kitchen table and started eating in silence. Two paused to watch his brother, who looked up at him after feeling like he was being stared at.

"Are you sure you're okay? I promise I'll stop bringing it up, I'm sorry." Two paused and sighed. "I just feel like something's off."

"I promise I'm fine. I was a little shaky driving home. Not ideal to be dragged into a fight alone."

Two smiled sympathetically, seeming to accept the response. "I wish I would have gone with you."

"No, I wouldn't have had it." One shook his head and smiled as he continued to eat. "I don't want you going out until I'm sure you're okay."

"I've been feeling fine for a few days now."

"Alright." One smiled, propping his head up with his hand. "Just humor me and give me a few more days. I won't go out either."

Two knew he didn't really have a say in it, so he just shook his head in acceptance and sighed.

"Don't really know why I even went out." One watched as his brother finished eating. "Don't really like being alone."

After a couple moments of silence, One's smile faded as the day's events rushed back to him all at once. It was easy for him to assess bad situations in a way that got him out of them as quickly as possible, but now that it was over and done with, it fully dawned on him what had happened. He took his hand away from his face and clutched his heart, staring off into the distance behind his brother. Immediately concerned, Two watched him carefully, reluctant to ask if he was alright, scared it would upset him.

"You're scaring me." Two spoke softly. One tried his best to hold himself together for his brother's sake, not wanting to dig himself a bigger hole than he already had.

He felt his eyes water up, so he forced a smile and put his head down, giving his brother an unconvincing thumbs up.

Two had a feeling he wouldn't get answers out of his brother, and that hurt him deeply, but it wasn't time to make the situation about his own feelings.

He walked over and gently rubbed his brother's back before placing a hand on his shoulder. After a few moments, One reached over to put his hand on top of his brother's, but kept his head down and his face concealed. His brother's touch was the only touch that was a comfort to him.

"Alright, I'm going to give you some space." Two picked his hand up from his brother's shoulder and stroked his hair. "I have a feeling you need it."

Two walked over to the stairs, turning around to glance at his brother once more, who still hadn't moved from where he was.

"I'm here for you."

He did him the courtesy of turning the lights off as he went upstairs. One stayed where he was for a few more minutes before slowly picking his head up and cringing when he experienced a loud ringing in his ears. It was dark and quiet, and he was alone, but it was a different kind of loneliness.

Although he wanted to, but he couldn't bring himself to cry. He wanted to let his emotions out in a healthy way to help him cope with what had happened, but something had stopped him. Feeling his hands go numb, he put his head back down on the table and closed his eyes again.


	33. move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One thinks about the night's events

Several hours had passed by the time he picked his head up off the table. Intense thought eventually gave way to emotional numbness, and in a very specific way, he felt better.

He polished off the bottle that Two had taken down from the cabinet, then had one last thought about what would have happened if his brother was with him earlier that night. He felt unreal- he had succeeded in calming himself down a little, but to an extent he felt as if he wasn't there at all.

Carefully, he got to his feet, pausing as the blood rushed to his head, causing his ears to ring.

He slowly climbed upstairs, stopping briefly when he noticed his brother's door was slightly left open. He quietly entered the unlit room, sighing silently to himself as he laid down on the floor next to the bed. In his half-conscious state, he half hoped that Two was still awake.

"Are you awake?" One asked quietly without fully realizing he was talking out loud.

"Yeah." Two replied after a long pause. It was unclear to One if he had woke his brother or if he was already awake. He felt a brief pang of guilt as he repositioned himself to sit upright on the floor with some difficulty.

"You okay?" Two asked, rolling over to face his brother. His tiredness was reflected in his voice- but it was a pleasant and calm tired, and to a point, it helped One to feel better.

Several moments of silence passed.

"Do you like it here?" One finally asked him.

"What do you mean?"

Despite not being able to see anything, One's eyes darted around as he tried to think of how to explain.

"The area, I guess. The city."

"It's home. Or that's what I feel like it is."

There was a long pause.

"Would you consider moving?" One asked, unsure of the words coming out of his mouth. There was another short pause, followed by the sound of Two moving around underneath his covers, moving himself over to the other wide of the bed.

"There."

One smiled and ran his hand down his face as he tried to stifle a sigh. "No, I mean moving to a different city. Somewhere else."

"Why?"

"It's dangerous here."

"What do you mean?"

One realized his brother didn't wholly understand- partly because he was often spared of the mishaps they got into in some way or another, partly because he was still half asleep. He had second thoughts about bringing up the conversation, especially bringing it up in the middle of the night.

"Don't worry about it. I think I had a nightmare."

"Okay." Two replied after a few seconds, allowing his brother to drop the subject rather than perusing it. The room fell back into silence and One started to drift off while still sitting up.

"Come here." Two said softly. "You can't sleep on the floor."

One smiled to himself, briefly considering challenging the statement in some way before remembering it was late. He carefully climbed into the bed, audibly sighing in content. The brief conversation had eased his mind and, for a small while, made him forget the night's events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter! i didnt mean to go solong without updating i didn't realiz it had even been that long buuuut it wont happen nagain


End file.
